NSY investigate police blog hacker!

New Scotland Yard (OK, probably a uniform constable on attachment to a Borough CID team) are to investigate the hacking of an email account belonging to unofficial police blogger, Nightjack.

I would like to lend my full support to any senior police officer who orders an investigation  into the compromising of  anonymous police bloggers who expose the inadequacies of, well, senior police officers.

I never thought I would say this, but we really have reached the point where you couldn’t make this up.

Perhaps my work here is done.

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Or perhaps we need to keep hearing about how, on the new ‘Response Hub F’, Ruralshire Constabulary, my skippers and I have just been hit with a whole new set of forms and lists to fill in ‘before the end of your shift’ so that our leaders can ‘measure, record and monitor performance to ensure that the people of Ruralshire receive a world-class policing service of which we can be proud’.

Personally, I think that we would be proud if we could get a car to them within 30 minutes if a burglar is inside their house trying to smash their heads in, but what do I know?

The number of forms and lists we have to complete ‘before then end of your shift’ is now so great that you have to start compiling them at the start of our shift.

The absolute horror of the risk that one of us might go home and that a report detailing how Shaznay and Wayne sent several mildly irritating texts to each other with the usual threats to commit arson might have to wait for a few hours, is too great to contemplate apparently.

Everyone knows that making sure we accurately record  the details of Shaznay and Wayne’s virtual relationship will really stop them form having arguments in the future. Won’t it?

Or could it be that Shaznay has too many kids to handle, that Wayne needs something constructive to do in his life other than nicking, the local shop need to stop selling them discounted alcohol while the baby freezes outside in the buggy and that we, the ambulance service, the NHS and Social Services simply stop pandering to their every cry for attention?

One day, in the context of the fact that in the final analysis, Shazza never did provide a statement accusing Wayne of anything much, and therefore he never was successfully prosecuted, he probably will burn the house down and kill them all. Even if he had been prosecuted and convicted, nothing would have happened to him.

The ‘back office’ staff who used to read all these lists and reports have long since gone in any case. There is no one to enter all the data on to the system either. The backlog is several hundred just for my old Division. Senior managers read the performance data quick enough though.

But then, the fact that ten years ago, I filled out a form ‘before the end of my shift’ detailing what an arse Wayne had been on Facebook again will save me from being fired. Won’t it?

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