62 French Girls Can’t Be Wrong
November 25, 2007 by inspectorgadget
The ‘Inspector From Upstairs’ rang me this week and said ‘Gadget, the Boss wants to see you’.
‘Which one?’ I asked in amazement (the Senior Management Team having long ago abandoned any thoughts of involving me in anything political).
‘The real one, the Chief Superintendent’ came the reply. Always pleased to meet someone I have only ever heard about in the news letter, I went immediately.
‘Ah Gadget is it?, nice to see you. I need you to organise a little something for me’. The Boss handed me a document. I left.
“Who are you and what do you do for me?”
Back downstairs, I looked at the document. It was the template for something called ‘Operation Inclusive Festival’. The document told me that we must ‘embed’ the festival formerly known as Christmas into the various different ‘faith groups’ in Ruraltown.
I phone the ‘Inspector From Upstairs’ to ask what this means. He sighs the sigh of a man used to dealing with idiots such as myself. ‘Come on Gadget, you have to involve the other religious groups in (he lowers his voice conspiratorially) Christmas (he almost can’t bear to say the terrible word) it’s part of the Citizen Engagement plan’.
I reach for the phone directory and telephone the nearest Mosque in Metrocity.
‘ Can I involve you in Christmas?’ I ask the man on the other end of the line. ‘No’ comes a grumpy reply. ‘But I haven’t even told you what it’s about’ I implore. ‘Oh I know what it’s about, it’s about ‘Operation Inclusive Festival’ and it’s part of your Citizen Engagement Plan‘.
‘So why aren’t you interested?’ I ask. ‘Oh we are interested but I’m now fully booked with every other police station in this part of Metrocity, but I might be able to fit you in next year if you book now?’
But I know that it’s too early to say who we will be interested in engaging with next year, so I politely refuse.
A Christmas shopping trip from Bordeaux. 62 French Girls Can’t Be Wrong. Now there is a theory I’d like to test.
Eventually I find a sympathetic elderly Sikh gentleman who is here to pick up some lost property left by his daughter last summer, when she was here on holiday. He takes pity on me, winks knowingly and agrees to come down from Metrocity to judge the Christmas ‘teddy-bear’ competition for the children at the recreation club.
The ‘Inspector From Upstairs’ is reasonably happy. ‘I suppose it will have to do’ he says grudgingly, secretly hating me for my partial success. In the brutal business of fourth floor politics, a ‘Diversity’ result is worth ten ‘Crime Detections’.
I’m glad too see you are focusing on the real policing issues, boss!
What a complete load of bollocks! How much more do these idiots upstairs want to waste proper police officer’s time. I mean other faiths/religions are not going to celebrate Christmas (ooops shouldn’t have said the dreaded C word) as they have their own celebrations but if they do wish to join in the fun then I’m, sure they will and people will accept this. Going around trying to force them to join in and celebrate is a little insulting in my books but those PC muppets have their heads stuck so far up their (or senior officers) arses that they can’t see this.
This is also a bit crap for you boss as you’re far more effective at being on the streets, leading your troops and getting the job done, but thats not important right now. Must be frustrating for you.
Come on Gadget
Failing to plan is planning to fail, act now, draw up plans for Easter;rather than the teddy bear competition, you could rustle up something a bit more pagan,it’s bound to be more fun……………………….
But why, why are the police involved in this?
Gadget I would like to think you are having a seasonal wind up but alas I fear you are correct. The trouble is we have no police orientated chief’s anymore only political career minded government syncophants. Although to be quite honest in the situation above, what on earth has this to do with the police? Why don’t you ask the chief super to join you on your next Friday/Saturday lates so he can see what policing is all about?
POLICE…Policy On Liquidating Individual Christmas Events…
Why oh why oh why????
What about atheists, as myself, are we included in the grand plan? Oh no I bet not bunch of f*******.
Bob
You do believe in something - they just haven’t told you what it is yet.
Gadget.
Lol, brilliant post! I haven’t laughed so much in ages! Produced a laugh from Mr Man too - so now you know it’s good!
I remember when if someone said the phrase “The ‘C’ word” they meant something completely different ( Usually in a statement for a section 5!)
I remember this, I understand itis the ‘winter festival’.
I can also remember wondering what faith this little beastie belonged to.
Then I found out it was supposed to be something all encompassing and diverse and yet subtle and innoffensive. I still cannot understand what it means, no matter how diverse and strategic itis supposed to be.
I understand that the artist formerly know as prince is now a symbol.
I understand that the festival formerly known as christmas is now known as something else. I am still thinking of a suitable symbol.
Winter festival ?
That link………………..
Governance framework ??????
Community Empowerment ????????????
Citizen engagement ???????????
I have to go and have a lie down.
This is a bit daft… :o/
I don’t see how anyone gets offended by Christmas, they got something against Fat people in red or something?
Off topic, can anyone tell me what a 13d is? >
Right erm, well, hmmmm
I have to say Guv that i am really confused as to the Policing Relevance of this assignment of yours. I mean i can understand in the Politically Correct era that someone thought t was a good idea but i am still confused as who got the balls to declare it a Policing issue (I say balls as the vast majority of senior types are men the sexists misogynist bastards)
(I got that last line in to make it clear to the PSD that i am on the correct side of the PC line)
I mean really how is this a Policing issue, how are we going to convince Her Majesty’s Subjects (notice how i don’t use the heretical term of “citizen”
that we are deploying Citizen (subject) Engagement policies if whilst we are occupied with this said Citizens (Subjects) are getting robbed, stabbed, beaten, burgled, raped, victimised, defrauded abused, murdered, annoyed etc?
I understand the need that we as Police have for the cooperation and assistance of the community at large, thast been true since Peels time, but i somehow think this isn’t the way to get it. Thinking back to days of yore i remember the Police having support from most of the community most of the time and we didn’t do this sort of thing. Instead the local bobby would turn up at the Village Christmas Fete or something or have a visible presence on Carol singing night so the little darlings could go begging erm i mean singing door to door in reassured safety.
(All the above ideas are copyrighted but feel free to use them with a referenced mention in your Operational Debrief of “Notellin on Inspector Gadgets Blogg” but only if it goes well)
I am well used to odd policies but i do think this may be step to far. Have you checked your seized drugs store, i reckon someone up high has been smoking the crack pipe again. Either that or its the final proof that once you leave the Federated Ranks you cease being a Police Officer.
Cant we complain to the IPCC or the National Audit Office about this waste of Tax Payers cash? How is it that the press haven’t picked up on this yet, t hey could have a field day writing endless articles on how Police Spend money on things nothing to do with Policing. Some Journo could make a career on this, 43 forces, 43 million non Policing related ideas.
Come on Press have a go at the bosses and their Crack Pipe inspired ideas, its about time they got your attention rather than sensationalist over reporting of minor Junior (federated) Ranks.
I cant understand what it has to do with policing anyway. Surely if someone wants to waste time on it, it should be some muppet from the local council.
As a bit of a after thought, are all the other festivals belonging to other religions going to be renamed so not to exclude christians?
Or maybe, everyone could celebrate they’re own religious festivals, and we could all ‘live and let live’. Just a thought.
Just out of curiosity, does the boss ever get you to ask christian leaders to get involved with Ramadan or Hanukkah
This is fantastic news. Apply the same thinking to alien superstitions.
If other festivals like Divali, Eid, Ramadan or whatever can be commercialised and ‘atheised’, in the same way that Xmas has, then it will have achieved something useful. Go for it :^) .
I’m a copper and cannot understand what it is all about. I police a diverse area and the people who live in that area cannot understand how the Government represent their views HAVING never spoken to them . They think it is a big joke as we do. Never mind mustn’t allow the social engineering project be held up.
ha ha that is so pathetic. I think I want to cry.
Ah, the inevitable tick in the box. Works wonders! Bearing in mind there is a Mosque, there must have been other Muslims to engage with. Nice of the Sikh chap to help though. But Christmas is Christmas, call it what you will, and I have my shopping to do….
Have you seen the force ‘Season’s greetings’ card.
Its so bland it cant possible offend any one. Although I am personally offended that is sent around Christmas time and not during August.
IG, the only question I have is why did heap big cheese think of you for this pointless exercise in token diversity.
Off topic but…….
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7105565.stm
Cooking the numbers again!
[...] my last post, 62 French Girls Can’t Be Wrong, has caused major rioting and widespread disorder [...]
Why is it the responsibility of the police to make other faiths interested in Christmas? I don’t get it.
Maybe if we had an interest in others we might not want to argue and fight and discriminate. Vicola I think it’s about inclusion. Who knows? But one thing I do know is, Christmas is Christmas and I am going shopping.
First time I’ve ever posted on here but as a Neighbourhood Inspector who would normally be right in the firing line for a ‘bright’ idea like that I can honestly say that even the most PC of my bosses wouldn’t see that as a police matter. The festivities would be down to the council and I might have to help organise the policing, but who got invited would be nothing to do with me!
The idea is so crazy that at first I thought that someone must have been pulling your leg but you say that other police areas had contacted the mosque.
Everything you normally post resonates with me absolutely, but even here no one on our SMT would be stupid enough to think that was an appropriate issue for police to deal with.
You have more of my sympathy than you already had!!!
Sorry, mac, you had me up until the point where you said “no one our SMT would be stupid enough…” You sure aren’t from Blandmore!
[...] The weather here has been horrid for days,it has been raining stair rods, lashing and lashings of driving rain, most unpleasant, but the show must go on, a raft of Christmas fairs and charity fund raising events were scheduled for the magic date of ‘the first weekend in December’ (and I didn’t see a police person at any of them) [...]
Excellent…. I am pleased to see that farcical stupidity is alive and well across the shires.. i too am engaged in a similar pointless exercise in the depths of the rural where there are no minorities whatsoever……god help us….
On a serious note, I have just been reading over some previous posts, and while its depressing, its nice to see someone experiencing the same as me. I’m contemplating leaving the job now after quite some time in, and doing anything else. I cant believe how bad its got, and its getting worse. We had 3 ’student’ officers on a large market town over the weekend.. none could drive on blues and all were frighteningly childlike….and me with 16years in the army and almost 10 in the job trying to find any motivation to go and eal with skateboarders on a pavement, my neighbour keeps moving my bins etc etc etc…..