I started this Blog in June 2006. One million hits is a good place to take stock. The first thing I would like to do is apologise to Hazel Blears. I wrongly assumed that things in British policing could not possibly get any worse than they were under her stewardship.
I was wrong. Things are considerably worse, considerably more stupid and much more confused. There is a sinister edge to the “performance culture” which has bullied so many decent police officers and criminalised so many middle class children. Blears and her cohort were silly, patronising and poorly briefed, but that’s all they were.
The criminal underclass are thriving. With no prison places, a Government obsessed with “Community Sentencing” and plod running around in ever decreasing circles handing out tickets to kids who throw cream cakes or call each other nasty names, times are good for them at least.
A few days ago I found two perfectly respectable Response Sergeants debating the merits of gaining a ‘Detected Crime’ figure from an incident where a 15 year old girl had called a 14 year old girl a “slag” at a bus stop. When I challenged this they lost the grins and the strain showed on their faces.
“We have targets” they told me. “I can’t afford to have my name plastered all over the Nick in red on the performance boards” one told me, “it really gets me down when everyone can see me failing each month”. The other told me “it’s tough s**t really Guv; they voted for this lot, they can take the consequences”.
The they he was referring to is the public. Make no mistake, these so-called ‘performance targets’ are deeply (and probably permanently) damaging on both sides to the police relationship with the public. We are not a double glazing sales firm and should not be treated as such.
Dan Collins and I will publish a book this year which will blow the lid off the whole rotten system. As PC Copperfield showed the world what a crazy waste of time modern British policing is, then this will explain how the nonsense is planned and organised, what goes through the minds of our leaders as they lurch from one ‘priority’ to another, moving phantom battalions around the field of a battle that is already lost.
I don’t blame dear old Ruralshire Constabulary for this sorry state of affairs. You don’t stop loving an old red London bus just because it is broken down.
Thanks for reading and for the 35,000 comments.
This dreamy indie version of the old Bond classic sums up how I feel by about 3.00 am on the Night Shift!
FREE MP3 DOWNLOAD The Postmark - You Only Live Twice
IG - due to an extreme lack of imagination I can only refer readers to my comments on your previous post: this is a long and protracted war, not a skirmish. Its up to all of us to fight the same fight in every possible arena. IG for Home Secretary - see my comment on the previous post!
Gov,
It’s only battles that have been lost. The war goes on and the ordinary decent copper with his/her bucket loads of common sense will prevail. i just don’t know when.
keep on writing and good luck. I look forward to your book.
John Gibson
Hey congratulations on your milestone! I am very new to this , could only hope to achieve the popularity and respect you have. I can see your frustration, but please understand things are not much different in the United States. Just remember why we wanted the job . Be Safe And Keep Up The Fight !
Guv,
If the book makes me and my girlfriend smile knowingly as much as Ellie’s did it’ll be a success! I hope it is anyway. You’ve consistantly hit the nail on the head and I hope you continue to do so. I wonder how many of “them” read this blog and hang their heads in shame? “Lots” and “None”, I’ll wager.
BTW - have a read of the Chicago PC’s blog (scc.blogspot or something) if you think it’s bad over here!
A million eh? I’m happy with the 50K mark
Heh I would love to know what Ruralshire top brass are going to think when its mentioned you’re bringing out this book. I can foresee another couple of unwelcome chats heading your way. Do you think you’ll be able to maintain the anonymity when the book is out?
I think you’ve clearly taken on the lead in the UK police blogging scene and I don’t think it’s going to be too long before your name gets mentioned in parliament Copperfield style!
Who knows, once a few more million read this and realise that the hot air spewed forth by the government with regard to crime and policing is nothing more than hot air, then we may have the beginnings of real change.
Congrats - it’s been a pleasure to read thus far and i hope your book is a success.
After reading Copperfield and Blogg’s i look forward to seeing the reasons behind the mess at the sharp end…
I’ve been reading this blog and some others through the links since DC came out in the flesh on tv (oo er missus). I’m not a copper just a member of the public, this blog IG is one of the best i’ve read and I cant wait to read your book.
I cant believe what is happening to criminals being punished, or NOT! Have the government not really got a clue what is happening to this country, they must have their heads buried right up their ar*es, hitting targets must be more important to them and making them look good.
I think the quicker the PC brigade stop meddling and let you lot get on with your jobs and the no brain ‘Liberty’ director making stupid bloody comments,(amonst others) it will be a better place to live. (finger crossed)
Keep up the blog
seriously someone got called a slag and was reported to the police? If it was anyone else but you, I wouldn’t believe it. If that’s the worst thing that ever happens to the “victim” in her life, she will be a very lucky girl.
Congrats Boss! You’ve kept the blog going, the buckets full, the lifeboats afloat.
Looking forward to your book. Well done for hanging on to your sanity and health.
Deborah - regarding the above;
once the parents go ‘head to head’ they quite often call the police to sort out their pathetic lives. There is an entire generation now who do not possess the skills to talk to each other and rely on public services to run their lives. Police and Social Services are more than happy to oblige because it creates easy targets. Sad but true.
Read the medical blogs and you will discover that it is not just the police theyhave got it in for. The government would appear to be setting things up for privatisation of the NHS (BUPA anyone?) and for the Police (Group 4, anyone)
IG. As a fellow Insp, I have to agree that running a shift as a practical, common sensical boss is becoming increasingly difficult given the performance targets that are so clearly at odds with what policing should be about.
Whenever these pressures rear their ugly head, I constantly tell myself to ‘do the right thing’. If it doesn’t feel ‘right’ to arrest / interview / charge a 15yr old for calling another girl a slag, that is where I get my grounds to tell the staff to bin the job. That is my decision and I will c
(continued - pressed wrong button !) carry the can. It is not right that the Sgts and PCs should feel responsible for the detections. That only skews their decisions. Let the bosses shoulder that burden.
I would much rather get a bollocking for low detection figures than go home. knowing I hadn’t done the ‘right’ thing. The Police are becoming morally corrupt. We have to dig deep and stick to our guns.
Inspector Bloke
Welcome and thanks for your comments.
‘The other told me “it’s tough s**t really Guv; they voted for this lot, they can take the consequences”.
Actually in England the conservatives actually won more votes than Labour, but came second in seats. So no, we didn’t vote for that lot at all and the vast majority of law abiding citizens in this country are paying the price as well for Labour.
Congrats on the Million IG (and thanks for being my top referrer). As long as there are people like you to blow the whistle on the ridiculous ‘Performance Culture’ which only serves as a ‘Look what we did, we helped detect more crime’ for the government, then at least we may win a few battles.
Looking forward to the book.
Life as a shift Sgt (at least for me) was a daily battle with Crime desk supervisors, ‘ethical recording’ analysts and ’specialist’ dept supervisors about why I wasn’t criming something. After all if it says on the incident log that somebodies been assaulted, then it must be true!!! Forget that officers have attended and proved it wasn’t the case, forget that the ‘victim’ has now sobered up and confirmed nothing happened….IT SAID IT ON THE INCIDENT LOG, SO IT NEEDS A CRIME. Hey, lets not let common sense and the facts get in the way of submitting a crime report.
Said people regularly sent a barrage of e-mails to the command team about me and my refusal to adhere to ‘ethical recording’. So despite my shift having a good morale and being the top performing shift on the Division for 18 consecutive months, I jacked it and moved on to a different role.
My reward from the Ch Super was a grunt as he walked past me in a corridor. Apparently I’m now ‘disloyal’ for leaving. Frankly Ch Super….I couldn’t give a toss.
(Nothing like a good rant first thing in the morning)
Keep up the good work IG
One of the key elements of being a cop is having the use of discretion. We are not robots and need to keep it real. Every situation is different and each needs to be treated on its own merits.
I have learnt a new word in the past 2 yrs. That is ‘rationale’. As long as I can justify my decision and explain why it was made, I am allegedly safe (naive?). We make decisions every day, many potentially life-changing. Most of these are made on the hoof. It is only later we have to take time out to work out why we did what we did. Experience is most often our saving grace…..and a good aptitude at creative writing.
As an Inspector, I am fully engaged on the idea of ‘rationale’. It helps me counter the policies that try to remove our discretion. It allows me flexibility, and consequently should save my team lots of work. However, it has become a constant battle. I know that some fellow Insp have given up the ghost and will simply apply policy because it is easier. I can’t really blame them - 20+ years on shift work can have that affect.
In addition, how soul-destroying it is to make an honest and fully thought through decision, only to be told by some faceless automon that they can’t accept it because ‘the computer says no’. When I reached the dizzy heights and acquired my pips, I thought I was the boss for my shift (naive?). Only to realise a member of support staff with 5 minutes in the job, sitting at a computer at HQ, has the right to veto my decision.
It can be reassuring to know that my experience is not unique……..but also so very sad that 43 Forces are just as much up the creak as each other.
I would like to point out that my ‘different role’ is still 24hr uniform Policing. I’m just less at the mercy of office wallahs and failed Police officers.
(Wouldn’t want anyone to think I’ve sold out
)
I still get daily phone calls from my old shift. They’re in despair, their shiny new Sgt vocally stated that she did not intend to be like me. She ‘embraces’ ethical recording. They are now bogged down with useless enquiries, overflowing crimes basket and the detection rate has plummeted.
Still…Crime desk think she’s marvellous.
Here’s to a million more hits Guv. I will be buying your book when it comes out and I hope it has the impact it deserves.
Congratulations!
Lets aim for selling one million books!
x
Reading all this I am so glad I have I have my 30 in and can go when I want. (Anyone else with my length of service fed up with the total lack of respect with which you are treated by those above you in the food chain once you get to this length of service?) The job increasingly resembles 1984 complete with ‘newspeak’ and ‘thoughtcrime’. We have a government that is so obsessed with targets that we resemble the Soviet Union circa 1956 but with slightly better clothing. The scales are slowly falling from the eyes of the general public but I fear we have already lost much of the battle and it will take a long time to reclaim lost ground. I don’t think the job will fall apart completely however- it is a resilient beast and has been through hard times in the past. On another negative note just as we had ‘ambitious’ C/Insps and Supts looking at what NuLab wanted before they came to power and ‘positioning’ themselves what chance that the next 18 months will see the greasy pole climbers looking at what a Cameron govt would do and making appropriate noises? Still - things can only get better can’t they?
Many congratulations on the million.
Different line of work but we have performance prats here but ours could never be as damaging as yours
Looking forward to the book.
Detection Targets, criming up its all a load of nonsense.
Example. Recently Youth has Jaw broken and he and mates claim they were pounced upon and attacked by unknown assailants. Turns out they weren’t and one had done it to the other. “Offender is interviewed and admits it”. This is where it gets really good.
As the “victim” is “offenders” mate he refuses to make statement refuses to go to court etc. “Offender is a PYO so can’t be reprimanded/final warned again as he has had all that gubbins already. CPS won’t touch it with a barge pole as there is no complaint. Has to stay as an undetected GBH thus increasing fear of crime for Joe Public that as soon as they walk out of the door they are going to get blatted by someone they don’t know who we are never going to catch.
Realistically how many undetected “violent” crimes are really such ie we have no idea who the offender is? A very very small percentage.
Bring back the old “complainant declines to prosecute” and you will see “detections” for violent crime go through the roof. Public perception of violence will fall and everyone will feel safer.
Why does this government want everyone trembling in their houses afraid to go out. What sinister agenda are they plotting. Not much scares me in this life but this government terrifys me.
Thanks for the further. Probably find they can’t even spell “slag”.
Will be keeping an eye out for the book.
Best.
“We are not a double glazing sales firm and should not be treated as such.” Oh so true. If this idea was widely accepted we wouldn’t have police talking about “clients” or gimmicky slogans on police vehicles: “Do the crime do the time”. A police service with a PR department is immediately corrupt. Best of luck with your book. I just hope you don’t end up feeling like John the Baptist. (Or looking like him, come to that).
Rich
Congratulations on the million - very well deserved and I look forward to the book.
Anyone who says they saw this coming ten years ago is to be envied their 20/20 hindsight. It wasn’t apparent to many that the state had been captured by the unproductive but bossy middle classes, intent on turning this country into a high tech version of the old East Germany, with consumerism bolted on.
The point about the Police State, wherever it has arisen, is that the Police are ruled by the bureaucrats, directing every action they take. The Police are not the problem, except such as the silly woman who replaced NotaSpecialist; the problem is the drones ruling your professional lives.
That said, I do my best to avoid the cops, previously my natural friends, in case I fit someone’s targets. Damned sad.
“A functioning police state needs no police.”
William S. Burroughs
Well done Mr Gadget, I don’t know how you, insp bloke and all the others carry on.
I do so agree with ‘nearlyanexchiefinsp’ (you gotta get a catchier handle mate)’s comment. Believe me, as long as you don’t work for any public sector organisation when you get out you will find that you can be an individual in any future occupation. You won’t miss the fatuous management babble-bollocks. No more ‘champions’ of anything to do with race, gender, disability or even age, no more getting involved in initiatives so far removed from what policing should be that you could think you’d become a social worker. No more wimmins days or black history months or being asked if you are gay or a freemason. No more angst over the imperilaistic colonial past, wondering if you really do want to say sorry for things you had no responsibility for in an age with different morals and values……Bliss!
The ambitious f***wits are the dangerous ones who have help decimate the service, its team ethos and its support among the general public. Nu-Labor have been particularly awful, a bigger bunch of dangerous mendacious stalinists than even Stalin and his chums, I’m sure if they could do the killing thing they would. However, there is one big benefit that has come about through the hard and dedicated work of ‘La Chipmunk’ and those two idiot savant Millipede boys, snot licker Gordo and the rest of the brownies, and that is (pause for breath) that the public can now say things that only a year ago they couldn’t about the state, not just of the police force, but of the UK in general. I mean, we don’t just have to make references to inbreeding in Norfolk anymore, we’ve a whole new group to use now! All we have to do now is vote them out BUT there’s the Cameroonies to worry about, they also speak dangerous bollocks and are they any different?
Once again, well done for a most interesting and at times amusing, but always thought provoking blog! Hope the book does well too.
congrats on the million hits boss, keep up the good work and I’m looking forward to the book, even though I’m not a big fan of reading.
Ranter
“I’m sure if they could do the killing thing they would”
They have - does the dodgy dossier ring any bells? we went to war over that and there was and still is lots of killing. I listened to the fellatious Education Minister trying to explain all Blairs foreign wars on the radio the other day - they have killed plenty, usually abroad.
Yay! I’m a fish!
I’m not at all sure when some of you say that ‘all will end well - eventually’! Seeing the large numbers of (proper) cops emigrating, and seeing what you admit is happening to the public by today’s cops, I really fear that we are done for, in a policing context. The damage caused to police/public relations by today’s policing methods will take a considerable time to mend - if, indeed, it can be.
PS. Many congrats on your tremendous hit rate, Gadget.
Indeed, you are right, I pondered on just how many people have been killed during the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq the other day with some friends and we agreed it was depressingly awful and how none of us could have imagined we’d be in this state in 2008. We also pondered on how it is still the case that those who put their lives on the line and those, and their families, who’s lives are changed forever because of their injuries, still have to rely on charity.
I’m just worried about the domiciled population (as opposed to Non-doms) but then again there’s plenty of ‘us’ being killed too. From Gary Newlove and all the others before, since and to come, all the ‘black-on-black’ all those who die trying to get here because of our non-existent immigration policies and ‘porous’ borders, etc etc.
BTW great word - fellatious - says it all doesn’t it.
IG:
Well done Sir, keep it up, fight the power, fight the man! (The irony of the Police thinking like this still shocks me) You keep fighting for common sense Policing and well keep being your loyal foot soldiers, you have my support and a fare share of our collective hopes as well.
Finnish your book and write this blog and hopefully well all be able to tear the walls down faster than the politicos can put them up.
Inspector - congrats on the millionth hit, its quite an achievement. I think you’d fit in well up in Scotland - we do have some of the madness up here but its not as bad as it seems in Englandshire. I frequently see ‘no complaints’ or ‘parties split up and moved on’. Of course, NCRS still applies and if there’s a domestic or a serious assault, then it comes into play but other than that? Not really.
Congratulations on a million.
Think of it this way. You chaps are conducting a social experiment to demonstrate to our lefty friends that the criminal class is not “depraved on account I’m deprived.” Criminals just do what comes naturally in the absence of proper socialization.
The job of the Peeler, whether in good cop mode (What’s all this then?) or bad cop mode (Go ahead, punk, make my day) is to look the young punk in the eye and remind him who is boss. If a look in the eye is not enough then firmness, as practiced on David Copperfield by Mr. Murdstone, is warranted.
Either way, you chaps deserve a medal.
Congrats on the million mark Guv, I’m only one or two off that mark too… :p
Inspector Gadget wrote … I listened to the fellatious Education Minister …
An accurate description or an inaccurate spelling? I would suggest the former.
Like the photo, guv - is that you?
Seriously, I read your posts regularly and am amazed, overjoyed, disgusted, enthralled, irritated and enlightened by your writing over the past year or so. My own job is difficult and stressful but in a totally different way to yours, which is why I find your blog so fascinating.
Keep writing, please - I will look forward to the book.
Bert R
Fellatious is a word I usually reserve for Government Ministers!! and it is the rude version yes!
Alice
I have the same effect on the public I deal with face to face as well! ha! Ellie Bloggs called me “affable” which made me feel like some kind of Captain Birdseye figure!
PCSO Bloggs
I will link to your excellent site!
Tried to be the millionth but failed! Boss, I am after a plug for a charity cycle ride I am doing, looked for your mail but failed again!
http://2008jogle.blogspot.com/
Keep going boss, you give us hope!
Boss you know where I stand on all of this and how f#**ed off with targets we all are. It’s only through these blogs that we can get the truth to the public.
1 million hits is a hell of a result and shows what a noise you are making. Well done and keep up the pressure. I will!
I bought the David Copperfield book,and as an afterthought,ordered it from my local library to “spread the word”.They bought a copy,and it’s reached quite a few more readers that way.Suggest all buyers of Inspector Gadget’s book also order a library loan copy!
Sorry to ask, but was 1 million a target and do you now get a Special Priority Payment as with other targets achieved by you and your colleagues.
Simply an outstanding blog. Working for ruralshire in a part time fashion for the last decade or so I’ve shaken my head at the slow disintegration of the job. But for a very thin blue line, and some brilliant people, our area would have totally gone to pot.
I’ve said it before, the police service cannot on one hand try to be whiter than white (non pc phrase, oops) by failing to back its officers up at the first hint of a complaint and ‘let a court decide’ and then expect them to pull out all the stops and do the right thing whilst putting themselves at risk of losing their livelyhoods or liberty for that matter.
Ruralshire is no different to any other force, and I agree with IG’s comment about loving it.
Guv, I can but hope you are the boss I’ve seen so often in parade that the troops love and respect, that even says hello to me and my merry band of ‘hobby bobbies’, thanks us for being there and even backs us up on the occassions when we’ve needed it. You must be - can there be more than one in Ruralshire??
Congratulations IG, well deserved.
Congratulations on 1Mil. Like this new site layout and format. The other was too harsh and dark.
I promise to wash with soap everyday!
Congratulations on a million hits! And never apologise to Hazel Blears for anything, she’s a poisonous carbuncle on the arse of society and you can bet that if she’s ever caught out for having said something inaccurate she won’t apologise. Or emigrate, more’s the pity.
Yep,congratulations.I ‘ve been a late reader as such,but again enjoyed the blog.I’ve never had to really experience the target culture and the push to get daft and silly detections,it just hasn’t been the way here in NI but I can see the change coming.I left the section two years ago to join TSG but as the SMT have no real idea with what to do with us,we are slowly being pushed to get detections etc.No bad thing but cue the rush towards the end of the month for FPN etc.Of course it’s those scared of doing a file chasing people on mobile’s because it’s still a detection and no paperwork hassle.
On a lighter note. try British Sea Power Do you Like Rock Music.Great stuff.
Keep it up IG.
Congratulations IG on making a Million! Just seen this story and I wonder if there is hope that sanity will return.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7244485.stm
I have been reading this on adn off for the past year or so, I have friends and family who are police officers (would have done it myself but deaf police doesnt seem to work!)
I stopped believing in statistics that are brought up by the government a long time ago, since anyway can take any set of stats and make them fit the picture they want to tell
Surely the only stats we should be concerned about within the police force is ‘Crimes reported against Crimes solved’ as in teh simplest sense
Why they had to come up with targets is anyones guess, I always assumed for ttargets you had to have an idea of what was going to happen in the future
How you can tell how many crimes you are going to have msut be some branch of obscure Occulmancy that is hidden within the government
It was like the story they put in teh papers saying they had cut down on a form that needed to be filled in so this would allow police officers more time on teh beat (they forgot to mention teh others forms they ahd been given that actually mean more time at the station!)
Another one of my gripes is PCSO, wouldnt it just have been easier to train tehm as ‘proper’ police officers so when they do get teh 14 year old having a tnatrum they dont have to lock themselves in a room and call a ‘proper’ copper to come and help them
I do despair of how people think of solving problems, It really is time to get the MP out of the lsat centruy and get younger more ‘intouch’ people into power who will actually go ‘whoah whoah hold on, that is the daftest thing i have every heard of, what an earth possessed you to do that? have you been watching reruns of nathan barley again??’
Ahh well done if you reached the end of this and if my post made any sense to you, if it did you may just be politician material
Well done on the big million sir.
I’ve been reading for over a year and find your insight as a leader in the force brilliantly interesting.
Keep flying the flag guv, make sure they’ll have to do something soon.
MoreThanSpecial
Kendl, I agree with your comments and that in the report but, we should all be cautious as too the real motivation form stripping out senior management. My farce is currently doing the same thing. What my point is, is the removal of senior management just a way for the government to exert control over the farce service?.
Congratulations on the million, and good luck for the book! Also liking the new theme. Very smart
Regards,
Nick
http://nickhough.blogspot.com
Obidom - In reply to your “Another one of my gripes is PCSO, wouldnt it just have been easier to train tehm as ‘proper’ police officers”, this would have meant paying PCSOs the same rate as PCs, and that REALLY wasn’t part of the Government’s plan!
Similarly, if Strathclyde saves £2m on superintendents’ pay then that will eventually be pinched by the powers that be as an “efficiency” saving. Mind you, the Chief will probably earn himself a nice performance bonus, or an OBE with that.
Congratulations on your successful - and sometimes challenging - blog, IG.
‘The other told me “it’s tough s**t really Guv; they voted for this lot, they can take the consequences’
Well thats charming, I bet you didn’t give them a bollocking for talking bullshit either judging by your comments on pc blogs!
Congratulations on the million, IG. Your success is much deserved.
As a MoP, I read the police blogs with horrified fascination, but also with a bit of hope, since the symptoms of the failure that the politicians have created can no longer be concealed or denied. The next step towards improvement / repair is to work out the underlying causes of the symptoms. I am quite sure, as an amateur management expert, that the target approach is one of the key causes, but it is likely that there are others, and in general with a complex situation you have to deal with all the causes or they will gradually re-establish themselves. So I am very glad to hear that you are publishing a book - I will certainly be buying it - in the expectation that you will identify in print the causes, and then those of us who would like to fix the situation can turn attention to devising and promoting solutions.
Anyway, many thanks for your writings here and best wishes for the book