Terrorism is the new Rock ‘n’ Roll.
April 27, 2008 by inspectorgadget
People ask me why Ruralshire Constabulary no longer have a Drug Squad.
First, Drug Squads were for a time before just about every criminal was on drugs. Now you have to be a professor of Chemistry to understand the ever changing classifications and legal position of controlled drugs. Drug Squad officers were NOT professors of anything. Trust me on this.
Second, Drug Squads were for a time before junkies and their pushers were ‘victims’ themselves. They were also for a time when the Courts actually used to send people to prison, and for a time before illegal drugs were cheaper in prison than outside.
Third, the word “Squad” is banned (it reeks of the days when we actually used to go out and nick bad guys). Squads never used to offer prisoners twelve different types of Halal menu and four different types of herbal tea before interview (true story).
Finally, Terrorism is the ‘latest biggest thing’ despite killing far less people than Drugs. Something had to go to make way for the new religion.
The white silk scarf proves that Osama saw Elvis in Vegas.
It won’t surprise you to know that all the long haired, leather jacketed, roll-up out of the side of the mouth operatives have now left the Drug Squads and transferred to……………… the Counter Terrorist Teams. If they are as competent as they were last time around, there should be a fundamentalist terrorist waiting to kill everyone and go straight to heaven on every street corner in Ruraltown by 2012.
Note: Please don’t write in and tell me that illegal drugs are linked to terrorists. Nobody likes a smart-arse!
Also today’s friend is tomorrows terrorist.
Some of us were short haired but you are dead right on the leather jackets. I loved rocking the Lithuanian doorman look.
Don’t forget - Fifth - drug possession and drug supply are “victimless” ie - not reported to police but discovered. As far as any SMT is concerned, no drug crimes recorded (detected or otherwise) = no drug problem. The last thing HQ want us plods on the ground to do is to dig up a drug problem on their turf!!! So why would they possibly think it was a good idea to set up a squad to tackle the issue?
So the legendary Christmas (sorry, Winterval) parties are a thing of the past too, I suppose.
Will - the legendary Christmas parties (down south, at any rate) are not a thing of the past. Not as good as they were (you have to pay for drinks now!!!) but a good night out.
In my neck of the woods it has been revealed detections are down on last year and in comparison with the rest of the farce. Crime is also down but in this day and age Sir Robert Peel’s maxim that the lack of crime is an indication of our success is forgotten.
Detections is all and for that reason my team has been chosen to “concentrate” on cannabis warnings. The rationale being that they take little time to do and they provide a quick sanction detection. This increases the overall detections percentage and makes the boss look better.
I want to cry. We are getting hammered by burglaries at the moment. I want to spend time with the victims in line with last months “dish of the day”, citizen focus. However, to be frank, there’s not much in it for me. Ninety minutes spent comforting, assisiting and reassuring is not measured nor does it impact on my “performance indicators.”
Far better is for me to run in, grab some details, promise SOCO attendence the next morning (not out of office hours obviously) and then get back out and stop the intolerable scourge of pot heads. You know pot heads, they are the ones raping, fighting, stealing and making the life of our citizens unbearable with their demands for roaches, rizlas, late night snacks from petrol stations and constant giggling.
The upside is that I am now part of a “drugs squad” in all but name. I can wear leather jackets and talk knowingly about informants and remits.
The downside is that I am fucking ashamed it has come to this.
Grunt,
Your paragraphs on burglary are infinitely sad.
I have never been burgled - foiled one once, with the threat of force - but have seen the effect on others. For women especially, the event can be a psychological earthquake, hence the need for comfort that you mention.
That you are prevented from giving that comfort, and targeting the crime itself, is a disgrace.
The shame is not yours: it belongs to the Home Office and senior management. Were these people cops once? It is hard to believe so.
One day, when I grom up, I would like to have a remit too so I can pick what calls I want to go to. Something like you might see on The Bill, you know, sexy stuff
Boring old domestics, assaults, criminal damage and burglarys need not apply of course.
Jeff - yes, senior management were cops once…. They were cops Back in the day when the old bill WERE fitting up rogues, when the old bill WERE racist, when the old bill WERE homophobic, when the old bill WERE poncing around on tax payers cash, but also when courts WERE punishing criminals.
Todays judicial system bares no resomblance to when they were coppers. And they bare no resemblence to coppers of today.
All our bad press comes from the very same people hanging us out to dry over figures, clear ups, under achievement and corruption. They caused the cancer, then apologise for us!
We just go round and round and round.
The white scarf merely shows that OBL used to visit Workmen’s Clubs in the North East where such an accoutrement, usually silk, was considered the height of chic - that was, however, before the advent of traccy bottoms, football shirts and trainers which had never been in contact with a blade of grass. Good blog though.
9 totallyermunpc - altho I disagree with your views - this post don’t SOUND like you…. “fitting up rogues”? (I worry) but I think I have been monitored out of most of these bloggy-posts cos I ain’t in the club and you cannot pigeon hole me - s i g h. But - frankly I cannot be arsed to persist - perhaps I am just a scumbag chav pondlife type - ain’t the internet a great leveller? x
Kate…. you bare no resemnlense to you’re descrsiption of yourself there.!!
Laters!
Pushers? Users? Druggies? Thieving Scum? Tsk Tsk IG I can really see you haven’t engaged with the core objectives of your service. Don’t you realize these poor people are victims and have no choice but to steal / deal? They should be comforted and hugged at every opportunity. I mean it’s not like jail stops them stealing / dealing when they’re inside now is it?
Oh wait it does (and combined with proper treatment programs gets the skag-heads off it more often than not at least for a while), but we have an over-liberal society and government. We’re screwed and Darwin must be turning over in his grave at some of the human refuse living off our system today.
Personally Australia’s looking better to me all the time!
Just watched ‘A Villains Tale’ part 1 of the G F Newman ‘Law & Order’ series screened once in 1978 and then locked in the BBC vault for thirty years. Almost like a documentary. Villains being nicked, set up by other villains, sometimes they were guilty, sometimes it was a matter that they were ‘due’. Villains didn’t see their brief until the cops saw how they ‘were shaping up’. In reality not until they wandered into the court the following morning where a ’summary trial’ was asked for to avoid all that nasty going ‘up the steps’ that meant a lot of writing. Brown envelopes, bent cops, GF didn’t like the ‘old bill’ clearly - but the system seemed to work, the lawyers were all in on it, as were the mags. Of course, that world had to be eradicated and has now gone.
Today we are, of course, so much more civilized. human and civil rights to the fore, rehabilitation and not punishment, access to solicitors guaranteed and of course Bail, a near certainty.
It certainly is a better world isn’t it?
Grunt, why do you do it then? Why do you play their game? Why not take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and decide who you are serving. The public? The SMT?. Or perhaps you’re serving yourself?
Please don’t take this post the wrong way. I’m not having a go at you. We (all coppers) are or have been, in recent years, in similar positions at some time, but at the end of the day you have to be true to yourself. You have to do what’s right. Comforting a burglary victim or looking for an easy sanctioned detection? Do you really have to think that long and hard about it?
PC Hadenough et al
On my shift without detections you will not get driving courses, ticked off for promotion, any courses that come out, you will be marked down on your PDR, you will not be allowed to transfer, you will not be allowed to pursue other departments such as squads/dogs etc.
If this does not work, you will just be put on an inside posting, semi-permanently, so that the officers who know where to hang out and catch middle class students with no PNC ids can rush out to search them and get their cannabis warnings.
I don’t play the detections game - but I do have to do a LOT of writing and note down every single call I go to, every arrest I make, and every arrest I assist in or Crime report in my notebook, just so I can try and justify my existence. Last month I was off work for over half of the working month (and had a week of inside postings), and I still managed to put on more crime reports than most officers on my relief, and answered up to the same amount of calls.
And I was still questioned on my detections or lack of…
I see how our Force uses ‘perfomance’ information to support (or not) the decision making process when it comes to promotion/transfer, etc as ATNS makes reference to. As the divisional inspector it makes me sick to see how statistically driven we have become. Stats and ‘performance’ don’t matter to me in the same way that it matters to the SMT of the division - I want to see good results: people jailed for committing CRIMES. Am I interested whether my cops have stopped 100 random people a week and turned out 5% success rate for positive searches? Not really. Am I interested in whether they’ve stopped 100 scumbags a week and turned out a 50%+ success rate? Bloody right I am.
There are so many parts to this job that are unquantifiable, yet We become fixated by 0.X% changes in crime/detection rates, hammering cops who haven’t raised enough Crime Reports in a month, yet not giving due recognition to the contact they’ve had with the public or the ‘non-recordable’ work that has gone on instead. Whipping them harder and harder might produce ‘results’ but it leads to fiddling of figures, duplication and morale/health/respect dropping off a cliff.
Maybe I’m being naive:
Treat people like capable human beings = respect and increased morale.
Respect and improved morale = an increased willingness to do a ‘good job’.
Praise and respect = More respect and increased desire to do a better job.
Doing a better job = increased praise, improved morale, more likelihood of providing better service to public.
I could go on. Surely, this isn’t hard for people further up the tree to understand? Treat people right and they’ll, generally, do anything for you.
Lead by example. Treat with respect. Look after your own. Is this so difficult?
Area trace No Search @ 16. I think your shift must be very poorly lead if PC’s are being penalised like that. Keep shoving their sanctioned detections up where the sun don’t shine and make sure you keep your personal record of work in a safe place (as mine is). We might need them at the next bean count.
Scotsinsp. Top post. Can I have your babies?
Pc Hadenough,
Thanks for the comment. I take it in the spirit in which it is meant albeit I think you are lucky to be able to be so black and white about it. However I’ll perhaps indulge in a bit of self justification and clarification.
I’ve double digit length of service and have been in two different forces and nothing will stop me doing what I believe is right. Despite their being nothing in it for me, (except my own self respect and the knowledge that I’m doing what I promised to in my affirmation) I will continue to sit with victims for as long as it takes.
I have no problem looking at myself in the mirror. I’ve just spent some time off work having been injured trying to stop a suicidal madman stoving my head in with a piece of two by four riddled with nails. In a strange way I was serving him that day. The irony is not lost on me but I can live with it. I sincerely hope he sorts himself out whilst he is in pokey!
My point is that in doing so I get no credit nor do i get the brownie points necessary to “get along.” I’m lucky enough to be one of those who can do the basics of the job and when asked/told can do that little bit more. If the boss tells me “I want cannabis detections” give me ten minutes and I’ll have one, it comes with experience and the “sixth sense” we all develop. I might not agree with it but perhaps I’m also a little old fashioned in that I believe we are still a disciplined service rather than some politically correct social engineering collective. If my boss tells me to do something then as long as it is not unlawful or patently wrong then I am duty bound to do it. Otherwise we end up with 150000 different set of priorities.
What I was really trying to get across is that those with less service are at the point where they are genuinely running around crapping themselves that they aren’t getting the detections the SMT want. Area Search No Trace nails it when he tells of how these detections are the way to get ahead. Try telling some probationer that, although he/she is failing on their PDR objectives and the management are threatening action plans, they can look at themselves in the mirror.
My basic tennet is that the bosses have lost all sense of balance. If it’s not measurable or quantifiable then they don’t want to know. That’s wrong and needs to be changed. However, if you have 29 years of service left, a mortgage, kids and a hankering to be in the SMT in future years so you get a big pension which way are you going to play it?
Not quite so black and white now.
Scotinsp - I think you’ve nearly hit the nail on the head, but fell short on one thing.
Its people like you and me that can tell the SMT’s that we’re doing a good job. Its just that in reality, we’re not trusted enough. The Home office want to SEE what is being done, the SMT want to SEE what is being achieved and ultimately the public want to KNOW that they are getting value for money. Unfortunately, its all the value for money Policing that can’t be quantified. The local police, the reassurance of victims, the dragging of victims out of wrecks, the dealing with bereaved, the walking down the street and stopping a crime… none of this can be PROVED so we’ve turned into reporters of incidents which waste our time and effort. NCRS, Sanctioned detections, Stop and Search slips, etc, etc… its all just arse covering, meanwhile we ignore the people who need us, and end up as sport for the under class playing us off against their equally vile friends and neighbours!
?
PC Hadenough - 1) Thanks, 2) What an offer! ;D
totallunpc - I’d agree partly with you, and can see what you mean about the HO and SMT wanting to SEE a tangible point of reference regarding detections, etc. But what’s the point in measuring something that is slowly being destroyed? Gadget’s “rearranging of the deck chairs on the Titanic” is what immediately springs to ming. Yes, that makes it look so much better: when in actual fact the bilges are full of water and the ship is taking on more by the minute. You could go on with the cliched references to Nero and fiddles, but I will resist that temptation.
I go to work absolutely determined that there has to be a better way. There has to be a way that we can provide a decent service to the public. That does not mean I focus on how many penalty notices my cops hand out, or target them to increase whatever if flavour of the month. It means they go out and do their job. Yes, work within whatever strategic/national priority the Force has, but be seen to be tough on those who break the law. The public want us to police. To make the street a safe place to be. Cops want leaders to lead: fairly and to treat them with respect. Until that happens, it’s all just deckchairs.
totallyunpc - sorry, missed your ‘y’!
couldn’t agree more sir! I think you agreed with me actually!
Grunt, thanks for taking my post in the spirit which it was intended. Your reply was eloquent and to the point.
I have the luxury of only having a few years left in the job and am certainly not going anywhere or wanting/needing to get on career wise. This allows me to treat the sanctioned detection game with the contempt it deserves, so I get your point. However, I still work hard but I ensure I record everything I do to protect myself. I am still on a response team in case you’re wondering.
All the time we support this morally corrupt system it will continue. We make it work. Enough has been said about ‘Vichy Cops’ and ‘Institutional Collusion’ elsewhere on this blog but those expressions are spot on. It does not have to be this way. 20,000 of us marched over this gov’ts betrayal on pay. I see none of us are marching over the immoral systems and methods that are destroying policing in the UK. The way I police is my ‘protest’ I guess. It’s how I want policing to be.
I completely understand the fear of probationers with ‘action plans’ ‘failure of PDR objectives’ etc hanging over them, but hang on a minute. If you record everything you do (and I mean everything), are a hard working officer with the respect of your peers and you can counter any critisism with hard evidence of how effective you are, there is not a force in the land that could sack you. The fairness at work policies run both ways. Watch senior management run for cover when challenged by an ‘under performing’ officer who has hard evidence of his/her worth.
The trouble is it is fairly black and white to me. This betrayal of policing is wrong. It is up to those on the coal face to challenge it wherever and whenever we can. We have a duty to.
PC Hadenough and Metcountymounty: The kind of coppers this country needs and wants.