Update on Woffle « POLICE INSPECTOR BLOG

Update on Woffle

March 28, 2008 by inspectorgadget

Once again, I urge all police readers to visit Woffle to catch his update on life in North London. Sadly, his brother was mugged again in the same street.

Again, the Met should be happy with the response from their officers.

See; I’m not just a moaning bastard!

My right shoulder. Note the famous ’slope’.

In the meantime, on behalf of the Late Turn public order patrol, I would like to appeal to the owners of the Micky D’s franchise on the Ruraltown Industrial and Leisure Park to demolish the overhang part of the roof to the ‘Drive Thru’.

There is no way we can get our van under that structure, and we haven’t the time to mess about waiting inside the store. You are missing out on the sale of at least six extra large value meals.

Our van is well-equiped, fast and high-tech. It does not fit under the Drive Thru. It is therefore, useless to us. Shame really; it cost a lot and is great to drive.

On second thoughts: maybe I am just a moaning bastard after all!

Posted in Uncategorized | 54 Comments

54 Responses to “Update on Woffle”

on March 28, 2008 at 8:55 pm1 frank

Our van is small, ill equipped and generaly useless apart from it does fit (just) under the overhang of the maccy d’s drive thru - thank the lord.
on March 28, 2008 at 8:58 pm2 nightjack

Boss,
The post re: ********* ******? What happen?
NJ
on March 28, 2008 at 8:59 pm3 PC Franky Fact

What happened to the……ahem! Missing post?
Had afterthoughts Guv?
on March 28, 2008 at 9:06 pm4 uphilldowndale

A reference to chips and shoulders all in one post.
on March 28, 2008 at 9:15 pm5 inspectorgadget

What post?……….

Uhdd - very good!!!
on March 28, 2008 at 9:19 pm6 Twining

That’s it, I think I have learnt something from this.

I am keeping my mouth shut……

I think police vans are excellent; they are fast, get from A to B, you can nudge things out of the way.

No further comment……

What post is everyone talking about?
on March 28, 2008 at 9:23 pm7 jaegerdude

I’m lost…
on March 28, 2008 at 9:33 pm8 nightjack

Now you mention it Twining, my memory of the last 2 days is quickly fading. How very strange.
on March 28, 2008 at 9:36 pm9 frank

Mmm, my memory is totally failing me actually, maybe because I’ve been in the pub all night…its all a bit of a blur…
on March 28, 2008 at 9:43 pm10 whichendbites

Visited woffle and also just done a post

http://whichendbites.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/storming-swooping

Nice to see the results of so much ground work pay off, in the short term anyway.
on March 28, 2008 at 9:47 pm11 Twining

I feel there might have been some “divine” intervention by er, well, er…..Perhaps West Yorshire were working on the Wiki entry and something was deleted…..
on March 28, 2008 at 10:23 pm12 PTCOP

Thats not your van! Thats our van!
on March 28, 2008 at 10:28 pm13 pcfrankyfact

Listen!
If people are going to advertise their own stuff on the
Guvs blog then check my post on the ultimate Guvnor.

I give you the Gene Genie.

DCI Hunt.
on March 28, 2008 at 10:38 pm14 Mickey D's Cashire

Inspector gadget:

‘There is no way we can get our van under that structure, and we haven’t the time to mess about waiting inside the store. You are missing out on the sale of at least six extra large value meals.’

Extra large meals? There paying you too much obviously.
on March 28, 2008 at 11:35 pm15 TotallyUn-PC

you get charged for your macdonalds?

oh my god… the very thought! Is nothing sacred???
on March 29, 2008 at 12:37 am16 Woffle

Thanks for the link again.

Fingers crossed that’s the last time it happens…
on March 29, 2008 at 12:04 pm17 Bob

Have I recently flown over the Bermuda triangle. Everything is missing from the last few days.
on March 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm18 Broadmoor Psych

“at least six extra large value meals”!! In not giving van access, Micky D’s is actually doing you and your fellow’s a favour! All those clogged arteries, all those colleagues getting too fat to run, not to mention them having a Stroke on duty at some stage.

Plus, it may indeed look surreal, but it’s just not scary enough to a lowlife to see 6 fat uniforms wheezing out of a van in pursuit of them!

It may taste great, it may be comfort food at 2.am, but with twice the calories and twice the fat content a “value meal” used to have, it’s simply killing you.

I’m sure the the Chavs would be delighted that you eat this crap far more often than they do…..
on March 29, 2008 at 1:39 pm19 Chipped Shoulder

Inspector Gadget wrote:

‘On second thoughts: maybe I am just a moaning bastard after all!’

One thing I have always admired about IG is his self awareness. Loved the update on Woffle, makes a refreshing change from updated waffle.
on March 29, 2008 at 2:53 pm20 Teofilio Cubilas

Sorry, these days I’d rather eat my own nose pickings (which, I hasten to add, I don’t) than those of a 17 year old burger cook.

I dread to think what I’ve eaten over the years - although as the saying goes ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’.

Kids, if ordering in uniform, NEVER eat anything you didn’t see being prepared yourself.
on March 29, 2008 at 3:04 pm21 bobbyc

Ha, we get ours free , altho not for much longer as we take the piss a bit, lol
on March 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm22 Insp Bloke

Gadget

“You are missing out on the sale of at least six extra large value meals.”

What have you got to moan about really ?? The thought of ever having as many as 6 (six) officers in a van on the Late shift Public Order van is, in my experience, just a thought, an aspiration even.

You really are well staffed in Ruralshire.

Wish me luck tonight with my merry band of men (and women). Hope PC Rain comes to our assistance once more.
on March 29, 2008 at 4:27 pm23 Stocking

SIX extra large meals? One at a time surely……Debbie probably told them to lower the Drive Thru.
Mind you, considering what goes into those burgers, you could probably burp on the prisioners to sudue them!
x
on March 29, 2008 at 5:03 pm24 TheBinarySurfer

This is not the post you’re looking for…
on March 29, 2008 at 5:39 pm25 Chipped Shoulder

bobbyc
Ha, we get ours free , altho not for much longer as we take the piss a bit, lol

You can’t be a real copper. Surely no copper would post in the style of a texting chav!
on March 29, 2008 at 7:14 pm26 alicethearchitect

I am collecting all the little bits and pieces of photos of you. Soon I can make a collage and find out what you look like!
on March 29, 2008 at 7:16 pm27 uphilldowndale

Three ears and no eyes, not a pretty look.
on March 29, 2008 at 7:42 pm28 Bob

I’ve just got out of the shower and it is like Dallas all those years ago.
on March 29, 2008 at 8:27 pm29 Stinky

Three ears and no eyes is pretty standard for some of the mongs on us. You find them on the front lawn howling at the moon on weekends.

Mercedes vans - you’re soooo posh. We get transits, some of them are ‘S’ reg’s. They’re affectionately known as the chuckle bus.
on March 29, 2008 at 9:05 pm30 Commander Ali Dizaei

Well thats just great. There I am looking all butch and, if I may be so bold on your blog,ridicuously bloody handsome, and what do you do, take the post down.
Give me the on line equavelant of a good kicking then take my picture down and act like I never existed. You could give me a complex nobody likes me in the police at this rate!
on March 29, 2008 at 9:51 pm31 inspectorgadget

Inspector Bloke
Who said anything about having six officers in the van? I said six meals, not six officers!!! Not that we are greedy in Ruralshire or anything!
on March 30, 2008 at 11:00 am32 Doctor Commander Ali Dizaei

I vish to tell you dat diss ‘Commander Ali Dizaei’ is, in fact, not my good self. I am to be adrressed in the formal vay as ‘Dr Commander Dizaei’. As you all now I voz raised in diss country from de age of seven years an obtained a Phd, that said I still spik inglish as a second langvage, so no I do not appreciate being asked about de simspons in promotion boards or having to excuse myself ven all my vite non musslim colleagues go ‘on de piss’, it is a dat point dat ven intoxication take over de true fillings of racist comes out - oh yes indeedy. Vy aren’t british apllicants asked about iranian revolution in der bords hmm? You know vy - vere’s my bluddy lawyer gone I feel a claim coming on. And as for my trouser I alvays vear a versace belt - much better
on March 30, 2008 at 11:07 am33 Public Service

http://www.order-order.com/

Click the link. It does not lead to a dodgy porn site trust me, i’m not right a dishonourable member of parliament!

One of you lot must have jaqui’s dabs!
on March 30, 2008 at 12:12 pm34 Twining

Intelligent at 30 and 32. Very..
on March 30, 2008 at 12:22 pm35 TotallyUn-PC

Yourflash new van seems a lot more roomy than the one that me and my two chums spend our night shift in!… drive thru is crap though as macdonalds don’t do sausages. can’t spend the nightshift in a van without some sausage that’s for sure!!!
on March 30, 2008 at 12:47 pm36 nightjack

@33

Very good. Very very good indeed. Well done Guido
on March 30, 2008 at 5:04 pm37 PCSO Bloggs

Saw this (http://www.stuffonmycat.com/) and thought of you guv.
on March 31, 2008 at 9:42 am38 Stinky

Just watched Jacqui Smith spouting woffle on BBC news about her Police pledge. I dropped my toast when she started on about Police having customer service targets to be me MORE friendly.

I fell over when she said there were more Police officers on the street.
on March 31, 2008 at 10:37 am39 Insp Bloke

IG @ 31

Good point, well made. What can I say apart from ‘you fat B*****d!’.

Maybe I’ve been taking this Government drive for streamlining (slimlining?) the Police too far.
on March 31, 2008 at 10:38 am40 Insp Bloke

Or perhaps it should be called Police McDonaldisation in Ruralshire ?
on March 31, 2008 at 2:13 pm41 areasearchnegtive

Smith has a wafer thin majority and will be back organising bin collections after the next election
on March 31, 2008 at 3:27 pm42 D Cameron

areasearchnegtive:

‘Smith has a wafer thin majority and will be back organising bin collections after the next election

Rubbish.

Well I found it funny!
on March 31, 2008 at 9:48 pm43 Laban

The guy who blogs at the Spectator (i.e. he gets paid for it), Clive Davis - his 17 year old son was beaten up in an unprovoked attack on the weekend.

http://www.spectator.co.uk/clivedavis/579646/teen-crime-my-experience.thtml#comments
on April 1, 2008 at 6:46 am44 anonymous

Jacqui Smith is too back date the Police pay rise with immediate effect. Its on the BBC web site. She also said you will be getting a 6% increase this year with a one off payment depending on number of years worked!
Gordon Brown was quoted as saying he was delighted and hoped the Police would be happy with the latest offer.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/police_pay
on April 1, 2008 at 9:45 am45 TheBinarySurfer

Anonymous is posting a false link. He also posted it on Nightjacks and PC Blogg’s site so i can only assume resident troll / nutjob has returned…

Heres a tip friend, try posting a link that at least follows the correct format that the bbc uses for news stories…Some of us might actually be fooled then!
on April 1, 2008 at 10:48 am46 anonymous

Dear BinarySurfer,

It was an April 1st joke obviously. Now I know from your comments your a bit of a Police groupie and seem to be there unofficial spokesperson but please love, lighten up and get a sense of humour!!
on April 1, 2008 at 4:08 pm47 Clouseau

Hilarious. Anonymous you crack me up. We’ll get a sense of humour while you get a life.
on April 1, 2008 at 6:41 pm48 InnercityPC

its not that anonymous plonker who works for tescos is it?

I do wish that people would identify which anonymous they were.

Dont want to tar all the anonymous’s with the same brush now do we.
on April 1, 2008 at 7:08 pm49 Jaqui Smith(anonymous to you)

Clouseau:

Your all my life, I love you all. You moan equally well

InnercityPC:

Tesco plonker here indeed, thanks for that. Every little helps, unless of course you didn’t get it in your pay rise eh!
on April 1, 2008 at 9:35 pm50 InnercityPC

Tesco plonker @ 50 - I find you quite amusing. Also you cant spell. Dont hide behind anonymity. Tesco Plonker will do so we all now who you are.
on April 2, 2008 at 3:26 am51 Peter

Gone from Google’s cache.

Peter
on April 2, 2008 at 5:12 am52 Tesco Plonker

InnercityPC:

‘Tesco Plonker will do so we all now who you are.’

Well if you pop in to day dont be thinking you will be getting any club points on your card now!
Sorry for the spelling mistake, I was a chav ’till 3 months ago so not doing too bad.
on April 2, 2008 at 5:36 pm53 InnercityPC

lovely jubbly.
on April 2, 2008 at 7:43 pm54 Tesco plonker

Further to my apology to InnercityPc for my spelling mistakes can I just point out another spelling mistake.

‘Tesco Plonker will do so we all now who you are.’

We all now who you are? It should it be:

We all Know (with a K ) who you are. Also the grammar you used, or not in this example:

‘Also you cant spell’.

Should be can’t.

At this rate I will make senior shelf stacker. failing that, a PCSO!