Thanks to the reader who sent this pic from Italy.
In Ruralshire this week I dealt with the usual mix of tragedy and farce. It is becoming increasingly difficult to see the difference. Dealing with major incidents has become just that little bit more complicated this week with the introduction of the “Senior Officer looking for promotion phone-call” right when I am trying to sort things out.
“Please give me a full briefing…. would you like some PCSO’s for reassurance?….. what is the likely Community Impact?….. have you spoken to the Media Officer yet?……. are there any journalists there yet, would you like me to come and speak to them?”
“I’ll tell you what Sir, let me get a cordon on, evacuate the injured persons, clean up the blood and speak to the Constables who arrived first and then we can think about those things OK?”
“Oh… haven’t you done those things yet?”
“No, I’m too busy on the phone to senior officers to actually DO anything!”
I answer the fifth phone call with an angry “Yes, Gadget here, what is it NOW?”
I am immediately humbled by the voice of PC Mickey ‘the head’ Thompson.
“Steady on Guvnor, Skipper asked me to call you for your doughnut order, only, we are going to be here a while”
I ask ‘the head’ for the custard ones. I feel I’ve earned them and besides, one victim has died so he is correct; none of us are going anywhere for a long time now. I don’t want to sound harsh, but we have already been on duty four hours and no one has eaten yet. As soon as the news leaks out that we are dealing with real fatalities, the ’senior officer phone calls’ dry up.
Funny that.
Gadget Note: No officer above the rank of Inspector was hurt in the writing of this post.
Funny, not really. True? Sadly so.
How could you hope to deal with something without a community impact assessment?
This all evidently took place between the hours of 8am and 4pm in order that a telephone call from an officer above the rank of Inspector was made to Gadget the first place. I’d be surprised (understatement) if it was made post 10pm when such individuals may likely be starting their alloted 10 hours beauty sleep…
Was this the ‘incident’?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1198840/Father-arrested-held-cells-playing-football-park-children-council-permission.html
Interesting … when you read the story turns out the press are just trying to make police look bad again – he wasn’t arrested for “playing football in the park” he was arrested for threats to commit criminal damage – a criminal offence – you can see it now some minor council rule being enforced by some civil servent and the man get threatening, telling them he’s going to put some window in or something, 999 call made, he’s a bit arsey maybe even repeats the threats of officers and gets nicked…..not ideal but he was *not* arrested for playing football with his kids!
But that’s the Daily Mail for you!
“He told how officers were called in after he tried to organise a protest picnic with other parents to challenge the council’s decision.
‘The police said I was threatening to cause criminal damage,’ he said.”
Assault with a sausage roll? Waving a paper napkin in a threatening manner? Consuming weak ginger beer in a Controlled Drinking Zone?
WTF?
Anyway I want to know why you are dealing with such incidents when you should be doing this incredibly stupid idea….
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2528786/Cops-break-into-peoples-houses-to-show-easy-it-is.html
Not entirely sure about the legality of posting civilian PCSO’s through the windows, but after having spates of breaks at houses where people do precisely that, promoting a little self awareness can’t be *all* bad.
Don’t pretend that these major/critical incidents happen all the time, so how can we have any time to do anything else like crime prevention!
They’re not Police officers, they’re Community support officers.
I am THAT Police Constable from That Mitchell and Webb look.
I fairly confident that this PCSO would have been ejected from my premises using reasonable force without recourse to the opportunity to administer me crime with prevention advice.
Such an approach presumes, of course, that I’m an not old enough or responsible enough to have taken my own ‘risk based’ decisions about whether to leave a windown open or not.
Probability multiplied by impact = risk. It’s very unlikely to happen and as I’m in the house, the impact of it happening is low because he’ll get nowhere near to stealing anything before I start administering reasonable force … so, f**k it, I’ll leave the window open instead of sweating my nuts off.
Inspector Delacour sounds like a nice chap … I wonder if he lets his kids play outside whilst he’s studying for the Chief Inspector test? Perhaps the PCSOs should aim to kidnap for just enough time for him to fill his trousers with fear, just to produce them with lollipops and issue him a lecture on parenting.
Patronising idiots.
Gosh, it all brings back memories of the RUC’s Force Control, Information and Communications (FCIC) demands to speak to the duty insp about any incident before he/she had even arrived at the scene or been briefed. I myself once told the duty senior officer (one below ACC but above super) that I was still awaiting arrival at the scene before anyone – even a Constable – could give me an update and the reason I wasn’t at the scene myself was because I was fielding calls from FCIC every two minutes. All that got me was a “parade” in front of the regional ACC the following morning. (I think in the army they call it “an interview without coffee”.)
How Normal, headline chasers, Centurions had the same problem when dealing with Nero and his ilke, those dastardly Celts still making trouble.
I guess yee cannot tell crown and pips what a pip he be or to go and do a biological impossibility
what a crock of shit. you really couldn’t make it up could you?
Were quite lucky on our shift in so far as one, the gaffers easy going and will do as he is ‘advised’ by the skippers. and two the skippers are more experienced than him* and guide him appropriately.
I’m sure he’ll soon move on to become the domestic violence inspector back in the ivory tower somewhere, but if the sergeants are’nt around he can be a real pain in the arse.
I used to be in the army like gadget, and the most influential man by far was the RSM. (Regimental sergeant major). If the colonel or some officer ever came out with something stupid (and they did. often) he would correct them, gently first and more forcefully if he had to.
we could do with some RSM’S in the job. Their first port of call would be ACPO…………………….
*(he spent quite alot of time at hq in mid career, and was therefore in the company of walter mitty, dennis the menace, spider man and lots of other ‘real’ people)
RSMs all round … I think in the police we call them ’senior sergeants who don’t want to be inspectors’ don’t we? Invariably sound, full of wisdom and experience … it should be on the inspector’s course to listen closely to these people at all times.
The problem with the police, in my view, is that this comfortable delegation to trained, professional subordinates is uncomfortable to a lot of senior officers
a) they don’t know what they’re doing, hence they’re uncomfortable letting people get on with it, because they’ll be shown up;
b) they don’t know what a good sergeant ‘is’;
c) they haven’t got the wit to realise that if you let these people get on with it, they’ll do you good job and end up making you look good.
Sometimes I just sit in the dark in my pants and rock back and forward …
Stalin was told his problem be the Warrant Officers , so he got rid of them, it took 3 years to get his army fighting fit again.
Attended the scene of a messy RTA – truck v. pedestrian (result; 1-0 to the truck).
We’re still trying to establish just how thinly spread over the carriageway the poor chap was – we found one of his trainers over 30 metres away. His foot was still in it – when the Traffic Inspector turns up.
Was his first question;
a) What happened?
b) Who is the unfortunate victim? or
c) Why are some officers not wearing their white Traffic hats?
I’m sure you know the answer…..
ExTrafficBiker
c.
C!
We have a Sgt who turned up to an assistance shout at a big pub brawl and the first question he asked was…….
Wheres you tie PC ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For free entry into the parish raffle, was this man;
a) a graduate
b) on the HPDS
c) attempting to become an inspector
d) an idiot; OR
e) all of the above.
Is the answer C because the Inspector knows that if a prosecution is likely to be necessary that he doesn’t want to give something easy (like officer not correctly in uniform) for Nick Freeman http://www.safespeed.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&p=179511 to get his client “off” ?
Alfie – Urban myth.
Ah, Community Impact Assessments…don`t you just love `em.
Not only that, but as if they weren’t pointless enough, there’s also the Community Tension Assessments; … you know, the one where you summarise all ongoing CIAs into a CTA, adding to it summaries of all reported hate incidents, intelligence logs and other media issues relating to your local community tension plus some other factors … hey presto, you have a CTA.
This documente is strategically intended to obviate the need for the superintendent to bother his arse to get briefed or up to speed with his responsibilities. Of course, that we gainfully employ LOADS of people to complete and to manage the other stuff, means it is just a total waste of time and effort … not least because the superintendent doesn’t understand it anyway.
Pretty cool post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your posts.
Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon!
“…would you like some PCSO’s for reassurance?”
Wow! Seriously…?
I can’t think of anything less reassuring than a couple of Blunkett’s Plastic Police – who can’t actually do anything – to help out an actual policeman.
Still, I suppose it stops them climbing through windows to scare the public…
//No officer above the rank of Inspector was hurt in the writing of this post.//
In that case, IG, your technique need sharpening.
“I’m terribly sorry – sir – when you rang for the fourth time I was perhaps a little too focussed on the immediate needs of the scene and incident management when. I now realise I should have accepted your very kind offer to attend and deal with the other vital matters you mentioned.
“Gadget Note: No officer above the rank of Inspector was hurt in the writing of this post.”
Pity it wasn’t “No officer BELOW the rank …..”
[...] Pizza, Pasta, Expresso and Me! Thanks to the reader who sent this pic from Italy. In Ruralshire this week I dealt with the usual mix of tragedy and [...] [...]
So true. But whats even more telling is what the Senior-Officer-looking-for-promotion has to offer the unfolding situation…square-root-of-F-All
These people (SENIOR Officers) ceased to be coppers a loooong time ago (some never were – and never will be). Most are self-serving chameleons who re-event themselves every once in a while, and then only for promotional purpose.
Sad state of affairs.
At least the senior officer was at least aware of whats going on, which is a step up from usual. (the usual being a list of questions in the next days management meeting)
Custard donuts are the best though. Only if they’re from the fridge though.
Brian E – exactly my point!
Daily Management Meetings! Its when we send details of good jobs done by the troops to those that never see the streets so they can pat each other on the back and pretend that they are part of it,rather than the hindrance that they really are.
“…the ’senior officer phone calls’ dry up. …”
Was that because the CCTV was no longer in use and was pointing to a better target that would give nicer results.
By the way have CCTV’s helped in making the Merinos safer. .
I suggest you pay careful attention to this article: http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/latestnews/Q-What-happens-when-a.5433727.jp
It contains the statement:
Police last night said there was nothing to connect the two incidents. More than 350 police staff faced a three-hour wait to return to the building while the bomb squad inspected the package, later described as a hoax by senior officers.
So maybe you’re receiving prank phone calls from senior officers.
Rich
You are absolutely right-In my experience most “senior” police officers are hoaxing themselves their bosses and the taxpaying for drawing large amounts of money for being unable to do the job.
Best thing with CIAs is not to mention them. Now they’ve been around fro quite a while I think the bosses have realised what a waste of time they are.
As someone who has written a few, I find it gives the top floor a renewed focus when you include their decisions as much as possible in the write-up and also give them Actions.
Re the return of serious violence in NI, best wishes to the guys and girls out there, especially those injured and preparing for another night of it.
Things like that always bring home how pathetic the majority of the bureacracy actually is, when you are getting pelted with flashbangs, fireworks big enough to blow a car apart and petrol bombs laced with sugar.
Makes this post all the more poignant as I very much doubt any office dwelling keyboard monkey – of ANY rank – was jumping at the chance to put their public order kit on and back their colleagues up.
Funny how senior officers pop up where there are incidents of high profile, with no real grief attatched. Jobs which have grief attached, jobs where the wrong decisions can be career damaging, not a dicky bird.
Its the boots on the beat that get the job done. The dedication and vocation of the thing blue line lead by the Skippers and Inspectors who keep a lid on things. However we get the critique and the seniors get the glory.
Mind you its reassuring to know that whilst I desperately try to get enough boots on the beat, the organisation are recruiting yet another six support staff members to ring our customers up asking what their citizen to police interaction was like.
On another rant why is it that our civillian SUPPORT staff are now trying to drive and direct what we do. Oh how the tables have turned.