Sorry My Arse
January 26, 2008 by inspectorgadget
PC Ellie Bloggs has written in her book about the “Crap Car” duties in Blandmore. This is the same in every police area in the UK.
As police Inspectors, we have our own version of this stupid waste of time. On F Division we call it being “Sorry Arse” for the day. When I arrived at work last Friday I found the Senior Inspector* and asked him “who is ‘Sorry Arse’ today?”.
“Ah, Gadget my boy……. you are; enjoy!”.
Being “Sorry Arse” for the day consists of either telephoning or visiting people and saying….. well, “sorry” to them for all the nasty and terrible things that we (or anyone else, either alive or dead) have done to them. This can range from a police car on blue flashing lights which drove too fast down their road to apologising for slavery in the 18th Century. You think I am joking about the last example? Think again.
Unhelpfully for our sycophantic senior officers, the Slavery Abolition Act was in 1807. Ruralshire Constabulary was formed in 1867. But let’s not let a small fact like the force didn’t even exist at the time get in the way of a great apology opportunity. With great ceremony in 2007, senior police officers who were not alive at the time, working for an organisation which didn’t exist at the time, apologised to the local minority ethnic police staff association, for slavery in the British Empire.
Before you ask what this has to do with you, remember that you paid for the posters, literature and the rather delicious lunch afterwards. Council Tax is a wonderful thing.
Meanwhile, I find myself saying “sorry” to the parents of a gobby, drunken youth who was outrageously searched by officers on Wednesday night at 11.00 pm by the bus stop next to the Library. The Library doors just having been damaged by………… a youth fitting his description. Response had arrived and found deep scored marks on the doors.
They were searching him for a screwdriver or similar. He decided to start shouting foul abuse and refused to be searched. We all know Response officers. They do not have the time or the inclination to mess about with a fool like this, and he was nicked.
He didn’t have a screwdriver. Not by the time Response arrived anyway. The parents tell me that criminals do not wait around to bait the police after committing an offence. Really? I tell them that since at least 1984, that’s exactly what they do.
Never mind. On the basis of this, they tell me that the police action was unjustified. I cannot tell them about the apple of their eye’s criminal record. He is 18, and this would be a breach of his ‘Right To A Private Life’ under the Human Rights Act.
I excuse myself for a minute and telephone the Senior Inspector. I can’t apologise, I tell him, because we haven’t actually done anything wrong. I must still say sorry, he says.
Under the new rules, I must apologise for the fact that they feel we have done something wrong.
I am indeed, a Sorry Arse. And I’m rapidly crawling up it.
* The Uniform Chief Inspector’s role was moved to Neighbourhood Policing, so now we effectively do not have a boss. The oldest and boldest Inspector undertakes this role on a voluntary basis. This saves the money needed for the lunches described above. Good eh?
One of my failings as a human being is I always tell the truth and don’t beat about the bush when someone asks me what I think about a given subject, the reason it is a failing is certainly in our job, most people don’t like to hear the truth as it usually means that they are either wrong or simply stupid.
Telling the truth and speaking my mind has upset a few people in thepast however I am certain that I will NEVER be picked for crap car or response officer equivalent of sorry arse as long as I live, unless of course I tell our chief inspectectors or supernintendos that their divisional plans were a stupid arrogant waste of time, and someone nearly got killed the other day because of it. Again.
IG
Do you think that there is a “sorry arse” equivalent in this country:- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7210688.stm
who will apologise for even thinking about arresting the person in question?
And did anyone have the sorryarse job when he was released min this country?
And is Ms Smith sending someone to say sorry to your colleagues for breaking that promise?
And are you holding your breath?
I have to do the same “Sorry arse” thing. I use the words.
“I am sorry on behalf of xxxxx Police that you feel that way…”
All they hear is the word sorry - which is good enough for me to move on…
I would have thought you would be used to saying sorry for things we have had nothing to do with.
Maybe we should say sorry for the British colonisation of far away countries in the 1600s!! and for our persecution in search of the commonwealth!
I hear the City of Bristol had to lay down an apology for their part in the slave trade 100s of years ago. We are turning into a nation of apologisers!
Anyway sorry about the rant!
What happens if you fail to apologise? Can you just say sorry to the “Senior” Inspector instead?
Sadly, I imagine that if you refuse to apologise someone else will just get sent who isn’t so darn stubborn.
I presume that’s EXACTLY how you DO phrase it boss? “I’m sorry you **FEEL** we’ve done something wrong” and move on?
Sorry, that was wrong of me to say that. Sorry.
You really must start taking this more seriously, or folks will stop complaining!
When I was ten, my mate and I were passing a police box (in Stanford Avenue, Brighton i you must know), and there was a policemans bike outside with a Magpie Moth on the saddle…I exclaimed to my mate “Look at that moth on the copper’s bike” … at which point a large constable errupted from the box, grabbed me by the arm and said “It’s policeman not copper - don’t you ever be so rude again”…
I was frightened out of my wits and have respected the law ever since…
So when are you going to apologise to ME for blighting my life with this law-abiding ethos?
How have we gone from that above to the local chavs telling police to “f” off in one generation? I think that says it all. The liberal social engineering experiment has failed.
There are still many places in Europe where the story above would ring true today.
If the consequences were not so serious (like the feral youth murders recently) it would be amusing.
I find the majority of my working day is spent apologising largely for things i cant influence to any meaningful extent. Examples of this include CPS, Sentencing Criteria, The Bail Act 1976, The Weather, Traffic Congestion, Bureaucracy, Football Referees, Speed Cameras, Other victims of crime who have the nerve to become victims, the state of education today, social services, NCRS, target culture, the England Football Team, etc.
Lately i have been dreaming of bygone days when people who whinged without grounds to the Police got arrested for wasting Police time. I have also been dreaming of the days of when people who called the Police with anything trivial got a Police visit and a lecture about what the Police are actually for. Of course since our role expanded beyond preserving the Queen Peace to absolutely everything else we cant do that any more.
I wish to make an unreserved apology. Firstly that I was ever born. If I had not been born I would not now be a police officer who is hell bent on catching criminals. Secondly I wish to apologise for every thing that happened prior to my birth whether I was aware of the matter or not is not relevant. I would also like to apologise for everything that is taking place now, Northern Rock, Iraq, the stock market crash and Peter Hain, I unreservedly apologise for anything that takes place after my death.
Bollox unlawful order, never find me saying sorry for something im not, Stick it to the man guv’ … bty wheres my local resoultion for the above remark
I’m still waiting for the Italians to say sorry for invading in 55BC.
LOL @ Bob 11:22 pm
I’m sorry for posting this.
Yes Bob - Good One!!
and now you need to say sorry for posting on The Times, Martin Samuel article about the Newlove murder , seems you and Dan are to blame for having differing views to the rest . Have a look at The Magistrate blog re his posting for the same article , entitled “how will this go down in the canteen ” , what canteen ?
Sorry….
Sorry
I know a lot will have read this but cut an paste is easy and this is very good
I’m a Bad American - this pretty much sums it up for me. I like big trucks, big boats, big houses, and naturally, pretty women.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I don’t care about appearing compassionate.
I think playing with toy guns doesn’t make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.
I think I’m doing better than the homeless.
I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or make me mad.
This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations.
I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it.
I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that’s fine; I just don’t feel like everyone else should have to.
I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn’t have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will.
Get over it.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you’re running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can’t understand the word ‘freeze’ or ’stop’ in English, see the previous line.
I don’t use the excuse “it’s for the children” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed. I know what the definition of lying is, and it isn’t based on the word “is” -ever.
I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while the indigenous peoples can’t get past a high school education because they can’t afford it. I didn’t take the initiative in inventing the Internet.
I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.
I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn’t mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else’s car when I’m stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.
I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.
I don’t want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it’s a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said - now leave the document alone, or there’s going to be trouble.
I don’t hate the rich. I help the poor. I know wrestling is fake.
I’ve never owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren’t wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every one of them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell’s Angel with an attitude.
I want to know exactly which church is it where the “Reverend” Jessie Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function.
I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve the time.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that’s better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.
I don’t believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad. You’re telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male.
If someone kills anyone, I’d say that it’s a hate crime. We don’t need more laws! Let’s enforce the ones we already have.
I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say “NO!” when it’s necessary to do so.
I’ll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.
I didn’t realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.
I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.
I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody’s feelings.
I’m neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
Yes, I guess by some people’s definition, I may be a bad American
Ooh that makes me so angry IG.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been expected to apologise to rude, ignorant people with simple, minor injuries they ought to have dealt with at home who have subsequently written in to complain because they were kept waiting for three hours while we were trying to resuscitate an asthmatic five-year-old or a pregnant trauma victim.
So, for the record: I’M NOT SORRY. And I’m glad you’re not either.
I think the only thing I’m sorry about is the state society has got itself in so that a role like this sees the light of day.
Inspector gadget wrote … How have we gone from that above to the local chavs telling police … The liberal social engineering experiment has failed. …
Experiment? That suggests that some attempt was made to verify a hypothesis by a statistical analysis of empirical data; what has actually happened is a regime of implementing the revealed truth of Egalitarianism. Failure? That implies objective criteria. In my opinion, the only failure that Multiculti extremists acknowledge is the failure to implement Egalitarianism correctly, the validity of the revealed truth is beyond question. Egalitarianism operates as a religion in that it’s basic tenants are at variance with reality or are not falsifiable and so are beyond reason.
Multiculti extremists are only warming up; take Canada for example and the case of Ezra Levant, who I believe is trained in Canadian law. Writing of the The Alberta Human Rights Commission in the post
What if I refused their “invitation”?
… There’s some legalese in there, but its meaning is pretty plain:
Shirlene McGovern, or any other human rights officer, can come into my office whenever she thinks it’s reasonable, to “examine” it. No search warrant necessary. She can even come into my home, if she gets a court order — but such a court order can be applied for and granted without notice to me. That’s the kind of ambush usually reserved for getting warrants to break in on crack houses.
Again, without a warrant, she can take any documents I have, including on my computer.
Oh, and section 24(1)(c) allows for such search and seize orders to be granted not just against me but anyone else who refuses to answer questions put by investigators like Shirlene McGovern.
That’s the power of these commissions — before I’m even found “guilty”.
Mackintosh[commission's chief] says I was “invited to respond in person or in writing to the allegations.” Indeed I was — with search warrants to enter my property and take my computer if I refused Mackintosh’s hospitality. I called these people fascist — I think they meet the definition of that stern term. …
Oooh that makes my blood boil just thinking about it. You don’t see the little chavs apologising. In fact when I caught a couple of local scrotes trying to hotwire my old car they didn’t say sorry, they said “Eff off you bitch before we effing stick you”. Which in no way could be confused with sorry. Perhaps honesty would be the best policy “I’m sorry you brought your son up to be a nasty little vandal, I’m sorry you are teaching him to accept no responsibility and show no respect and I’m sorry for the fact that he’ll be doing time before he’s 25. Have a nice evening”.
963,053
I’m not sorry if you aren’t.
I’m sorry that I felt it necessary to move across the channel in order to give my kids the childhood they deserve. It’s not perfect by any means, but a damn site better than the UK.
At least the police here don’t feel the need to apologize. They are both feared and respected and do what they are paid to do - enforce the law. Social work and marriage guidance counselling don’t feature too highly on their list of priorities.
With this in mind, try telling a member of the ‘Police Nationale’ or the ‘Gendarmerie’ to “Fuck Off” and see what you get.
My Dear Nightjack,
Sooner or later the post of Metropolitan Police Commissioner will fall vacant.
Please apply for the job.
En passant everyone, did I dream it or was there a time when Chief Constables tended to be former senior military officers, and if so was this on balance a bad thing?
Pcsouthwest,lets remember that this sort of nonsense starts from top.After all we had Tony Blair apologising for The Famine and Bloody Sunday to the tune of over two hundred million pounds and still counting.
I absolutely LOVE apologising. I always use phrases like
“I’m sorry that you feel we have not been sympathetic to you”
“I’m sorry that you feel our charges are too high”
“I’m sorry that you are unhappy about …” etc., etc., etc.,
I’m not saying I’m sorry for anything I’ve done… I’m just sorry that they aren’t happy about it.
It’s just like keeping your fingers crossed behind your back………
I have to do the same thing. In our BCU the Neighbourhood Inspectors have to fulfill the role on a rota.
I have a strict policy of NOT aplogising if we did nothing wrong, but taking action if we did. If I’m not apologising I make absolutely sure I am clear about the reasons why. I’ve never had any problem. If people are unhappy then they can take it higher up the tree, but no one has yet (in 18 months in the role).
The important thing is to make sure you don’t let any ‘attitude’ creep into your tone, so they don’t have another reason to complain…….oh, and make sure a colleague is in the room at the time (I share an office) and drop that into the conversation!
I’m not sorry!
perhaps we should also apologise for the extinction of the dinosaurs. I know that humans didn’t even exist then but it might help make dino lovers feel better
taff, don’t apologise for the extinction of dinosaurs. They are alive and well in the ACPO ranks.
Dinosaurs in ACPO we should be so lucky. If we had them then half the Home Office bollocks thats laced the UK’s gruel for the past 10 years would have never made it onto the menu in any meaningful way.
Our problem is that we have bred an entire generation of NuLabour, NuSpeak, Double Think clones.
To resist these sort of crazy ass policies we need all ranks, all fighting the same fight. How do you think the Government would cope if ALL ranks actually and openly criticised sentencing policy, the misuse of them dam speed cameras, the target culture, NCRS etc. How could any government cope if ACPO, the Fed and the Superintendents association and the Police Authority’s really started telling them how it is.
The MOPs in the less well of parts of the land know what’s wrong, the middle classes are getting an idea mainly because they are looking at not being middle class any more and the shit is starting to run over into their leafy suburbs particularly when the government policy results in their little johnny getting nicked for a school yard fight.
It takes someone to tell the truth, the bloggs are a start but for real impact you need some old school dinosaurs telling it how it is!
Lets face facts, it cant go on getting worse for ever, something has goto to give and it will. The only issue is how bad things will get before it gives and how messed up will the policies need to be to sort it out.
I personally hope we will get a grip as a nation sooner rather than later, limit the damage to little more than is current and start the long and messy business of redressing the balance.
I agree with notellin on that one, in police speak i take dinosaurs to be old fashioned bobbies just like my first ever sergeant was. He is retired now and was one of the last of his kind in my force unfortunately. The bloke was as mas as could be but an excellent police officer and fought hard for his troops. It is people like this we need at ACPO rank.
However Bob if you said that those in ACPO had brains the size of dinosaurs then I would completely agree with you.
After what “nightjack” commented and with much relection and soul searching…in no way shape or form am I sorry.
The government should be the ones who are sorry for turning this once great country into a circus!
Gadget,
I always read your blog with interest, and almost always with approval, but not this time.
If you’re saying sorry for things that need no apology on the orders of some hypocrite, then you’ve sold out.
Just say no.
Inspector
Please tell me you declined the Senior Inspector’s wish and told the parent’s some home truths. Please!!!
[...] guess that the criminals are becoming more like the police in this way at [...]
I just wish I could understand what Bert Rustle is writing about, an interpreter for simple English please.
Hey IG,
In 5 yrs as an Insp I have never put pen to paper for a complaint against my cops-ironically though I did get a Reg9 for not tking a complaint!! Do I care…….
Dont forget the line when these shite scumbags bleat about their human rights “Human Rights are for Human Beings!”
I’m sorry for thinking my Super is a boorish, bullish, noisy, witless mingepiece. Er…no I’m not!