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Archive for December, 2007

The Grass Is Greener….. honest!

Ruralshire Constabulary is advertising for transferee police officers.
A generous package, outstanding quality of life and the chance to……. gulp……..”be part of a team committed to serving a diverse community” are shamelessly offered.
Here are three reasons to transfer to Ruralshire Constabulary:
1. You read this Blog so you already know what to expect.
2. The sheep are particularly [...]

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My favourite ‘Frank Chalk’ post of 2007

STOP PRESS
After spending the last 24 hours in Liverpool, Gillian Gibbons has demanded that she be returned immediately to a Sudanese Prison.
posted by Mr Chalk (c) Frank Chalk.
It’s Your Time You’re Wasting - A Teacher’s Tales Of Classroom Hell by Frank Chalk is available at [...]

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Women; Different but Equal (and a little scary)

The December edition of Ruralshire Constabulary’s in-house propaganda magazine, “Life On The Beat”, loudly proclaims that we are “under represented by female officers in the Firearms Department”.
Sounds painful. “Doctor, I’m under represented in the Firearms Department”.
“Canteen Culture” dictates that we must call the magazine “Life On The Piss” after the first ever editor (the head [...]

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Hard Candy Christmas

Christmas remains under siege in Ruralshire Constabulary.
We have received an email urging us to “think of ways in which the wider police family can adopt a more multi-faith approach to the coming festivities”. It is important, apparently, that we “embed the traditions and cultures of our Seldom Heard communities”.
Ruralshire Constabulary recognise three types of “citizen”:
1. [...]

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Weak Brain, Narrow Mind.

It’s official. In modern Britain, you really can get away with murder.
Unless of course you are a pack of Ruralshire hounds.

Killing poor ickle Mr Fox is nasty and illegal.
Ernest Norton, 67, who was pelted to death with stones and rocks at a south-east London leisure centre in February 2006 as he played with his son, [...]

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