There is a new and unexplained outbreak of ‘back trouble’ and other muscular skeletal injury in Ruralshire.
The outbreak seems to be clustered around the Ruralshire Constabulary Police Training College, and restricted to police training officers. This couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that probationer training is about to end could it?
Ruralshire Constabulary announced a recruitment freeze a few months ago, and we now know that there will be no new probationer constables for at least three years. It is highly likely that the probationer training department, one of the last bastions of the crazed ego, will be swiftly kicked into touch and the trainers themselves sent out onto the wicked streets of the shire, to practise what they have been preaching for the best part of their careers.
With a few notable exceptions *, trainers are police officers who over the last decade or two, have made the grubby business of talking bollocks to new recruits an exact science. They are now faced with the horrific prospect of having to find childcare like the rest of us, get up a few hours earlier, scrape ice off the windscreen, compete for annual leave, find somewhere to park and deal with the possibility of having to tell an angry man something he doesn’t want to hear on a regular basis.
Hence the sudden bouts of ‘back pain’, specifically selected for its impossibility to disprove.
Most Useless Person Police Ever Trained.
Most Ruralshire Constabulary ‘training’ is us doing it for ourselves, on flip charts, with the hapless trainers as ‘facilitators’, which is code for ‘I haven’t a clue what I’m teaching’. Most are simply after qualifications, paid for by the job, which they can use to supplement their pension by teaching when they retire.
I know a number of ‘trainers’ who were totally useless, frightened and barely competent on the streets, who are ‘Lords of all they survey’ at Training College.
Not having any probationers for the next three years will mean that there is now no one to carry out the following essential policing tasks:
1. Make the tea and get the doughnuts in.
2. Fill out the Road Traffic Accident cards.
3. Stand around outside the houses of people who have done nasty things to each other.
4. Complete the whole shifts internet learning packages on a variety of pointless subjects.
5. Arrive at the Inspectors office and ask for things which don’t exist like skyhooks, left-handed screwdrivers and camouflage paint.
I think we should re-deploy all the trainers to carry out the above tasks. After all, they are the experts.
The truly great thing about being a probationer in Ruralshire, is that almost as soon as you have finished your two years probation, you turn around one day top find you are the most senior PC on the unit!
* Please read again – every decent cop who has been a trainer does NOT need to write in and complain please!
Coming Soon – infamous policing blog troll – Melvin T Gray! watch this space……
First?
Gadget, I can fully sympathise with you here. Up’tnorthlandshire has not been recruiting fresh paramedics for over a year, despite the SMTs pleas to the contrary in public. Trouble is we’ve had a pretty bad year for leavers and retirements in my patch. Since jan 1st we’ve lost two to planned retirements, one who decided take early retirement after a non job medical problem, two from job related medical and three younglins who’ve just had enough of the crap from the underclass and are now private for the BRDC.
This constitutes a sizeable percentage of our cover yet those upstairs still kid themselves that everythings alright. I suppose a small blessing is the we outsourced training years ago so we’ve got no muppets to come FUBAR it up further.
The worst thing of all? I still have to make my own tea.
Stay safe everyone out there tonight.
How to win friends…….????? lol.
Oh Blimey, I’m past caring about that..LOL
Way, way past;
The trainers must diversify and engage with the community (after a little reflexology, to sooth the aching back). They have so many transferable skills to offer to the public sector. For a start here’s ‘Petals’ ‘Kettles’ and ‘Dettols’ and I suspect that craftily, with an eye to the future, they have created their very own ‘health an’ safety market’.
Neat: pay attention boys and girls, there are lessons to be learnt.
http://www.chss.uk.com/article222.html
I notice the company you linked to there, has just gone bust…
Ahhh, that will be the real world then.
Most of our training staff are at least part way through formal training/teaching quals, paid for by the job of course.
Uphill take a slap for using the phrase “diversify and engage with the community.”
Third!
Second, over a year out of probation and still havent found anything I was taught in college of any use at all, to what I do on a day to day basis.
Theft act ? … starter for one perhaps !
Very little of what gets taught these days is legislation, and that most will learn from a Blackstones book.
Must have gone in a different decade then
Oh no forth………..
Evenin’ chap. How’s the motherland tonight?
Not so bad, you not still living here then?
Nah, Not lived at home for years, I come back regularly to see the folks down south though.
I’m somewhere north of Birmingham and south of the land of deep fried mars bars.
Motherland because it’s full of single mums?
Oi! Watch it!
And the Welsh the multiple parents then?
Sheep don’t get married do they?
And the land of their childrens’ four fathers?
I’m sorry! Have you been to your local swamp lately!?!?
Anyway, it was you Inglish that invented the single parent. Fact. 
Taffy,
I think we can all agree, that was a good bite.
We’re gonna need a bigger boat!!
Though I still maintain it was the English who invented the single mother…. opps sorry, parent. Fact.
** Note to self; do not drink half a dozen magners and post on here in future!
You’re excused the inebriation Taffy…I’ve never met a sober welshman…
Ha, I remember that happening to me, I was the senior JT only after six months. I was clueless.
Still am, come to think of it.
Bugger.
No, because now you know that you know nothing, which is something.
It those that dont know that they know nothing that are the real worry!
Unfortunatly the more I learn, the less I realise I know.
So glad to hear the ambulance service isn’t alone in this.
Training schools seem to be the living embodiment of “those that can, do….etc”.
Make all training posts six months on, six months back in the real world, I say.
Och well,
been first before… but not this time. sigh..
Another great post, lol my arse off !
Oh yes, and glad to hear your response skippers really are only 12 – thought it was a sign of my age.
Those that can’t do….
teach….
those that can’t teach…
teach gym….
Woody Allen, Jack Black, your choice.
Thank goodness for a freeze in recruitment, we may be able to teach the young coppers how to be coppers and not characterless identikit training school androids.
I believe many at training school suffer with Nyctophobia, it seems to be an increasing problem.
do not forget the the rest , if ye cannot teach then try and preach , if all else fails then just be a leach.
RE: Teaching , I passed out of a course with 99.5 [ not perfect, I know] so was kept back to be a DI and an Instructor, no practical experience, hated every moment of saying things I never fully comprehended, so went on to see the rest of the world.
Do not forget the 1lb of Elbow grease and a empty can of commonsense.
And those who can’t teach anything become Equality and Diversity “Managers” in the Civil Service.
Those that can – do
Those that can’t – teach
Those that can’t teach – write books and become ‘consultants’
Our training staff are looking distinctly panicky these days too…they get to swan around in nice poloshirts and combats too, whereas the frontliners are still in shirt/tie/woollen trews….seems backward somehow….
Sir, again a very good post. Our force is restructuring, and apparently ALL police officers are liable for re-deployment with the majority to uniform response/area/neighbourhood- though I noticed a disalaimer stating all officers on restricted duties would be redployed first to a”suitable posting” in order to comply with the DDA – am waiting to see what that little gem actually means. Being a non-restricted DC in a specialist post(under duress), I cannot WAIT to get back to frontline work. And yes I have already told my bosses.
P.S.
Aren’t they called “students” or something, these days? I got told off for saying “probie”……
They are ‘student constables’….. which is why I call them probationers.
I refuse to speak the Nulabour Orwellian language.
cheers boss, i hated being called a “Student Constable/Officer” made me feel like a small child.
The ‘student constables’ never really caught on in the Met either. Lasted even less time than the policing pledge (dirty words).
Probationers all the way!
Ah, I see. ……..no, I don’t actually, why have they changed it? You are on probabtion therefore a probationer? No?Is this why their warrant cards are different colours?
Guess that would explain the look of shock on the training school receptionist face when I said I was there to speak to probationers then……
Warrant cards are a different colour?! Not in Metrocity they aren’t!
Hmmmm – ‘Probie’.
Sounds rather sexual!!!!!
oi!
Errrrr………… Yes?
Hmmm. Thought it was hot fuzz as in a homage to the film… Starting to think is “hot fuzz” means in need of a cold shower! Take care hottie!!
I have also thought that if you wanted to bet a trainer you should go in to teaching, which is a different profession to policing.
Mind you they would be unable to deal with unruly kids in the real world so they have to deal with the grown ups and use the nazi diversity police to get you to comply with their perverted views.
With you all the way Gadget on the inadequates that go in to la la land of training, who have little operational experience and no creadaility.
I am going to enjoy the squeeze on police funding. I was also told this week, that ACPO have asked the Home Sec to look at capability for the restricted. Namely if you carn’t do it front line you are going to go and not with a pension.
The wheels turning, those that have played all the cards to get out of policing are in for a dose of reality. Policing is hard and difficult and it involves working 24/7 365 days a year. If you don’t want to do it get out now and do us all a favour.
Spartan,
Hardly fair for the ones injuried and stuffed by the job over the years who dont get medical and are stuck in chairs, never mind those who like the rest of the human planet , fall ill, etc etc or find themselfs disabled.
Front line is not the holy grail.
I find your comments a little over the top here fella !
How many have been injured at work? Paper cut injuries do not count along with being a hippo through shovling crap down their fat necks.
I am sick of the lame and lazy for not being able to do front line duties through none work related injuries.
Plus all the brave colleagues injured carrying around those massive chips on their shoulders.
Police regs allow for retiring inefficient officers. Reg A19
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1987/257/regulation/A19/made
Don’t agree with that at all.
Many officers on restricted are there for medical reasons, and there are many who are pulling a fast one.
As you correctly point out, policing is hard and difficult. Some of our colleagues have found it so hard and difficult that they’re ill / injured. Don’t treat them as if they’re dirt.
Lets hope that you don’t find yourself on restricted duties through an incident at work. I bet you wont enjoy the squeeze on policing then………
…and Reg A20 for disablement
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1987/257/regulation/A20/made
I had a long reply for you “F” about the regs,the fed,and a host of other things but then I cant be bothered to explain why your comments are ill placed.
Perhaps you should have paid attention in training school and you would have understood.
Yes, for the 30+ers but it will happen in many forces.
30+ are totally different and can be given 28 days notice fella…
In fact i should have paid attention tonight. Just re read the thread, It’s late I’m tired, goodnight.
Insp, you have just described the training college, down to the absolute finest detail. The trainers were (and still are) pretentious backstabbing loopers with a god complex. Our recruitment is closing down for five years allegedly. Strange to see the similarities in Police training across the country . . . (!)
Training school / HQ have been bastions of those who find it the perfect environment to study for promotion usually in works time……Lets see them do it now while working shifts like the rest of us
Have to say the trainers I have had were a unique breed…..
Did they all have a white streak in their hair and look strikingly similar?
When I was at Ashford our class trainer was an ex Det Sgt . He may well have gone there for an easy life but he had done the job on the street for 20 odd years and he had real hands on experience.
I had a trainer who had 28 years in all frontline or CID and was spending the last couple at training school before retiring. Contrast that to the class next door who’s trainer was 25 years old with less than 3 years service.
…and while Rome burns IG plays the fiddle…
I hated training school. Non residential nearly 5 years ago. Trainers were bleeding patronising, and didn’t give me any confidence in what they taught.
I learnt how to police on group not at tr school. I learnt all the definitions off me own back, and kept a large pievce of My soul out of the experience.
I don’t want any trainers on our shift they spell nothing but trouble – they’ve sat in the ivory tower for years, and have had ample time to learn how to quote all the corporate procedure shite that I hate.
Fuck em! Make em have it…
Over the last 2-3 years, the standard of new recruits/probies/student officers has been noticably poor in my nick. Not many of them have much ‘Get Up and Go’. I don’t know if that is a reflection on society or just our recruiting standards.
When I joined many, many years ago, it was rare to see a proby struggle. Nowadays, about 30% don’t make the grade and leave of their own accord or persuaded to leave.
I look at the trainers on our tutor (PDU as it is now known, whatever that stands for!) unit. It is a mixture of the fat, lazy and useless, that were not exactly the most dynamic of officers when they were last out on the streets. As far as I’m concerned, SMT can disband that unit and send everyone back to response. The trainers will probably go off sick and we can then teach the probies how to do the job properly.
Interestingly I find the opposite. Granted I’m in CID, but uniform are first on scene and usually end up putting together a package or an initial report. The ones with sub five years in are usually pretty good. over 15 years in my experience don’t even know how to take a statement or conduct a basic investigation.
Suppose they are still on response groups after all those years because they are not capable enough to do anything else.
Typical suit attitude, just because some PC’s stay on repsonse team for their entire service does not mean that they are not capable of doing anything else, they might just love the role…..
It could be said that officers end up in CID because they cant handle the streets! I have got rid of several officers from response and put them in CID roles (after unsuccesful attempts to get them out altogether) because they were an absolute liability / bloody useless on the street
I was speaking from personal experience. There are very few response bobbies at my nick with over 15 years, and they are, for the large part, lazy and useless. Their mantra is “I hate this job, and if it wasn’t for the pension I’d quit”
Not helped by the fact that there are sergeants with less than three years in signing up their packages and allowing them to cherry pick jobs so they don’t moan.
Your attitude personifies why us woolies despise some of you lot. You consider yourselves superior just because your ego drove you to go to CID so that your mum could go to dinner parties to boast about her son being “promoted” to detective (much to her friends surprise as they all remember you as the wee fat kid with no pals who was rubbish at sport).
You just continue to make a fortune of overtime in exchange for having no life and spend the proceeds on more vats of hair product and overpriced suits.
Oh dear. Has someone in CID had to retake one of your statements again lately, and you got a negative PDJ?
This culture of not firing someone for being inadequate, or allowing people to rise to the level of incompetence has cause many a problem especially significant when a life is at stake, it is a real problem.
There are cases where an oval peg should find the right fit.
Where a rewrite is needed then re training should be required to get the team up to speed otherwise the perp will win, this insanity of allowing failures to struggle on is insane. The farce should be one team, as in some be better at defending the goal than being a striker, but to win the championship ye need each other, your foe is not a fellow team member but those that are giving you a sticky wicket, or be it ripping off the good but silent majority ,or puking on the streets.
No.
I find our divisions CID officers to generally be a bit of an embarasement and the officers at my station to be a mix of good and bad.
We are lucky in my area to have a lot of cops with service, it doesn’t mean we are crap, simply that we have made the decision to stick at (or come back to) the job we all signed up to in the first place. That does not make us inferior.
I suppose it depends on what sort of area you police. My nick covers the biggest inner city gang infested shithole in the county.
Response is hell, with poor staffing, morale, and little chance of getting off on time or a meal break most days. Nobody wants to police it, and after completing probation the majority are already looking for a way out.
CID is enjoyable, because you are dealing with major incidents on a regular basis.
I went to one of the more provincial sleepy hollow stations to assist with a murder. The response was completely different to where I work in terms of length of service diversity. By contrast, the CID department seemed witless dealing with anything more complicated than somebody stealing a car stereo.
Hey, I think you guys need to remember we are supposed to be on the same side!
Be careful what you wish for Spartan and think before you post. You may get a kicking or have a crash tonight or over the next few days that requires months of rehab-should they get rid of you. There are people out there taking the p*ss but others who are genuine cases. If we are not prepared to look after our own then who will?
I agree with IG about those who hide in 9-5 offices but there are many people who do massively crucial work who are not 24/7. A denial of this shows a total lack of understanding of how the organisation functions.
Agree with retired and thethinblueline.
I had to hide somewhere quiet for six months after spinal surgery last year. I was in agony and limping but some people still thought I was milking it. Thankfully back out and about now though.
Yes some are lazy and pulling a fast one, but there are genuine cases of illness/injury as well.
Remember that next time you’re out there!
I loved training school. 15 weeks residential, free food getting paid for marching, running and roll play mint! all changed now though and all fun removed I believe. our last few trainers are training specials would you believe! poor buggers.
(the specials that is)
Here in Urbansville, it was Police Training School b4 morphing into er, “Police College” with the emphasis on being a “Centre of Excellence”. Guess what ? – it ‘aint.
Hmm… any tips for surviving training?
Get a bullshit filter fitted
Training is a game – always remember that – just play the game by their rules and we’ll show you how to do the job properly soon enough!!!!
PLAY THE GAME.
Simples. Do as you’re told, get stuck in, stay keen. Also you’ll make some friends for life.
Then get out on the street with your head spinning with legislation and definitions and the real learning can begin.
Good luck.
I was told by my tutor to forget everything I’d learnt at training school. If somebody did something wrong I was to tell them off. If somebody did something very wrong (eg. something I thought my Mum would not like) I was to arrest them. This approach has worked quite well for 25+ years. But society has changed and there is now a heck of a lot that my Mum doesn’t like (fat children, teenagers who don’t stand up straight, anyone eating fast food in the street) so I have had to make modifications. But have no doubt you will find an approach to policing and have a great time whilst you are doing it
Play the game for the weeks of training then on day ONE with your team learn from them. If you Police how the government think you should police you’ll have your arse handed to you on a plate inside a month, it only takes one idiot out of the thousands of people you’ll deal with in your first year to ruin your life and future. Anyone with more than 4 years service on the street is good to learn from. Be enthusiastic and get stuck in, don’t be arrogant or patronising or they’ll do the minimum to help you without being seen as bullying or ostracising and you’ll learn nothing. You’re going to spend more time with the people on your team than you will your own family, you’ll share experiences with them that no one outside the job will comprehend and you’ll do it quite regularly.
Offer to make a brew every now and then, on my current team, with the exception of one person we’ve all got between 4 and 15 years service – we all make the brews, do the washing up, get the doughnuts in etc. When you’ve been working your arse off having someone give you a brew without being asked puts you way up there in their eyes. It’s also a good way of saying you understand the need for even just a minute or so out from the environment they work in, even if you don’t yet. The power of the brew is one of the main things hugely underestimated in policing.
To survive AT school – head down, learn your definitions, embrace the roleplays, acknowledge the diversity “golden thread”. Find a good bar that you and your colleagues can relax in after hours. Join in with social stuff. Go home at least once a week if you can! Do not go out into local town, get trashed and bring back a 16yr old local. Try to avoid the temptation to jump into bed with a fellow student.
To survive after school and back in reality-
Avoid saying, AT ALL COSTS, “But at training school, we were told…..” that doesn’t go down well at all.
You will get away with “We weren’t taught that at training school” a couple of times (cos we know you weren’t) but if there is a whiff of “so I’m not doing it” then the same applies!
and offer to make tea. A lot.
OaaL – “Try to avoid the temptation to jump into bed with…”
Should include ANY of the College staff (Training, cleaning, or catering!!)
As one of the first ipldp or whatever it was called I have seen the course cut by nearly 8 weeks. From what i can remember they could lose more. Our PDUs are getting binned and I assume the same of the training school staff. I am looking forward to the sight of some of them hitting shift for the first time in 10 years and smelling the coffee.
On the flip side, a couple of my trainers knew what it was all about. They edited some of the lessons in to real life and binned some of the bollox. Both are now back on shift, one as a PC and one as APS, both are doing very well.
I just pray the diversity and customer focus lot get the same treatment.
FRH
I recently returned from a 2 year attachment as a community officer to a response section and found that, at 6 years service, I have the most service on the team by a good 3 years. I am one of only 3 people in a team of 14 who are out of their probation!
Add to that a skipper who has recently returned from a 4 year holiday at the College and regularly has to turn to me to ask what to do because she is having to rapidly relearn that what they teach bears very little resemblance to what we like to call real life!
Combine that with the fact that said skipper successfully managed to piss off the majority of the probies on the shift by being a little Hitler at the College!!!
This obviously leads to the situation of all the probies also coming to me in the first instance for advice!
Still, this situation won’t last forever………a lot of office based jobs are about to be cut in our Farce so I’m sure the 20 year members of the shiny bottom brigade will soon grace us with their presence………and no doubt ask me how to do the job as well!!!!!!!
I never left the front line other than to work in Holmes rooms for perhaps 3 or so months. To be frank I always felt that if I was absent for any great length of time so much would change, procedures, paperwork etc that I would have to be re trained!
Beautiful post.
To those still expressing concern re injuries and recuperative postings – read again.
The worry about (I nearly said ‘around’ there) these is that the cuts may mean such hidey holes will not be available – such as in the possible cuts in the armed forces being discussed and soon to be implemented in some form or another.
I for one will be pleased to think about all the compleete wankers I experienced in the Metro Pleece Farce who were area trainers right through to the new breed of diversity trainers including the complete tosser who claimed to be a Det Sgt – he only mentioned that fact (on average) every 5 minutes plus that he and his wife had a moose-slim ‘nanny’ and basically told us all that we were Nazis in waiting, one short step away from implementing the Final Solution for all minority groups in the UK.
A brief chat where he refused to tell us his qualifications, other than being a soviet style political officer and utter tool, to present a revisionist version of history in comparison to several of us with genuine qualifications in the subject meant we all went home early. I spent a week or so waiting for the knock at the door and the forced transportation to a re-education gulag but it never came.
Post 2012 is when the real bloodbath will occur.
What an utter oxygen thief.
Ranter,
I totally agree with you. None of us have seen anything yet. Post 2012 -13 things will get very bad for people in general and services supporting the public. The economy will pick up at the end of 2011 into 2012 because of the Olympics… but after that its down hill and cuts, cuts, cuts!
Worry not, the midnight knock on the door is coming, courtesy of the European Arrest Warrant.
I remember (just – it was a long time ago!) At training school spending a whole frigging day learning the reg’s about skips! Never used it since, now days a whole portion is devoted to diversity issues.
One of our best trainers did not want to be a trainer but had been posted, very down to earth bloke, told the truth but as expected didn’t last long!
Not just training dept, there are a whole bunch of shiny arses panicking at going out onto the mean streets!
I have always said every sworn copper should have to spend at least 4 weeks a year back on response, just to make sure they don’t forget what it’s like in the real world!
You were lucky-What about having to do written reports about an imaginary “driving a horse and cart without reins”
offence!!
no seat belts too????
Over at Up Hill, Down Dale; Spud the dog is one year old!
http://uphilldowndale.wordpress.com
‘Coming Soon – infamous policing blog troll – Melvin T Gray! watch this space……’
what-do-you- mean……. I just spent the morning getting rid of him off my blog
I think the troll needs to be fed in a controlled way.
And I wanted to do a post about how Care In The Community is failing patients and the public.
You’re right, one of the last things society needs right now is obese trolls; think of the impact on the NHS.
I can’t wait to hear the next batch of melv’s insane ramblings!
I wonder if anyone else has noticed that if you google “melvin t gray” his address is listed on the second link down. Silly Melvin, you’re asking for all sorts of trouble there. Still it looks nice on google streetview. Any luck selling your house melv?
Our trainers always give a brief CV of what they did in the real police world before telling us about things that don’t matter in the police world.
Then they put their heads down and plough through whatever new system or legislation the management want us to know, regardless of our questions about how it can be done, why it is relevant and how they will get around the fact that something is pointless.
Most Ruralshire training is us doing it for ourselves, on flip charts, with the hapless trainers as ‘facilitators’, which is code for ‘I haven’t a clue what I’m teaching’. Most are simply after qualifications, paid for by the job, which they can use to supplement their pension by teaching when they retire.
Ha! Snap – or by silly games that irritate you enough that you ignore whatever stupid point the trainer was trying to make.
Why they think that grown adults who make life and death decisions every day need to be handled like 5yr olds to take anything in is quite beyond me.
To understand the role of a “facilitator”, google “abuse of Delphi Technique”. There used to be a good summary of this in the Wikipedia article on the Delphi Technique, but it mysteriously disappeared-can’t imagine why.
In brief, “facilitators” are “change agents”-they are trained to “guide” the group of participants to acceptance of a predetermined agenda, while the participants are fooled into thinking that they came to it by their own free will-and therefore go out and support the agenda in their normal work environment.
They are also trained to identify, isolate and neutralize anyone who might be a potential trouble-maker or who could act as a rallying-point for resistance against the predetermined agenda. That is the reason why you are split up into small groups for different “activities”, with the facilitators moving from group to group to make sure that all are all progressing in the “right” direction. More importantly, the participants in the small groups are changed repeatedly precisely to ensure that resistors do not have the opportunity to “gang-up” on the facilitators.
See:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001720.cfm
and
http://www.nogw.com/documents/_07_defeating_delphi.pdf
for examples of how to resist being swallowed by this particular snake.
For those with an academic bent, I can recommend Beverly Eakman’s book The Cloning of the American Mind (not an easy read).
Sorry “abuse of delphi technique” brings up its use with drug-abusers.
Try “resist delphi technique”.
One word – tenure.
It’s important that real coppers teach the recruits about real police work. But after even one year knowledge is out if date and policy has changed. So, 18 months or two years max.
What REALLY annoys ms is the assumption by some trainers that they will just slot nicely into a teaching job upon retirement. If they can’t educate the youths on the street when wearing a uniform (perhaps why they’re at training school) then how do they think they’ll teach at a secondary modern / academy? They’ve only got a bloody diploma anyway (paid for by the job, when I couldn’t even get a stinger course for my team) – most teachers these days have degrees! Christ, ‘training’ eager probationers who fear being sacked for uttering a the word ‘scroat’ for fear of being binned is a lot different to a spotty little shite throwing his books around the room whilst listening to an iPod and similating oral sex on prit-stik!
End of rant… for now!!
Do you think I highlighted the fear of sacking / binning enough! Oops!
Simulating oral sex on a Pritt Stick??? LOL
Maybe they are practising for a career in HQ!!!
Tenure? But all that happens is they extend it and extend it.
In our force they have scrapped tenure completely so that they can keep people with the right skills in the right job…
Someone must be living in lala land if they think we’ll fall for that.
If recruitment has been put on freeze for so long, what exactly are the recruitment department doing now then?
Our force alledges that they are now dealing with specials applications, but surely they were doing that before as well as regular ones? So now they are doing the same job but with less work? Yet our response teams are stripped to the minimum staffing level at all times and we are parading 4 on a friday night shift in an inner city.
Only reached minimum? We’re on ‘critical’ now!!
I`m a civvy (of course) but my take is that the demands from the street, on a street copper, haven`t changed that much in 100 years.
Only now all the clubbing, puking, pissing in the street and prostitution is called the ‘night time economy’. Noise, breaking stuff, being a twat is now ‘anti-social behaviour’.
Politics has changed a lot, the media has changed a lot (hence the U.S. President having to pass comment on a Pastor who, 20 years ago, nobody would have ever hear about.). You can`t ignore political correctness in the mix either, and those who say it`s harmless well meaning common-sense should go and do their homework and get real. PC, diversity, “every sperm is sacred”. The 21st century cold war with policing forced to carry the flag.
These are the things that have broken policing. Demands of reality are the same as they ever were, the societal response has got screwed up by mixed messages, new-fangled social experiments and constant re-inventing the wheel (under new packaging).
If police training departments, staffed by police, are so dangerously out of step with reality, what hope is there for the senior officers in the ACPO corridor who move is entirely different pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-political, celebrity culture circles?
My greatest fear is that the 25% cuts won`t mean stripping back all the bullsh*t and doing only what is needed, it`ll mean KEEPING a large part of the career enhancing, P.R. friendly, stats-cuddling nonsense – and losing the streets to the criminals.
I havent seen any reduction in the crap. just in the staff able to do it.
I wish policing was the same as 100 years ago.
Then we could deal with crime, instead of people missing every day from govt care homes who are out with mates. People with serious mental health issues let out of secure units to pop to shops for more fags, guarding political locations that have never been targeted, but might and it might look bad so lets go pre-emptive , on an empty building. Not being trusted to make a sensible decision and having to fight tooth and nail to do the right thing instead of the statistical thing.
(referencing the cryptic article title)
One o’ th’ cross-beams has gone out o’ skew on treadle.
To those of you who worry about the sick and the lame
Lets turn the clock back 30 odd years-Control full of cops who got injured on duty-either RTAs assaults or just plain old age
catching up with them but using their policing experience to keep the lid on things.
Those who want to be coppers will be still be coppers-I have had people on my shift who were offered office jobs as they had genuine illness and injuries-they all wanted to stay on the team and do police work-then you had the shift wanker who would come sidling into the office saying with a voice drizzled with olive oil “OOh Sarge if PC X doesnt want that job I would mind having a pop at it” To which this Sarge replied with a voice splattered in malt vinegar-”Well in that case you can come back in 20 years when you have done as much as PCX and get your helmet on you are foot patrol for the rest of the week”-provided it was winter of course!
The ones that need to be targeted are those that are not willing to make a contribution to policing at the sharp end
either by giving them ill health pensions or preferably getting rid of then by UPP .
As I have said before they all come eventually.Revenge is dish best eaten cold-ENJOY.
Police officers in the Control Room (or Police Customer Contact Centre)? There’s novel idea? Next thing you’ll be suggesting is Station Sgts on the radio telling patrols to do as they are told!
And while we are at it-perhaps we should use the hiatus to review police recruitment and training so we dont end up with people who are frightened to go out after dark and know the law are able to apply it and can tell the difference between right and wrong.
You remind me of a regular I worked with one day. I had forgotten whatever Act and Section I should have known and got an earful from higher up. My chum said “I don’t know all them Acts and Sections either……………but I know dishonesty when I see it..so I nick ‘em and then let the clever guys figure out what applies………..” Good thief taker too, and saved my morale that day.
Guv,
This might be of interest. I did an analysis of the HMIC data, producing a report that shows how many numbers are engaged in each function. Can’t think why no one at HMIC wanted to list the numbers in a table… perhaps it makes the targets for “return to response duties” too visible?
It does make you wonder why so many Chiefs are bleating about how the frontline will face cuts when there seems to be so much resource otherwise engaged. Could it be an ACPO level smokescreen to deflect from their nefarious activities over pas years? If they can focus public/media attention on the frontline costs, it detracts from their Chief Officer bonuses, profligate spending, empire building and mis management of manpower.
Not sure how well the columns will display in wordpress when posted. They were fine when pasting this end.
As you can see there are 3393 officers engaged in training roles, with another 2330 civvies.
Officers Staff Total
Community 63,845 17,659 81,504
Roads Policing 5,719 1,113 6,832
Specialist Functions 6,443 1,633 8,076
Investigation 25,478 3,924 29,402
Intelligence 5,448 4,232 9,680
Forensics 232 4,534 4,766
Op Support 6,075 12,052 18,127
Control Room 2,539 11,566 14,105
Criminal Justice 2,382 9,262 11,644
Custody 2,641 2,594 5,235
Business Support 2,490 19,883 22,373
Training 3,393 2,330 5,723
Other 10 3,446 3,456
Local Policing 126,695 94,228 220,923
National Functions 8,791 2,947 11,738
Not Available Duty 8,363 1,529 9,892
Total Workforce 143,849 98,704 242,553
In case the columns print out of alignment, I have created a source document where anyone can see the breakdown of function numbers by force and the totals listed above.
http://www.theftprotect.co.uk/library/justice/Where%20are%20the%20police%20v1.xls
The HMIC/Home Office categorise the departments and functions as per the list below. The spreadsheet also contains a full definition description list of each function.
Community
*Community Safety
*Response
*Neighbourhoods
*Roads Policing
Traffic
*Traffic Wardens
Investigation
*Burglary
*Child/Sex/Domestic
*Criminal Investigation Department
*CID Specialist Crime Unit
*Drugs
*Fraud
*Hate Crime
*H.O.L.M.E.S.
Forensics
*Fingerprints
*Photographs
*Scenes Of Crime
Intelligence
*Intelligence Only
Control Room
*Control Room Only
Criminal Justice
*Criminal Justice Units Only
Custody
*Custody Only
Specialist Functions
*Air
*Dogs
*Firearms (Tactical & Explosives)
*Asset Confiscation
*Marine
*Mounted
*Surveillance Unit
*Technical Support Unit
*Underwater
*Vehicle Crime
*Vice
Operational Support
*ACPO & Directors
*Coroners Officer
*Criminal Records Office
*Crime & Incident Management
*Departmental Heads
*Drivers
*Enquiry/Station
*Local Commanders
*Operational Planning
*Property
*Staff Officers
*Vehicle workshop/fleet
Business Support
*Complaints & Discipline
*Corporate Development
*Finance
*IT / Communications / Audio
*Other admin/clerical
*Personnel / HR
*Press and public relations
*Staff associations
*Operational Planning
*Welfare / Occupational Health
Training
*Training Only
Other
*Catering
*Building & Stores Supplies
It would be interesting to hear readers comments about the allocation of resources in light of your article. From the numbers it looks like training is not the only department where sick notes will start to emerge. Not knowing the individial force needs, its hard for us to comment on whether an allocated number of resources to a department is justified or not.
At least it will tell you how many parking spaces are being taken up at nicks all round the country by the non response departments!
Hoping it provokes some comment, I’d be interested to hear what you/your readers observe from the numbers.
Great post IG.
Best wishes
Steve Thin Blue Line UK
If anyone wants to see the full report (Not just the numbers) I have reprinted the link below:-
http://www.theftprotect.co.uk/library/articles/WhereAreAllThePoliceOfficers.pdf
Comments and observations welcome.
Steve B – Thin Blue Line UK
Retired West Mids Copper
The “PMIT / Quest” model has ensured that our HUB now has 14 PCs in it rather than 3.
We now have 9 crime evaluators/investigation review officers rather than 3.
I have a feeling the stats above are somewhat dubious and the above Officers feature as front line strength when clearly they are not.
Quest has also given us 11 Officers per shift rather than 16.
MC
Thanks for the feedback. The numbers were drawn from the individual force profile data published by HMIC curently on their website at
http://www.hmic.gov.uk/PolicePerformance/Pages/Valueformoneyprofiles.aspx
I went into each force’s profile and extrapolated the data for each function into the spreadsheet you have seen.
This data is collated from submitted numbers from individual forces, (supposedy from Quest returns) so there may be changes since it was last updated (March 2010)
Interestingly, a new spreadsheet of data has now appeared on the website which wasn’t there when I did my report. However, it still does not provide the split of officers by function as our report has done.
http://www.hmic.gov.uk/SiteCollectionDocuments/Value%20for%20Money/VFM_DAT_20100609.xls
A paragraph on the site is worth noting….
Treat large differences with caution
In producing the profiles we have noticed that for some forces, possibly because they are organised quite differently from others, there are significantly more staff in one function, which is often offset by significantly fewer staff in another function. We have noticed this in the figures for some forces, for example for the custody and criminal justice unit functions. Caution is needed where you spot these patterns. It may be that the two functions need to be considered together. An alternative explanation is that custody staff numbers are low because the function has been contracted out or in other cases, custody staff are drawn from staff working in the community. Where this occurs it is hard to identify without further work.
I did pick up on the frontline strength number issue and have reported on it in some detail in the full report and a previous report following FOI requests made of the forces. In addition we prepared report that tries to strip away the non response numbers to get to a more accurate picture
http://www.theftprotect.co.uk/library/articles/Police%20Visible%20Strength%20AnalysisJuly%202010.PDF
The numbers are mere headlines. What I was trying to get to with the report was the reality behind the numbers… how many officers were really involved in response duties. The HMIC report that came out later about officer visibility was I believe, closer to the real picture on that score than the overall grouping numbers suggest.
All that resource to keep the clink full of 80,000 residence at 50 k a year.
Top Management better take another MBA course, 2 Coppers for one tea leaf bagged.
Four and a half million in forensics? Not in our force. It is 100 percent civillianised.
No, it means 232 officers, 4,534 civvie, 4,766 total. The columns have been moved by WordPress (I think).
Spot on Andy.
The source document (pages 1 & 2) display it better at :
http://www.theftprotect.co.uk/library/justice/Where%20are%20the%20police%20v1.xls
or alternatively the full written report can be viewed from the link in my post as at 10:13 above.
All the best
Steve
Community? be that PCSO’s ? or are they in another category.
There should be three more documents,
same categories, one for wages for each of those bodies [cubicles], another broken down to the number of ranks in each category column ,
and then the total budget allocated to each of those little boxes..
?
Criminal justice category? is the same group that files all reports into maybes and file 13 as unsuitable.
note: more bodies in the control room than in custody tagging bad guys. Custody emplos the same no as Training. Bet wage scales be uneven too.
I got a massive blocking for calling a ‘student officer’ a sprogg…
I told him that the word sprogg is a real word used in the Navy to define a new boy as opposed to the ‘FNG’ or ‘Cnut’ we used…
When I was a SPROGG we arrived at 0530hrs to get the tea on for the shift and it was dished out in this order:
Gaffer, Cust Srg, Shift Srgs, civvie front office, (into parade room) area car drivers, panda drivers and then us walkers…
We STOOD UP when the gaffer came into the room (I still do sad man that I am) and presented our ‘appointments’ and PNB for signing…
On Sunday we stayed in plain clothes and cooked the sausage and bacon sandwiches (and tea of course) for the shift breakfast. Then we washed the patrol cars.
By the time we had finished it was about 1200 hrs or so, we made one more round of tea and went home early.
Sounds like slavery, but it built a TEAM and people work better in teams. The shift was run with a stick but… when it went pear-shaped everyone was there for each other because we cared.
I really miss those days.
Shijuro, you have just described the first eight years of my career. And what great ones they were. And then 1997 happened. Meh.
Sounds like the first year of mine…..and I was the only probie for 3 months, and did either breakfast, curry or a full roast, alone, depending on what day/time our last shift fell!
Mind you that was back in the day that stations had kitchens and bars.
Oh happy days…
Back in 1996 when I started the gaffer would check your PNB every set of shifts.
No-one has checked my PNB for over 5 years.
Gaffer – Check every set of shifts ??????
You saw a Gaffer on shifts!!!!!?
Where else would any self-respecting Gaffer be? ……
… then I fell about the floor, wet myself in an ‘irony-related incident’ and commenced a list …
Soon to be a lot less at the GMP:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-11270472
Less Indians: More chiefs ?
When nature decides to economize, it usually gets rid of the dead wood and the underbrush first, ash makes for good fertilizer.
Harsh but surely all the “W*****s, skivers, those that be found sleeping on the job, [ opportunities for MTG ] should be the first to go, but I guess not, they are usually the ones that know how to lard up the decision maker as they are protected by their PC ” rites ”
Every Organization have “superfluous” flotsam, but if the myopic “leadership” cut the meat and bone and leave the lard, then ?? if the business model were followed, they could understand that a business that keeps the non producer, then business gets bankrupted and then the product is made elsewhere, thus when you phone 999, help will come from Kerala with advice on using a tourniquet.
I had a cracking time at training school 7 years ago…at least I came out of there with a working knowledge of law and didn’t have the option of refusing to be deployed to something like a domestic “because I haven’t got to that bit of the book yet” like the whole in house training that occurs on division. Sigh.
If you’re wearing the uniform out in public, be prepared to deal with whatever is thrust your way.
Rest days this weekend tho!
I had one trainer for something unmemorable who went into great effort to point out that she’d be out on the streets, then moved to domestic violence, then somewhere else, then somewhere else etc etc…. I worked it out that from what she said she’d done two years as a cop. The rest of her 28years had been spent in non-jobs.
Guv
Xmas is coming, how about some t-shirts and stuff please.
I’m working on the new tees as we speak – watch this space…
There’s a lot of arse twitching at our nick within the PDU. The prospect of trainers going back on the streets is frightening for some. They’ve even suggested that to keep the team together they should form a plain clothed proactive unit. Shift numbers at peak times are struggling to keep up demand for the public confidence calls never mind the A grades which aren’t getting covered. This puts demands on us traffic units which are going to more and more domestics and ASB calls. I haven’t got a problem with this per se, I like nicking people anyway but it grips my shit that ‘trainers’ are suggesting forming elitist teams rather than going back to front line policing to help us out.
HMIC state that 11% of jobs in the police are not needed. From what I hear on here it more like 25%
No shit Sherlock !
The 11% are needed, just back on the street with the rest of us so that we can have some annual leave.
Don`t anybody kid themselves, the trainer types will always be protected, they are usually part of the inner sanctum, that is how most of them got there in the first place, you know them, the ones that went telling tales of their colleagues mishaps,allowing their SMT to work day shifts because they were being informed of the shifts comings and goings by these twats, you watch, generally they won`t suffer at all.
Here in North America we have a steady rotation into and out of patrol. I have recently been to routine calls with a former:
- Homicide detective
- Blood spatter expert
- Gang detective
- Officer safety expert
- School Liaison Officer
- Forensic officer
- Surveillance officer
All have been able to apply their very specific previous skills to domestics, common assaults, thefts, shoplifting etc and this makes for a very interesting experience.
Dave – Proves the argument for an applied ‘Tenure of posting’.
Great post about the training department. My personal beef if PC’s coming out of training as Sergeants. How do they get the evidence for the part 2 sitting in a classroom all day? There is no reward for being front-line and when you tell your supervisors you are happy with your lot at PDR development time they look at you as if you have two heads!
I also agree strongly about the general poor quality of new recruits.Not all of them obviously before that angers people! They lack confidence in dealing with difficult situations and are very quick to “challenge” the slightest imagined insult by us older cops.
My training unit will stay intact as they are training the influx of specials instead of proper probationers. If you think probationers are griefy…..wait until the specials get used all the time to fill the recruitment gap.
ACPO are scare-mongering again. “Christmas for criminals”
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/Crime-Police-warn-of-39Christmas.6526041.jp
I must say that the impression I got from reading this, and other, police blogs was that the Association of Chief police officers was the problem, not the solution.
What do the rank and file think of the scare-mongering?
I seem to recall Inspector Gadget saying many times that the problem is not the numbers of police, but what they are all actually doing. And what they are actually doing comes from government edict and the statistic chasing Chief police officers.
Is this wrong?
Will the cuts be a field day for crims?
That’s actually the Federation – who represent the rank and file.
The cuts that have already hit us are affecting crime-fighting as we speak. In my BCU overtime is almost non-existent, meaning that bodies nick in the waning hours of each shift have to be handed over to CID – except they’re short themselves, work skeleton shifts at night and don’t have any overtime either.
Any way you look at it, crims are getting away with it – either because cases aren’t properly investigated, or because the streets are empty of patrolling plod who are sitting indoors writing out casefiles.
Well the Farce that I’ve just retired from – West Mercia – has also doubled the number of officers in my time – that’s not including CSOs – plus an army of civilians to ‘assist’ the officers (?????!).
Also since I joined – apart from DHQs virtually no other divisional station covers 24/7 – apart from which, even when they are manned, there’s often only 1 or 2 oficers on response!
So – double the officers – where is that Black Hole?
Last?
Fail
Strangely I was never selected to be a street duties tutor as a PC but always had the new probs put out with me on team ? I often wonder why …
The standard of new recruits is poor to say the least .. The OCU street duties course halved to 5 weeks and became more of a tick 20 boxes exercise. The ex PCSO’s seem to be OK and anybody new .. we are failing them.
I look back when I hit Division and I could have completed a file from day 1 – and that’s before the 10 week induction.
I do actually look forward to welcoming all ex training staff and office dwellors back to response – anybody with 2 arms and legs will do – we’ve had our 25% cuts already thanks ……..
Some of you have mentioned that your training units are justifying their existence because of the influx of specials. Correct me if I am wrong but when I did my specials training it was at weekend. What do these training units do during the week? Do they then get overtime for weekends? Our training was a heavily watered down version of the regulars training. Therefore there wont be as much preparation for the courses.
In the words of Spandau Ballet – ‘To cut a long story short’ – how do they justify employing FULL TIME training staff?
There will be databases and spreadsheets to complete of the Specials Training – action plans, targets and performance matricies to compile.
There will have to be trainers meetings where tasks are agreed and dished out, emails to compile to supervisors and pdps to complete….graphs and charts of development, kit to order etc etc..
There – have I made enough bureaucracy out of a simple task.
Even the Cavemen realised thousands of years ago that sitting in a cave compiling statistics in the form of numerous drawings of sabre toothed tigers, woolly mammoths and deer was far far easier and safer than actually going out and killing one.
Tis why there be bones in the cave, starved to death.
Blimey…1966..Peel House… Ch. Supt was a pig named Tommy Tompkins.
Most of today’s newbies wouldn’t know what had hit them…I’m not sure I did either.
Bang on with this one Guv. I remember when Hendon did Operation Longboat, putting trainee’s in their last two weeks out with their instructors on a borough for a day. Just finished my probation when they bought a load out and a skipper who ran my course (and was a total tool) was out and about. He nicked someone as a “this is how you do it” learning experience for his wet behind the ear class. Suspects standing in the custody area (not cuffed) and produces a lock knife from a trouser pocket places it on the custody desk and says “Suppose you’d want that then?” Custody Sergeant says something along the lines of “Why the fuck wasn’t he searched and why isn’t he in cuffs?” to one of the pupils, Training Sgt pipes up with “Well there was no justification he’s only Whiskey Mike, can’t do a section 1″ with a smug look.” Custody skipper replies “Never heard of section 32 you cunt? Leave the probationer to book him in,your fuck all use”.
All bar two of my instructors had the same air of “not a clue what to do in the real world” about them. Now with about 6 years in I can see it was a fair assessment.
Classic !
Descartes mentions in “discourse on method” .
he of “I think, therefore I am”
“… as soon as my age permitted me to pass from under the control of my Instructors I entirely abandoned the study of letters…”
“…I had always a most earnest desire to know how to distinguish the true from the false…”
School is an exercise in regurgitating one mans brainwashing and becoming a clone.
Cogito ergo sum
I remember in my class at Ashford you had officers scoring 10% or less on knowledge checks and not much better at exam time. They would say “I am just not good at exams” to the training staff who show great sympathy and support “Exam marks dont matter” etc. Those officers then passed out out from Ashford returned to Suffolk, Essex or Kent and got asked to resign not long after.
I recall our beloved trainer giving us a lesson in diversity and nicknames. They were informing us that nicknames were a form of bullying. Now being a bit older and wiser when i joined, I had no issue with making the tea, doing the shit jobs, TCR’s, banal enquiries et al. I was affectionatley given the title of Shift Bitch – and to be fair I was a good bitch and I learnt a lot because I started at the bottom.
Anyway, back in the Training Session they asked if anyone had been given a nickname, so naturally I raise my hand. Gosh they were horrified. It went down hill when they asked what it was. They just couldn’t see past the fact that I didn’t really mind, didn’t feel bullied or oppressed, felt part of the team and by my own admission, made the best tea on shift and was all in all a good bitch.
Echoing others comments, this sort of thing really built the team and it stood me in good stead to where I am now and I am proud of it.
Sounds familiar. I fondly recall having to make the tea, cook food, wash the cars every Sunday (once in just my bundies and PSU boots mid-January as a bet), old sweats stealing my Bank Holidays, my packed lunch (Tupperware and all) regularly being microwaved into sludge while at a call, and on one wonderful occasion returning from two weeks in Greece to find my locker upside down in the yard with a dead rabbit hanging off my tunic. Said rabbit had been run over by the divisional van ten days earlier and smelled delightful.
Bullying? No, character building. We were a team. I ended up doing similar things to all of them.
Happy days.
I am a retired cop, now working for a local authority on investigative work. When I begun this job a few years back, I was allocated an investigation where a Community Safety P.c. was a witness. I asked him for a Section 9 witness statement and he looked at me then said, “I am not sure how to write a statement, I haven’t done one for about four years.” – He had only been in the job for about 10 years.
I get to work with police officers from the local Roads Polcing Unit – a really motivated bunch of guys and girls. They tell me all the sycophants in non frontline posts have been told that they’ll soon be going back to policing on the streets – God help us.
I was working with the local authority, on an operation with a Neighbourhood Policing Team (N.P.T.), when I had grounds to suspect that a considerable amount of shiny new metal frames, being taken to a scrap metal dealer, was stolen. I told the N.P.T. officer, who had all the tenacity of a dead slug. He brushed my suspicions aside.(I only have 30+ years experience in street policing and the C.I.D.).
The next day I phoned the owner of the metals, who confirmed that the person taking the metals to the ‘scrappy’ had no right or authority to take it there; i.e. it was nicked. The aggrieved e-mailed me confirming this and I forwarded it to the N.P.T. officer……..to this day I’ve not been given any feedback on what occurred after that. I suspect if was nothing was done.
As for trainers / facilitators – in my day they were often the ones that made it into the senior management, yet had little experience of real policing. That’s probably why policing the length and breadth of the U.K. has deteriorated so much.
Ironically, trainers used to say, “I hear I forget, I see I remember, I do I understand.” The problem is, I don’t think they will ever understand.
Sums up management, all words and no action.
no can do, no can teach, nowt about preaching but dothe know how to sign check the B**** L****.
Hey gadget, I am sure you and i work for the same organisation even though I know we dont.
oh and ditto on the Chrissy gifts
TiredSkipper
Guv
Xmas is coming, how about some t-shirts and stuff please.
I should get my spending tokens from the missus soon.
‘spending tokens from the missus’ LOL
Working on the new style tees as we speak – watch this space!
In the meantime, you can get a SCRAP THE PLEDGE NOW wristband here
http://inspectorgadget.webs.com/apps/webstore/products/show/1710503
Training went wrong when residential courses at places like Ryton was binned for local, cheap, crap.
Ryton? I hear that was a wonderful place and very much like a cross between police academy and a knocking shop.
Those who can , can…those who can’t train.
I joined the job after 18 yrs in the forces , 10 years as a screw , my trainers were politically correct tossers,I still thank my home force colleagues who sat next to me in class and poked me in the ribs when ever I was going to say something,,thanks graham and simon.
I remember one trainer spent all her time in training about 7 yrs ,and went from PC to Super in 10. WTF !!!
Total waste of time about as much common dog fuck as a garden slug.
Excopnz – So many people in training seemed to get promoted to positions beyond their capabilities. I loved your expression, ‘common dog fuck’, I hadn’t heard that since I left H.M. Forces in the 70s.
For some unkown reason these sycophants manage to bamboozle those at the top, with their Orwellian double speak and so called political correctness. It’s all ballocks and the lunatics seem to have taken over the asylum….
Human weakness, the ability to like one’s clones only, tis why gangs work, humans seek others endorsements and fail to use their own brain.
As one “Sarg” mentioned earlier, they always seek guidance even when they know the correct answer, they do not trust their mind/brain.
School should never be about becoming a trained seal and clap flippers, should be about polishing the talents that lie dormant in the grey matter.
‘Tis why Advertisements are so successful, no thinking required.
As long is possible people will take the easiest path to eating well, it just plain survival, short term gain versus long time pain.
We too have this this in our force excopnz, theres a pc (ha ha, I always chuckle when these trainers still call themselves officers) thats been in training for over ten years. We had a transferee as a sgt who made pips whilst in training and then we had to put up with him in our nick, hes also been an ops room insp and an on call insp – hes f**kin useless because he went from training to controlling frontline without working it so knows f**kall apart from what he read in his books. He took a complaint against me which should have been binned there and then as it was just crap and I got written up for it. I dont think hes ever laid hands on or used his cuffs since joining our force.
People in training should only do it for at most a year before having to do frontline shift work for six months then they can go back and actually teach something to our new fish coming through. We are getting new officers through that cant deal with anything as theyve been taught by trainers and not had time on the frontline its all been cherry picking jobs, getting off on time and dealing with one job and then switching off their radios. being a former tutor it was different they had their class time where they learnt law and we taught them how to use it when they came to us and we did everything that a pc would do – its a joke and weve had a few new pc’s leave because they cant take the job, because its such a shock.
We’re just waiting for news on cuts in our forces – hantspol have already humped 1400 anybody else heard yet???
We had exactly that on our old team, had a guy who handed his notice in literally the next set of shifts after doing his first nights weekend. After 6 months of kid gloves and nicey nicey on an snt he came to us. He looked knackered after doing two 14 hour day shifts, then by the time he finished three 12 hour nights on an admittedly busy response team he looked like he’d been skull fucked by a train. He was the first person I’d seen jack it in so quickly after getting the boot in the face that is the reality of response policing, but I know of a few more who were ground down and let down by the job.
In response to ‘I pay your wages’, ‘Frustrated P.S.’ said,
“Typical suit attitude, just because some PC’s stay on repsonse team for their entire service does not mean that they are not capable of doing anything else, they might just love the role…..
It could be said that officers end up in CID because they cant handle the streets! I have got rid of several officers from response and put them in CID roles (after unsuccesful attempts to get them out altogether) because they were an absolute liability / bloody useless on the street.”
Now, now guys – you are supposed to be part of a big team not going for one another’s throats. I spent most of my career as a ‘woodentop’ – on response, as you now call it. I also did six years in C.I.D. I enjoyed both roles, but overall I guess uniform patrol was more exciting.
The best job I ever had was as a Skipper in charge of a street crime team, where we did duties in uniform and civvies. We dealt with assaults, drugs, public order etc. and our bosses left us to our own devices as long as we got loads of arrests.
I remember there were both good and bad folk in uniform and C.I.D. Nowadays however I find there are many cops lacking in tenacity, but then I’ve seen a good number who are as good as any I saw in my 30 years in the job – they’ve developed notwithstanding the poor levels of training that has occurred under the guaidance of the so called National Police Improvement Agency….what improvement?
But the problem is, the leadership of the police is silent on the subject of whether applicants for CID / Promotion / Other need have bee excelled in their 24/7 or neighbourhood role, or whether it is acceptable to recruit our DCs and Sgts from ‘average’ uniform officers.
Most officers assume, that to have been allowed to specialise implies an organisational declaration that you are good at what you do, hence you may investigate more serious stuff or supervise other officers. I’m not sure the organisation is saying that. How many times have we seen incompetent and ineffective PCs promoted or allowed to specialise? Too may times for it to be cooincidence.
24/7 Insp. Your comments are alarming. It used to be that officers got into specialist roles / promotion, because they had a good arrest record / detection rate on the street. Of course I understand there has always been an element of nepotism or cronyism…it was ever thus.
Those who are selected for specialist departments, or get promoted and aren’t up to the job, usually flounder and obviously get sussed out by their colleagues.
Ufortunately senior management don’t want it to be seen they have made a faux pas, on selecting the wrong people and so let those who struggle remain in post. That’s not good for the officer, but it is especially not any good for the organisation.
I am definitely not racist, or sexist, however we have all seen people from ethnic minorities or females promoted because of management policies on diversity. It should of course, be the best person for the role, not because the candidate is from an ethnic minority or female…..I know I will be preaching to the converted to many of those who contribute to this blog. If Senior Management don’t acknowledge this, then as often occurs, they are being less than honest.
Big Arse (Sorry Hugh Janus),
Believe me and 24/7 – the industrious, most effective officers DON’T get promoted or go specialist roles? They joind the job to do POLICING and that is and will always be front-line RESPONSE.
I’m not necessarily denegrating other roles – but the problem is – the perception is that a career PC is a bit of a failure (apart from in the eyes of his ‘customers’). He is generally up to date with legislation, local intelligence, procedures etc – he/she has to be, unlike their posturing, pompous peers and supervisors who aren’t worth their weight in brass washers.
We should scrap the majority of the ‘specialist roles’ and police officers in the rank above inspector. We should revert to big uniform shifts and take any necessary extractions from them as the need arises and then they return.
We replace the chinless wonders above inspector with civilian managers (pay them less – at least they might have some idea on man management – and they’ll have the same knowledge level – all theory / no practical).
Job done – effective ground level policing and money saved at the same time – I should be the Chancellor!
Hotfuzz – I am the first to recognise I have a large ‘big end’….however I don’t necessarily agree with all of your views.
Gadget, 24/7 and other supervisors that submit to this blog can’t all be bad in their role. I also think that somewhere out there there are some good senior managers. My first Superintendent was ex-S.B.S. and he was really ace. I also recall a Chief Inspector who used to come out on nights and nick trouble makers – problem was he used to wind them up first!
I don’t doubt there are some Police Constables who are good at their job and remain in that role for their entire career. However there used to be good blokes (and girls) on the drugs squad, C.I.D. et al as well.
I did most of my 30 years in uniform and on the street, apart from 6 yrs in C.I.D. and an enforced six months as the Sgt. in a CJU before getting back to the street as a uniform Insp.
I also recall some total numbskulls in uniform who remained in the role for 30 yrs. I guess there were good and bad in all posts.
I do agree however that there are too many unnecessary police posts above the rank of Inspector. Most of these are in ‘non jobs’ and the public probably wouldn’t notice if they were cut back.
Hugh,
I do agree with you and was perhaps generalising a bit. However, my sentiments probably relate more to the newer breed (or inbreed). I did have some decent gaffers at all levels – but they were in the minority and could be best described as remembering what the job was really about.
Please don’t think of me as so arrogant or bigotted as to think that the only good coppers were on shift – but I could never acclimatise to long periods with the majority of tossers accumulating in other departments.
The problem by contributing to blogs is the tendency to generalise. I’m not saying that all specialist / supervisory officers are shit, after all I am one!
Nor is it true to say that everyone on the shift with more than 10years service is too incompetent to do anything else.
One of the most impressive police officers I’ve ever met is now a 25yr service response officer and apart from 8years doing surveillance work (highly specialised) has been an area car driver throughout his career. He taught me and many other probationers how to police after we survived the vaugeries of police training and tutor constables.
He walks with the air of a Chief Constable and to this day is entitled to just as much respect, if not more (depending who your chief is!).
It is not out of order, though, to say that some specialist / supervisory officers are there because they couldn’t hack it and sought escape from the honour of being a frontline 24/7 police officer. Other specialist / supervisory officers (I’d like to count myself as one of them) sought those roles because they felt they could contribute more to the organisation and the public from the specialist work they could do or from the leadership they could offer.
My final point, is over the duration of my service, there are ever fewer in that category. 24/7 frontline policing should be the most respected part of police work, end of.
I agree with this completely. It was always my plan to do ten on response, ten specialising and the the last ten going for promotion. I’ve got no interest at the moment in doing my skippers although I do act up for certain things, my chosen skill set is bloody hard if you do it properly and bloody dangerous if you do it wrong, but at the moment it constitutes about half my time. The rest of it we’re putting jobs together and making shitbags lives a misery, which is nice.
I’m glad for all the experiences that response gave me (even the horrific ones) but I’ll be the first to admit that yen years of it had started grinding away at me in a way I didn’t like. I loved the work, just not the politics and being treated like a mong by skippers with considerably less service and experience than me or most of the other people on team. One guy came to us after being on a training unit for a year (with two years in before that) and didn’t know what a S.60 was for crying out loud, and he was supposed to lead us??
Response should be completely professionalised with all the resources and funding that go with being the hardest job in policing, not seen by people who can’t handle it as nothing more than the shit end of the stick for people who can’t do anything else.
IG mentioned “they are the experts” – as in;
Ex = has been
Spurts = drips under pressure.
BTW – what’s new about being ‘senior on the shift’ with only 2 years in? In Nearly-Metroland circa 1968 that was quite common on nights – especially if we had PCs at Court the next day
another version of Expert.
ex as in
has been
pert as in
boldly forward in speech or behavior; impertinent; saucy\\or
— adj
1. saucy, impudent, or forward
2. jaunty: a pert little hat
3. obsolete clever or brisk
then it be
saucy has been
My mate has got a PhD and he told me about advice his old man gave him, they day he got his PhD … (his old man has a PhD, too):
“An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing”.
I’ve also heard it say, “If you keep sticking your head up your arse, eventually you won’t be able to see what’s going on around you.”
Both valid ……
“…The cuts that have already hit us are affecting crime-fighting as we speak. In my BCU overtime is almost non-existent, meaning that bodies nick in the waning hours of each shift have to be handed over to CID – except they’re short themselves, work skeleton shifts at night and don’t have any overtime either….”
The cuts are affecting the front line because of decisions made by your management. The fact is, there will be cuts across the whole of the public sector. How those cuts are implemented lie with your management. In your example they have decided to make the restriction of overtime a higher priority than the removal of (insert useless department here). It is a decision, not an accident.
It would appear by reading this blog for a while there is a fair amount of fat to go before front line policing should be directly affected. If and it is a big if your management have the courage to do so.
For any Government to allow Senior Management in any bureaucracy to decide where the cuts are going to fall is like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop.
That’s the whole point, Not A Cop, and what we’ve been saying on here for so long – management (and in particular ACPO) are empire-building self-preservationists, hence the concern that, for example, they’d rather trim response teams than offer up their ‘company vehicles’ for the greater good.
And what are these ‘useless departments’ you refer to? If it’s the overstaffed, email happy beaureaucrats such as the Diversity/HR/Media/ backroom jobbies then I’m with you all the way. But it won’t be those – it’ll be teams that specialise in child protection, sexual offences, drugs… the very teams that have been set up because of previous ‘failings’ that caused a media/public outcry.
If i point out that “turkeys don’t vote for Christmas” do I win a prize for most tired cliche…..?
Indeed, lady, indeed. And thanks for the purchase, by the way. You are my new bestest fwend.
I’m looking forward to reading it!
“If and it is a big if your management have the courage to do so”
Do Turkeys vote for Christmas ?
‘Alfred of Wessex’ said, “For any Government to allow Senior Management in any bureaucracy to decide where the cuts are going to fall is like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop.”
The sentiment is similar to “Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas” illustrated by ‘Officer and a Lady’.
What they mean is, there will be ‘fowl’ play by ACPO and others in Senior Management owing to ‘poultry’ funding.
Seriously if previous experience is anything to go by DO NOT have them back on your shift, the ones that I experienced were an absolute liability. We used to wonder how probationers coped with entry into the real world after being in their incapable hands. We had a female Sgt doing her 6 months on shift before promotion, she was an absolute waste of space when she was there and never there when you needed her. Fortunately she went back into hiding (Training) as an Inspector and good riddance!
@Gary – “a female Sgt . . .she went back into hiding (Training) as an Inspector ”
According to the “Peter Principle”, promotion to a job in another Dept is a valid way to get rid of a useless member of ones own staff.
haha,
Ive experienced all the tasks you have listed and become quite the expert in making tea and completing e learning packages.
I know of one new recruit who was tasked as a wind up by a response sgt to take a “bone” that had been supposedly handed in to the nick to the university to ask them to find out if it was a human bone or an animal bone. Off he trotted with the bone in an evidence bag only to be told by the uni “I think someone’s winding you up mate.”
Made everyone chuckle for ages that one.
Ha, many years ago I was dicked by my Patrol Sergeant to take all the stray dogs in the kennels ‘out for a walk’ including a massive Husky. So, I have five slathering, slobbering, snarling mutts on various bits of string, barking at the other dogs, barking at themselves, the Public and of course me, dragging me round the streets while I try and retain what little dignity I have left.
The most amusing aspect of this was the general public parting before me like the parting of the waves. The rest of the section were lining the windows, peeing themselves.
As they dragged me back into the yard one of the sweats looked at me, smiled and said ‘Now THAT’S what I call a dog handler’ Still makes me chuckle now.
Bring on the cuts!
Welcome back to the job you joined trainers. It’s time to practice what you teach.
Or, if you can’t hack it on the frontline, do us all a favour and piss off. Then we can get some new people in who actually WANT to do this job. Give me 6 eager probationers over 6 useless, un-interested, ‘living in la la land’ HQ’ers any day.
Doctors all over the country will be so busy in the next few months signing off all those sick notes for HQ’ers that are too scared to Police.
But surely, one of the problems is that they’ll piss off and won’t be replaced?
Is it better to have a body than nobody?
Ex trainer came onto our team as a guv’nor and authorised an 18 search of a premises for a person in custody for theft related matters.
Upon conducting a search of the premises the subject’s flatmate was home.
When I found some cannabis in the flat, the flatmate admitted it was his and was dealt with for possession.
This led to a bollocking from the guv’nor as by seizing the drugs I was exceeding the authority of the 18 search which was for items relating to the person in custody.
I didn’t help matters by bursting out in laughter.
Thankfully the ex trainer has since moved on to a HQ role ‘managing’ training.
I’m actually looking forward to getting these donkeys back under my wing……………………….especially those who have sent me clever arsed e-mails about what I’ve been doing wrong!
There is a golden rule for both PC’s and Inspectors.
Do not (unless it absolutely CANNOT be helped) piss the Sergeant off.
Hell hath no fury like a Sergeant scorned. It’s not worth it folks!
(….as recently seen in Wiltshire)
You are ABSOLUTELY right … sergeant is the hardest rank in the police, not just because of custody.
Stalin tried it, got into deep proverbial effluent.
When Management fails to understand or appreciate who really runs the organisation or ship if you like, hell is awaiting.
People need leaders not ghosts, the supernumeraries [pips, crowns and cross truncheons and gold braid] are there for ONE job and one job only- to support the troops.
120 k plus perks can buy 24 hrs of street protection for the silent Majority.
I have come across 2 Inspectors who thought they could piss every Sgt off which they did-till they met me.
One had to retire on a medical as he went wibble the other hit the bottle and spent a lot of time off sick-that one really did piss me off-but now he has cancer and I might be beginning to believe there is a God-not that I bore grudges but as I have said (many times) before-they all come in the end.
Funny, I’ve got a story like that about one of ranks above me … eerily similar.
Sir,
I have to tell you I am beside myself with worry about the points you have raised in your post. I am currently the newest recruit on my team and although my probation ends shortly I will by law have to make the tea until new officers are recruited. This is clearly something the home office didn’t take in to account when demanding that cuts needed to be made. The thought of having to make tea for the next 4 years (3 before they recruit/ 1 year of training school) due to no newbies is making me very sad. It adds a good 10 minutes on to my working day making tea before briefing, not to mention the added stress of managing tea fund payments and supplies. I accepted that it would be another 10 years before I got a standard driving course and thought that there would be a very slim chance of getting taser before I retire but making tea for the next 4 years is something I didn’t prepare myself for. I can only hope Mr Cameron finds a rainbow with a big pot of money at the end of it.
Ha ha brilliant post! I feel your pain, I ended up making tea for two years as the net pro con who joined after me lasted a month and then went sick for the rest of my probation. On his first day back he found the tea key and a list of who had what in his tray, gift wrapped with a little bow.
This principle affects us all, though … get over it. I remember shorlty after promotion to inspector being in a room full of cops with no-one below my rank. They looked around, worked out my pips were fresh and ordered rounds of tea ….. it’s a respect thing. Those people helped me when I started having to do difficult inspector things. Sprog inspectors now get my support if after showing appropriate deference to my experience via hot beverages.
When I was a PC, we used to have a nine year service bloke who would walk though the door every day bellowing “Where’s my tea?” at the top of his voice. One year, the PHLs ended up meaning that all the sprogs did Christmas Day and the experienced PCs did Boxing Day. When he walked in bellowing in the 26th, the old sweat area car driving said, “I was wondering the same fucking thing new boy, get the fucking kettle on.” And he did … appropriate deference shown, reparation made via biscuits for failing to arrive early and make it promptly.
Tea making is a great way of understanding the system, the tea leaves will tell you all about the characters of your little klick , tea unleashes lots of wise words, having been there, got to see and hear more than I would have just standing there waiting for a quick clip of the ear.
Use the time to expand your future.
On the bright side though by the time you’ve been making brews for 4 years they’ll be bloody good. Where are you based?? I’ll transfer, one of the probationers on my team managed to burn water today (or at least tasted like it)
I think the cuts will be a good thing for us. It will mean all the ridiculous back office roles will be scrapped and we might actually get back to basics again!!
NO way
You will be so lucky, skivers know how to lard the managers of resources
Speaking of cuts….
FFS
Just read thinblueline and acpo’s letter and the reduction for-
Public holidays should be 1.5 instead of double- even mcdonalds is double time and day back.
If recalled to duty, pay the actual time worked. Yeah because we all love being called in on days booked with the family and friends being ruined.
Change the police day to remove enhanced pay on bh, rd’s and a/l. OMG.
Seriously. I bet all those 9-5, mon to fri and all bank holidays off acpo types are laughing their socks off.
How can they possibly propose recommendations for fed ranks with fairness.
Sickening. Police family? Not my family.
PC Rathband always has an open door et al, but these acpo writers- nay.
Perhaps the Federation need to return the favour to ACPO and remind the Government of..
(1) Senior Officers Company car perks.
(2) Senior Officers bonuses
(3) Golden Hellos in the form of relocation expenses, school fees for children, long distance commuting costs and the like.
So when they say they will forgoe the bonuses, remember the company car perk is worth £10k+ per year in depreciation, fuel, insurance and servicing costs. The rest of us have to pay for this out of our taxed pay
Manchester Cop
Well said.
You have some pretty powerful data collected there on company car perks etc, combined with all the stuff we have collated on Senior Officer bonuses, there should be some good leverage.
I am in dialogue with Paul McKeever and would be happy to push the point. Nick Herbert and Hugh Order will be at the fringe meetings at the Conservative conference early in October, where I intend to stick my head above the parapet and throw a few hand grenades.
If you have any of your calculations to hand you can either post on here or directly to my e mail, details at the foot of http://thinbluelineuk.blogspot.com (I will preserve anononimity) it may help the cause.
Best regards
Steve
As there are only 20% of the force actually available to police the Citizenry. Then those that makes this immense decision could cut this section and let the citizens police them selves, and then supply robots with truncheons for the pubs, and crowd control, all remotely controlled from the Whitehall 1212.
Seriously though if they cut front line jobs, then for every front line job at 30k they should cut the now not needed support personnel of 3 support jobs.
Every ACPO position costs , 150k /yr +++++, rent at a quid per square yard per month, equipment for said office, heating and air, the savings if spelt out, would be 1/4 mil quids + maintenance of premium space, chair, parking, car, along with his personnel staff to keep his laptop in perfect condition etc., enough monies to house 5 perps. or provide 8 “peace” officers..
The whole scheme is a royal pyramid, when you remove the base ,you must remove the overhang too, else the the pyramid will become inverted.
There was someone on here a while back that claimed a certain ACPO used blues’n'twos to get his kids to school on time through traffic. I’d love to find out who that is, and see one of them abandoned to the self-righteous wrath of Daily Wail readers for once!
OK so it’s in the Mail on Sunday (I didn’t buy it – I read it in a cafe!)
BUT
There is now a danger that there will be a rush by those frightened of the dark to abandon ‘Training Recruits’ to jump on board the Flagship HMS Diversity and we can vent our wrath even more in that direction for scenarios to come.
All of this is really an excuse to post this for all to see and have a despairing laugh at this stupidity:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1311228/Taxpayer-funds-council-adventures-Sindia-Lesbianandgayland.html
I have a mate who is in the training department at our farce. Although he is a mate it has been as funny as hell listening to him crying into his milk. From what he has said it has been like placing rats into a sack and allowing them to fight as they desperately attempt to keep OFF the streets.. Bunch of wan****.
And I thought the picture of the most useless person the police ever trained would be Ian Blair
Spot on, Sarge. LMFAO ……
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-11283408
I assume that if bail has been granted, there must be a pretty good chance the appeal will succeed? I wonder what the basis of the appeal is?
Perhaps there is a different “truth” to all this than was first reported. The Daily Heils campaign of hate and bile, combined with Wiltshire SMTs verbal assassination and abandonment, might have been a bit premature??
Daily Wail – bile and hate, inaccurate and premature character assassination?!
Surely some mistake m’lud?
Talking of the Daily Wail, look who’s chairing one of the police fringe meetings at the Conservative Party Conference
Tuesday 5 October
Politics, Policing & The New Commissioners
Speakers : James Slack, Home Affairs Editor – The Daily Mail (Chair); Nick Herbert MP, Minister of State for Policing and Criminal Justice ; Blair Gibbs, Head of the Crime and Justice Unit – Policy Exchange; Kit Malthouse AM, Deputy Mayor of London – London Assembly; Paul McKeever, Chairman – Police Federation of England and Wales.
Wednesday 6 October
12.30 The Policing Fringe
Speakers : Nick Herbert MP, Minister of State for Policing and Criminal Justice; Sir Hugh Orde, President – Association of Chief Police Officers; Paul McKeever, Chairman – Police Federation of England and Wales; Derek Barnett, President – Police Superintendents’ Association
Any questions you’d like to put to the panel members, fire them on here and I’ll shout them up.
Steve – Thin Blue Line UK
Wouldn’t it be interesting if the Wiltshire Sergeant got off on appeal? What will his SMT have to say after condemning him so quickly after the trial?.I’m sure they were all queueing up to get their face on camera to do that.
Imagine him going back to work!!! Hilarious.
Thjey always do and they never apologise – publicly if at all. They are all bastards!
The ‘paper said it was an appeal against sentence.
What do they know !
Anyway: Have your say.
http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/consultations/policing-21st-century/
Beeb says appeal against conviction…….
Nowt on why criminals do crime, the perps have no fear of the law and the consequences, they only fear fellow criminals.
No one sticks their hand into a fire unless they do not feel the pain, otherwise they wear a protective shield. To change the direction of an bad action, force must be used otherwise it continues in the same rewarding direction.
Take the example of new recruits, they want the security of well paid position but do not want to have the pain of a broken bottle, there appears that it is not rewarding enough to keep the streets safe from the 8% of the populace that be on the rampage.
Crime pays period.
Dungbeetle – What are you rambling on about? Have you been sniffing a prisoner’s spliff?
You said, “Take the example of new recruits, they want the security of well paid position but do not want to have the pain of a broken bottle, there appears that it is not rewarding enough to keep the streets safe from the 8% of the populace that be on the rampage.”
I realise there may be shortcomings in the selection and training of officers today, but I believe there are there are those in the job nowadays, who are there for more than just the dosh and who aren’t afraid of being assaulted.
Some might not be as adept as their forebears in the role, but I believe the majority still like the idea of catching scrotes, keeping the pond life under control and protecting the public…..it’s your job to guide them to do better.
And I’ve been at the Calvados again, ‘there are, there are’. Para 3. Hic!
Hugh Janus: Thanks to you and fellow good guys, that we can claim to be civilized.
Thanks :
Probation was the time to find out if one can make the grade, those that fail to fit should not feel bad, but look for a more productive area.
Everyone has great talents, but the trick is to find them and match them before they are lost. We need a better way to discover the lost talent, too many times we wait until desperation, like war to find and turn clod hoppers like me into an engineer. I did not like cow dung.
To those that have found their vocation, I say wonderful, unfortunately too many fail to find their real talent until warn out.
It has been said “never never let others define you”
We must find ways to make every one have a productive and enjoyable life, because it so much easier to destroy than to create.
We can only make progress when we put all the different pieces of the puzzle into one organized group, all pulling on the same team.
Like sports there are too many just watching and not Playing, it is, as I have found out better to try and accomplished something than to watch others and criticize which very easy.
ten stone, ex blindside.
Hugh Janus : re few want the front end, there have been many that sayeth that there be very few that have any quality time in dealing with normal PD’s & DV’s
and as The Granta/Cam is scared that she may only be able to handle 999 calls and as that staff be cut too Indian Call Center may be come a reality!
BBC piece
Glad to read your last para, I thought you might be missing a few Rugby teams as not too many 16st props left.
I miss them days of sacking a scrum ‘alf.
Dungbeetle – I am a 14 stone, 6 foot, ex-fullback.
For me, being a cop was a vocation and getting involved in the action on the street was great fun, that was not to be missed. Then came the satisfaction of protecting people from the ‘scum bags’, who were intent on making the public’s life a misery.
We had officers who were excellent thief takers, but who were hopeless at putting case files together. I’d rather have those whom you can help out with their paperwork, than those academics who knew the theory, but were hopeless at putting it into practice. Often these were trainers, whose local knowledge and street skills were questionable.
Then you had those who kept on going back into departments like S.B. and when you ‘phoned them just gave the telephone extension number, but not their rank or name. Most of them were Walter Mitty types……whats the betting that the soon to be erstwhile trainers will aim for jobs like S.B.?
Dungbeetle – “Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.” – William Arthur Ward’s words sum up how cops should behave.
No.15, red shirt with the words ‘Ich Dien’ and three feathers on my chest would be my dream. I have plenty of sheep dung on my boots – on retirement I literally ‘bought the farm.’
Be careful out there on the streets guys and girls
Oh, forgot;
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/09/13/acpo_consulation/
More on cut crime, like TB [NL], tough on crime and tough on the cause of crime, reminds me of where the pea be, under which nut case .
Not only are our trainers puckering their rings at the posibility of having to really police again but they have finally realised they will have to work with those they have pissed off, some of whom will be higher ranks than them, have more courses and be over all more qualified and experienced. It makes me recall a lecture that went on for 3 hours where a trainer who had been in three years talked about how they had been at the centre of their section and been really popular and then moved as they were so good to be a trainer. They then went on to talk to us about custody procedures and what to do.
A year later I met the section that trainer was part of, turns out the trainer was transfered as they had reported their sergeant and three of the section for what they had been saying in the van and generally in briefing about the trainer nicking bodies from others and taking credit for jobs others did. The stories they had told at training school were always it seems based on the actions of others. The trainer lost out with the inspector but due to not accepting the decision they got transfered out to Training School as they were shit and burnt all bridges within their section.
If you want a career in training it is crucial to spend as little time as possible on the front line!
Some of our trainers are already out…
Spoke to one the other day, she wasn’t best pleased.
Hates shifts, hates the work.
Then why doesnt she volunteer to be one of the 40000 and go and find another job?
Makes sense joining the police then!!!!
Doh!
You sexist, woman-hating brutes…
Don’t you see that you should be offered ‘family friendly’ patterns?
Unless you are a man, of course… when I asked I was told, ‘no’.
‘No?’, said I. ‘No’, says sarge.
Want to hear the punchline?
She is part-time due to … guess? yup family friendly shifts!!!
lol
I decided enough was enough of playing fair so… one trip to the doc later, I said, ‘well sarge my doc says I need the change in patter (still full time but filling in for shifts) for my mental health or she will sign me off for 3-months’.
Strange… I got them then…
If she’s part-time – who will make the tea when she’s not there ????
A bit off topic ,but its the same as promotion exams,,,I have seen some right dick brains who have been promoted ,and others you would follow to the end of the earth getting knocked back,does not seem to be any sense to it all.
Many moons ago in the RN you used to have Admiralty made promotions , if you had the ability to lead and knew the job you would get promoted ,a little bit like Battlefield Promotions,,,,that is a far superior system than what they have at present
Excopnz – I took three attempts before I passed the Sgt’s exam and two attempts at the Inspector’s exam before I got through. The gurus at the National Police Training Centre in Harrogate used to write questions on the most obscure topics which you’d rarely encounter in the real world.
The daftest thing was O.S.P.R.E Part II, the practical part of the exam, which was so unrealistic – I just scraped through that part.
You are right, there were some excellent guys who were brilliant at policing, but who couldn’t get through the exams because of the trick questions on subjects the most practical police officers never experienced in the real world.
These questions were dreamt up by trainers who were inebriated with the exuberance of their own verbosity, and gifted with an egotistical imagination.
Now let’s see how they survive in the real world.
I remember being told time and time again in training that we would be turned out as the most highly trained and highly skilled officers in the force and would have knowledge and skills that bobbies with 10 to 20 years in hadn’t got.
If it hadn’t been for the fact that in the may part we were ex specials and had our feet planted on the ground, then we’d have endedup bring turned out a right load of arrogant know it alls which would have gone down like a fart in a lift when we got out on division and unceremoniously pointed in the direction of the kettle.
First!
Bugger ! Second.
A Northern pedant writes “It’s trouble at t’mill Guv”
Come and join us, come and join us (for free)
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/local/8390872.The_police_force_offers__so_much_job_satisfaction/
Let’s hope for West Mercia’s sake they that the paper doesn’t run a survey on the officers to see how satisfied they are! This is a blatant example of winning meaningless awards to help the CC and his cronies achieve their QPMs when the reality on the ground is morale reaching dire proportions!