Platform Two for Metro City « POLICE INSPECTOR BLOG

Feed on: Posts; Comments

Platform Two for Metro City

December 20, 2007 by inspectorgadget

I met PC Ellie Bloggs in Camden Town today.

I have to say; being a regular reader of her Blog, a lot of things now make sense! My initial feelings are that she is completely mad and thus perfectly suited for her job on Response.

Her book made me laugh and she is just as hilarious in the flesh.

Back in Ruralshire, it’s so cold that the ice has ice.

Full post about a great afternoon, to follow.

Posted in Uncategorized | 109 Comments

109 Responses to “Platform Two for Metro City”

on December 20, 2007 at 7:48 pm1 gimboid

Yes yes yes..but is she a hottie?
on December 20, 2007 at 7:51 pm2 gimboid

by that I mean ..is she a pulchritudinous equally equal fembot??
on December 20, 2007 at 7:55 pm3 ex south coast

Go on Guv, is she fit or what?
on December 20, 2007 at 7:56 pm4 anon

marks out of ten please Boss?
on December 20, 2007 at 7:57 pm5 Bob

Bit risky going on the under ground in the ‘big smoke’ if they are after you IG you could have been mistaken for someone else.
on December 20, 2007 at 7:59 pm6 sadbutrue

All the readers want to know is how attractive she is. How predictable. So tell us…. IS SHE?
on December 20, 2007 at 8:05 pm7 Excessive Use

NOW we’re getting somewhere!
on December 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm8 PC Bloggs

Gadget, what did we say…
on December 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm9 Bob

Go on you know you want to tell.
on December 20, 2007 at 8:13 pm10 Moose

I heard her voice on the 5 Live program. Does the voice fit the person? Sounds nice
on December 20, 2007 at 8:14 pm11 Excessive Use

In the doghouse already, man… a rocky start, to be sure.
on December 20, 2007 at 8:17 pm12 inspectorgadget

If I get 100 requests, I’ll tell you - hows that?
on December 20, 2007 at 8:19 pm13 Bob

Go on tell us
on December 20, 2007 at 8:24 pm14 black rat

You luck bast**d Guv, we used to call it RHP in the old days. At least this confirms that she is a female and she is a police officer??
on December 20, 2007 at 8:26 pm15 Vinny

Did she take you to the end of the line……
on December 20, 2007 at 9:09 pm16 gimboid

Guv.
The sad truth is …testosterone says tell…. chivalry says not… I say … I’m from glasgow..therefore I am mildly threatening in a PC Bloggs may or may not be a woman sort of way.

An apology…

I have allowed myself to become caught up in a Daily Mail type frenzy regarding the ID of PC Bloggs. By allowing this to happen I have cheapened the blog and possibly caused offence. By way of apology I offer the stalking and eventual arrest of the Home Secretary for an undisclosed but extremely embarrassing offence….
on December 20, 2007 at 9:11 pm17 inspectorgadget

gimboid - she is definitely a woman (and a police officer).
on December 20, 2007 at 9:59 pm18 MBC

Would you have her on your shift Gadget?
on December 20, 2007 at 10:02 pm19 PC Common Sense

Bloggsy sounded like posh totty on the BBC, and she makes out like a minx in the book. Tell all Gadget. The public have a right to know.
on December 20, 2007 at 10:25 pm20 PC Bloggs

Doesn’t anyone want to know what kind of totty Gadget is?
on December 20, 2007 at 10:26 pm21 Metcountymounty

add this to the 100 requests then, we’re all curious!
on December 20, 2007 at 10:26 pm22 Bob

My dreams, PC Bloggs how are you and how did it go.
on December 20, 2007 at 10:27 pm23 Bob

Are you top totty or a minx.
on December 20, 2007 at 10:46 pm24 uphilldowndale

PC Bloggs, YES we want to know, if only to bring to this post the ethos of equality and diversity that we expect from this blog; come on boys, only 22 requests, surely you can do better than that?
on December 20, 2007 at 11:07 pm25 Metcountymounty

I think a hundred requsts from different people is a bit harsh, how about one hundred replies? you know it makes sense guv… its all good for morale :o)
on December 20, 2007 at 11:22 pm26 PC Bloggs

Wow, how flattering. If all goes to plan, the subject of my looks should beat the record number of comments posted on such various subjects as:
The under-sentencing of the scum who put an off-duty PC in a coma.
The death of a police dog.
Underhanded treatment of police by the government.

A little perspective isn’t too much to ask, is it?
on December 20, 2007 at 11:33 pm27 Andy

Iwant to know whether IG has an extendable neck in real life as in his cartoon. Would you describe him as a fit robot? The public have a right to know.
on December 20, 2007 at 11:46 pm28 Why do we bother?

I have it on good authority that she’s a bit of a minger!

C’mon guys, pull yourself together. I’m sure you all know a few attractive female officers in your nick, what makes PC Bloggs any different????

p.s. Minger comment was a lie!
on December 21, 2007 at 12:40 am29 notellin

I fear IG may not be tellin us and therefore refusing bow to our pressure to pass some form of judgement on our Ellie’s physical appearance. I am sure he has reassured Debbie that he is far to evolved for that sort of thing and failed to notice in a new man sort of way. I am also that would be a lie and am also sure that Debbie is fully aware that despite our feeble attempts to convince the fairer sex otherwise we men are but simple creatures with simple programs particularly in regards to women.

Of course i doubt Debbie with her highly evolved doughnut fibbing lie detector testing will have swallowed this and therefore will have sought and received an answer be that either a open and honest one or a evidently positive denial answer.

Therefore if IG is unwilling to publicly admit his male nature and pass on his opinion as requested then i formally request that Debbie tell us what he said and more importantly what he actually meant.

I would also like to reassure PC BLOGGS that although i am willing to admit my baser male instincts i am also as developed as my gender can be with regards to this issue which isnt saying much. Evolution is a slow process I’m afraid but I am doing my best in striving for equality but alas i fear you will always be ahead of us.

C’mon Guv we want to know!

&

Bloggsy only fair if you tell us if the Guv is prime beef or cracked leather.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:26 am30 Mr Mans Wife

Lol good question Andy!
on December 21, 2007 at 1:27 am31 Yank Mountain Mountie

Well, is she?

I mean, if there’s an attractive female WORKING cop out there I need to know! All of the good-looking women in my shop are house mice!
on December 21, 2007 at 3:15 am32 cogidubnus

Count me in…I’m asking…(though I’m so old and sad I fall for anyone with nice eyes who makes me laugh…come to think of it, I always have, so cut out the old and just say sad…
on December 21, 2007 at 5:30 am33 Xam

IG Please remember

“A Gentleman never tells”
on December 21, 2007 at 7:10 am34 XTP

Guys,

I’m as curious as the next person but . . see Ellie’s comment about the off-duty bobby in a coma.

I reckon that they’ll both have enough £££ to retire on next year and we can see what they look like then!
on December 21, 2007 at 7:52 am35 MB

plzzzzzz plzzzzzz pretty plzzz is she a hottie????

Thats gotta be 99 surely
on December 21, 2007 at 8:17 am36 TheBinarySurfer

I forsee much scanning of the CCTV footage in Camden by your respective SMTs. Did you meet at midnight under the clocktower wearing a red carnation in your buttonhole that would self-destruct in 10 seconds?
on December 21, 2007 at 10:07 am37 freakybacon

Just pointing out to you all. There are no ugly women. Just lazy ones.
on December 21, 2007 at 10:16 am38 Nightingale

I am forced to de-lurk in an attempt to counteract the miasma of testosterone on this blog with a gentle waft of female pheromones and to show some sisterly solidarity with uphilldowndale @10:46 pm. So please tell us, PC Bloggs – is Gadget a hottie or have the doughnuts taken their toll?
on December 21, 2007 at 10:45 am39 Stocking

The fact that Gadget used the word ‘flesh’ is worrying…..don’t forget Debbie reads this!
on December 21, 2007 at 10:46 am40 PC Hadenough

Gadget, you say you saw her ‘in the flesh’ eh? I haven’t seen a woman in the flesh for years. What’s it like?
on December 21, 2007 at 10:54 am41 PC Hadenough

As an Inspector it really doesn’t matter if Gadget is a hottie or not. Power is an aphrodisiac. I’ve heard that Gadget is so power crazed he even wears his pips in bed.
on December 21, 2007 at 11:17 am42 theoldman66

come on, boss, tell…
on December 21, 2007 at 11:26 am43 not of these shores

I believe this is 43. Can’t bear the thought of waking Christmas morning not knowing.
on December 21, 2007 at 11:36 am44 Bob

Is
on December 21, 2007 at 11:37 am45 Bob

PC
on December 21, 2007 at 11:37 am46 Bob

Bloggs
on December 21, 2007 at 11:38 am47 Bob

Top
on December 21, 2007 at 11:38 am48 Bob

Totty
on December 21, 2007 at 11:39 am49 Bob

or
on December 21, 2007 at 11:39 am50 Bob

not
on December 21, 2007 at 11:40 am51 Bob

IG, we are getting closer to that 100 target.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:03 pm52 Stocking

Bob,
Be realistic. If he says she’s gorgeous he’ll get no turkey on Tuesday, if he dares say she’s not, Bloggs now knows where to find him!
He’s between a rock and a hard place……
on December 21, 2007 at 1:11 pm53 not of these shores

Stocking,
Who’s the rock and who’s the hard place?
on December 21, 2007 at 1:17 pm54 Dangerous B

There can be no doubt that the question of the day is :- Is Ms Bloggs a babe???

Do tell, Boss.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:28 pm55 PC Hadenough

Bet she looks like Ann Widdicombe.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:36 pm56 Excessive Use

I was thinking more along the lines of Angela Merkel.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:36 pm57 Australian copper

Spill the beans sunshine.
on December 21, 2007 at 1:42 pm58 Mr Mans Wife

Lol I’m loving these comments! Good one PC Hadenough!
on December 21, 2007 at 1:58 pm59 not of these shores

I’m off for a late turn. Look foward to the answer when I get back. 59
on December 21, 2007 at 2:21 pm60 uphilldowndale

Gadget; may be it’s time to take the dog for a long walk and give some thought to how you are going to write in the ‘carefully of worded statement’.
on December 21, 2007 at 2:22 pm61 Kingmagic

My guess is that she is a cross between Carole Vorderman and Claire Sweeney.

Now that is pure Phoawwwwarrrr!….to me any way.
on December 21, 2007 at 2:54 pm62 PC Hadenough

Question is, has she got the station office stamp printed on her arse? If she has then we’ll find out which nick Gadget goose steps around. (Christ, I should have gone to the dark side and become a detective)
on December 21, 2007 at 3:13 pm63 Bun994

Go on Guv….do tell I’m overcome with anticipation
on December 21, 2007 at 3:16 pm64 Edward no7

I imagine her to look like……………perfection…………in a uniform
on December 21, 2007 at 3:21 pm65 John D Ford

Would it be fair to say she is a pig in knickers??
on December 21, 2007 at 3:24 pm66 Stocking

I wonder if Bloggs will get 100 requests to describe Gadget!
on December 21, 2007 at 3:31 pm67 PC Hadenough

John D - You can dress a pig up in the fanciest knickers you can find, but you can’t stop it grunting.
on December 21, 2007 at 3:33 pm68 John D Ford

Exactly. Just like Anne Widdicombe?
on December 21, 2007 at 3:42 pm69 Desperate Dan

Yank mountain mountie -

you need a transfer to the City thats ‘8th in the car crime top ten’. There are plenty of young fillies down town.
on December 21, 2007 at 3:53 pm70 Retied Chief

IG, you have managed to raise curiosity even among old retired policeman in the USA. Please though, let your conscience be your guide.
on December 21, 2007 at 3:59 pm71 Excessive Use

I would add “young police recruits” to Retired Chief’s statement, as well. And I know that some kind of description is inevitable, so at this point I’m just getting the popcorn ready.
on December 21, 2007 at 4:00 pm72 Bob

I’m just getting ready.
on December 21, 2007 at 4:09 pm73 PC Hadenough

Disclaimer.

” Following recent comments regarding Ann Widdicombe on this blog, I wish to make it clear that I have no personal knowledge of her undergarments, their state, age, frill/thrill factor, their size or of the material from which they are made (but probably nylon). The reference to pigs was purely coincidental and should in no way be construed as to infer that Ms Widdicombe resembles our truffle snuffling friends”

(Any further enquiries/complaints/writs should be directed to my good friend John D Ford who has a far greater knowledge of the subject than I. In fact he could be considered an expert.)
on December 21, 2007 at 4:16 pm74 Bob

PC Hadenough, please don’t be bashful, you know shes the one for you. Especially after her recent performance on TV.
on December 21, 2007 at 4:32 pm75 martyn

Purely in solidarity with my co-genderists. Do tell
on December 21, 2007 at 4:34 pm76 TotallyUn-Pc

I don’t want to know what Bloggsy looks like… the risk of shattering my imagination is too much. If she looks like the girl on the front of the book or not is irrelevant. As far as I’m concerned, thats her, and thats that… please don’t tell me she looks remotely like Ann Widdicombe, cos I simply don’t wish to know!

Now, I wanna know what BAWPC looks like… thats far more interesting!!!
on December 21, 2007 at 7:23 pm77 PC Bloggs

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7153584.stm
on December 21, 2007 at 7:26 pm78 Desperate Dan

Was gadget on a unicycle then?
on December 21, 2007 at 7:42 pm79 uphilldowndale

who knows about the unicycle; but the ability to back pedal might come in handy.
on December 21, 2007 at 7:49 pm80 Desperate Dan

Twenty to go
on December 21, 2007 at 8:14 pm81 Kingmagic

Carole Vorderman, Claire Sweeney and a hint of Kelly Brookes….

….thats it. I wont sleep tonight!
on December 21, 2007 at 8:24 pm82 notellin

Guuuvvvvvv, are we there yet?
on December 21, 2007 at 8:37 pm83 inspectorgadget

Post should be on in a couple of hours
on December 21, 2007 at 9:00 pm84 Joe

I cant believe that your blog has stooped to the equivalent of The Sun! I used to have alot of respect for your blog Insp Gadg but I honestly thought yours was above this sort of thing.
on December 21, 2007 at 9:03 pm85 inspectorgadget

Joe - I know, that pesky “free speech” thing.
on December 21, 2007 at 9:07 pm86 Voiceofexperience

Its just a bit of fun at Xmas. Lighten up Joe.
on December 21, 2007 at 9:08 pm87 Excessive Use

I imagine Joe to look like Lyle Lovett.
on December 21, 2007 at 9:13 pm88 PC Common Sense

Joe it’s all a bit of fun, no harm meant.
on December 21, 2007 at 9:24 pm89 Alison

And it’s given so many people something to read all day!!
on December 21, 2007 at 9:38 pm90 53.9N

I must say I’m with Joe and I don’t support this at all - that’s about 91 I think. 9 more to go….!
on December 21, 2007 at 10:55 pm91 newbeard

OK
I have been reading your blogs for months now, and never posted, but come on Gadget, do the decent thing, is she, or is she not, well, err, nice??
Furryface
How many is that now??
on December 21, 2007 at 11:12 pm92 uphilldowndale

Well, what ever revelations there are to be; from ‘his’ or ‘her’ perspective, will just have to wait till morning, I’m off to bed; is that 93?
on December 22, 2007 at 12:54 pm93 timbo633

Course - you dont have to write down what she looks like. A picture will do.
on December 22, 2007 at 1:04 pm94 Mr Mans Wife

Desperate Dan at 7:26pm - Classic!
on December 22, 2007 at 3:52 pm95 pcR

Bella Emberg having a bad hair day.
on December 22, 2007 at 6:58 pm96 PC Hadenough

Joe - sorry to shatter your illusions, he reads ‘Nuts’ as well and only has a CSE in home economics.
on December 22, 2007 at 6:59 pm97 PC Hadenough

By the way, home economics = cooking for chavs
on December 22, 2007 at 7:01 pm98 PC Hadenough

Ooooh, ja, ja, nearly there.
on December 22, 2007 at 7:03 pm99 PC Hadenough

Jesus Christ !
on December 22, 2007 at 7:04 pm100 PC Hadenough

I’ve just shot my bolt !!! 100 !!!!! Bring it on Gadget.
on December 22, 2007 at 8:07 pm101 inspectorgadget

Read Bloggs - last two lines.
on December 24, 2007 at 6:34 pm102 Joe 90

Far from me to make comment on such issues as women and how beautiful they may or may not be, but I have to say, she’s most likely blonde, with a beautiful smile and an amazing mind to match.
on December 27, 2007 at 3:13 pm103 Nick Hough

IG, read the last two lines of what?!

Regards,
Nick
http://nickhough.blogspot.com
on December 29, 2007 at 12:38 am104 MrMansWife

Last two lines of Gadgets post Nick, which was posted on PC Bloggs blog. Link is in the post above (which was written by PC Bloggs).
on December 29, 2007 at 12:40 am105 MrMansWife

Oops, no it isn’t. I’ve just confused matters more haven’t I?

Oh well, join the club - I’m confused every day
on December 30, 2007 at 1:41 am106 PC Bloggs

Just to clarify, we took the posts down. They will be coming back in the new year, fear not.
on December 30, 2007 at 4:14 pm107 Nick Hough

Glad I’m not going completely insane then!

Thanks

Regards,
Nick
http://nickhough.blogspot.com
on December 30, 2007 at 4:24 pm108 inspectorgadget

NEXT POST - That Bloggsy meeting in more detail.
on January 10, 2008 at 11:24 pm109 PC Bitseach

Oh. My. God. 1983 called. Said it’s time to move on!!!
Let me try to represent 2008… IG - so was Bloggsy intelligent?? ;o)
LOL

Trackback URI | Comments RSS

Leave a Reply