Shang A Lang.
June 30, 2007 by inspectorgadget
On this shocking day for Tartan law enforcement, I would like to send my condolences to the police officers who will have to complete the paperwork involved in the incident at Glasgow Airport.
One smoking jeep, two in custody for Terrorism offences and some seriously pissed off passengers. Ouch… that’s a LOT of Rainforest.
The Prime Minister (Scottish…geddit?) told Debbie and I via Sky News that we are now on Red Alert. Are you on Red Alert Debs? I asked her as she sprawled fetchingly on the sofa with a bottle of Becks.
“Well they aren’t coming to Ruralshire are they you silly git” she replied. She has a point. What could they do here? kill a few sheep and damage the beginings of our washed out barley crop perhaps?
The Glasgow Airport “definitely viable” bomb is the biggest shock in Scotland since Les quit the Rollers in 1978.
“This Terrorist bomb” said a Sky TV security expert, “shows that they are terrorists and they have bombs”.
I’m still waiting to be called in to supervise all the paperwork generated by our extra “reassurance” patrols. After all, there are a lot of worried sheep in the County.
(Best wishes go out to regular contributors Jock The Cop and Noddy. Let’s hope the poor sods aren’t out in the rain beating off Sky News reporters)
No IG I sure as hell aint!!! I’m sitting watching it too and texting my sister in law what to do as she is sitting at a travelodge as we speak waiting to get on a flight to Spain for her 2 week hols (poor sod!).
I refer you to my post on your previous topic. I just thank the stars the Glasgae Polis got their quick enough as I think had they been a minute or two later then they wouldn’t have had anyone to interrogate (I mean detain and interview!) I think a few weegies had every intention of shoving a few bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 and Buckfast so far up those guys rectums they would have been man made molotov cocktails instead of bringing their own!
Does anyone else shout at the TV!! lol I mean some of these news reporters talk so much CRAP!!!! some of the stupid questions or quotes they come out with are totally ridiculous and its clear they have bugger all else to say so are just padding it out to try and make up for the lack of anything decent to say!
Never mind, its Wales turn next !
they’re apparently on red alert due to reports of petrol soaked suicide sheep heading towards Cardiff Park yelling Alla Ak Baa’aaaa 
I know what you mean about the news reports. I don’t usually watch the news on TV, I just read what’s happening on the web, but it’s so frustrating when every article on the same news website says exactly the same thing but in a different order! I want to be told something new, something I don’t know, not the same thing over and over again!
IG,
Thanks for the kind thoughts, but umless there’s a call from our Strathweegie colleagues I’ll be safe on one of my weekends off. However, just in case oor sheep get suicidal too, my phones are offline and mysteriously my mobi’s battery has malfunctioned.
Seriously though, I think Mr Broon’s ascendency may have blighted oor corner of the UK for the first time and well done to jock public today in assisting the Polis.
… and to Jock the Cop, it really is time to be SEMPER VIGILO.
Quote of the day from The Times, which shows who understands how to detain a suspect(on fire at that) something the PCs seem to have had trained out of them(common sense)
“The police tried to pounce on him but he fought back and was struggling with them. It was only when a member of the public punched him in the face that the police managed to restrain him. The police were trying to spray CS gas in his face but it was not working.”
I can see it, determined suspect and PC’s following the ‘PC method’ whilst Joe Public shows them how it should be done
Something seriously #rse about face there.
mrmanswife, maybe the problem is that there just isn’t another view, angle, take perspective, account or fairy story left to be told. It would be a brave reporter who looked the camera in the eye and said, ‘That’s it; end of story there is nothing else to say on this matter, I’m off for a beer!’
Feeding the 24hr news culture means skip loads of poor quality reporting, just to fill the space; can you imagine what the director is screaming into the poor reporters ear, ‘KEEP TALKING JUST SAY ANYTHING we have another 01:45 to fill!’
Mind you a change is as good as a rest, it must beat standing in thigh high flood water for hours on end.
When I saw the news I thought eek maybe I’d been a bit flippant on the last post, maybe JOCKthecop will have to dust down his Braveheart uniform after all.
A lot of it seems to be scare stories. For whose benefit, I don’t know, certainly not ours.
Unlike the Ricin attack and the tanks at Heathrow this plot did actually exist and wasn’t made up for the benefit of Politicos.
However, I struggle to believe this is done by “professional” terrorists. Rather like Hydrogen Peroxide, you wouldn’t use Gas as an explosive - it takes up too much space, even compressed.
Have a look at the footage of the Hindenburg disaster ; a really big bang, but look at the volume of Hydrogen needed to do it.
Re Ian says post , that’s right, I NEVER take CS gas out , or draw my baton ,not many people can recover from a properly thrown punch to the nose , I always tell my shift don’t start something you can’t finish with weapons . It’s very hard to subdue males in the 18-50 range unless you can almost almost totally disable them with a first strike blow. Unfortunally the piss poor ninja training given today begets confused cuddly theories on violence. If your going to do it , do it with maximum intent and mean it -use the force proportionate to the threat - terrorist, albeit a really crap one , need their eyes popping out ( I’d love to be the caves of Wazristan ,can you imagine the highly educated Dr. Ayman al-Zawahri -the brains in Al-Qaeda- rolling his eyes and saying ,WHAT ? stop it it’s embarrassing )
Ian - PC’s know that there is less paprework for CS spray than for punching in the face.
It takes a very special kind of stupidity to think setting fire to your car’s tyres and your trousers and trying to ram a building is a devastating terror attack that will rock the nation to its very foundations. This is not terrorism; this is criminal damage, dangerous driving and being a complete and total tit.
As a rural pc, I love terrorist attacks, although to be honest, this one lacked a certain something (terrorist ability, I think)
We get bizarre requests from someone sitting in an office 30 miles away to be extra vigilant when driving along country lanes, and orders to make regular checks of our local railway stations which may or may not have a bedraggled drunk sitting in the shelter at some point in the evening, in case al-qaeda are targetting us next.
AND someone in the front office gets to change the alert status board from standard to raised, or even critical. It reminds me of Red Dwarf - “Are you absolutely certain you want to go to red alert, Mr Rimmer? It does mean changing the light bulb…”
Details of all checks by email to the inspector by the end of the shift, or it’s smacked bottom time!
You say:
“…The Prime Minister (Scottish…geddit?) told Debbie and I…”
I say:
You must be a recent immigrant (or perhaps just a badly educated inhabitant).
The correct English language version should be:
“The Prime Minister (racialist comment exised) told Debbie and me…”
When will you polis learn how to spell?
Peter
I wonder if they’ll be charged with smoking in a public area?
Oh dear! A spellist has just emerged from behind the sofa.
We are all really sorry not to have attained the Olympian standards of Peter W, wonder what the W stands for?
SOMETIMES, MATE, PAL, grammar and spelling goes out the windar when the rains piddling down yur neck and its 2am, which perhaps it wasn’t in the Gadget household at the time, but I always make sure the tickets spelt correct, like, for such as yourself
Anyway ups, here’s the rule
I or me?
Aren’t Debbie and I the subject of this? Meaning it is I and not me
Thanks for coming
Gadget
But more praise for grabbing the bull by the horns and sorting it out, though, especially in a case like this. In my mind I see a sketch out of a film, (Under Siege 2) where the bad guy gets sprayed in the face, then grabs the can and sprays the mace in his mouth and then smacks the person spraying him. Then big Steve comes along and knocks them all over.
Where were the armed response that I see all the time at the airports(The ones that look like bouncers)god help us if those chaps ever have to let rip inside an airport?
Or even cops with Tazers, though the petrol around might have put them off doing that!!!!
Emmmm Ian & IG have you stopped to consider that the cops were not in fact spraying the scallywag with CS at all but being typical Scottish ‘weegies’ themselves were simply assisting the chap and spraying him with white spirit to aid his meeting with that holy of person they seem so intent on shouting on!
Did you see the guy getting interviewed on TV when he said, I saw the guy standing there burning and I turned to an official next to me, he must have been official he had a yellow jacket on! and I said are you no gonnae help him and he said, sod that, let the beeeeeeeeep burn…..! Classic!
Well today was fun! Contrary to most Sundays in my Force there were more bosses with scrambled egg on their hats and office huggers looking lost standing with their briefcases underarm, in their slacks and jumpers thinking this doesnt look like B&Q where I normally am at this time on a Sunday…….emmmm a bit fair’d!
We must ALL be vigilante! is the cry, we must all be everywhere at once wearing a high vis jacket so Joe public thinks there’s more of us than there really is and feels safe is the cry. We must all submit more intelligence no matter how trivial on terrorist activity is the cry of cries (I’ll just go round to my friendly terrorist intelligence shop then shall I and order some!!!) not to mention next week we will be told off for clogging up the intelligence system with crap!
Meanwhile we have a male in custody after biting the bollocks of a taxi driver after being picked up…….. does that count?? Life goes on in psycho city !!!
The beat man meanwhile just raises his eyebrows, closes his eyes and inwardly……cries!
Intellegence reports are all well and good when the dept recieving them does something worth while with them. Our force has become overloaded with intelligence recentely and so has come up with a novel idea of how to make it more managable. They have stopped accepting new intelligence. any that gets sent in now comes back to the original officer requesting further work be done on it. The last piece I put in included names, dates and times of drug drop offs, where it was kept in transport and the vehicles used. It came back to me for ‘further research please’ but didn’t specify what else they wanted. It concluded if I could not perform more research then I should not resubmit it.
It feels as if i were to put very specific intel in on imminent attacks it would be returned until I could find what colour underpants the suspect was going to be wearing on the day. The office monkeys strike again!
I remember the Bay City Rollers. They were rubbish. About as skilled as these wanabee terrorists. Although they probably caused less mayhem when they toured and drove all the teens mental as there was probably less paperwork in 1978. Am I right?
The driver’s name has just been released by the press.
Sinj Majeep ……
just returned from leave today at Belfast international airport and apparently the whizz kids in charge of the latest operation ” Stable Door ” had 20 odd landrovers blocking access to any mad drivers trying to drive through the main door . Taxi driver was having a right laugh at it .
Mind you I don’t think Sinj Majeep would try it here though as every peeler is armed and can hit any stationary target at emm 5-10 yds !!
The ‘British Pipple’ will never give in, our new Master, (Prime Minister) has formed a ‘National Government of Unity’ - How creepy is all this bollocks. IS the ‘british Pipple’ like the ‘Iraqi pipple’ or the ‘palestinian pipple’?
I suppose we are also going to charge the one on fire with smoking in a public place ? The legislation is in and there could be a detected crime out of it.
Love the Blog Insp, one of the best police blogs i pop in to read. Keep up the good work. Your closing in on PC Copperfield and PC Bloggs .
[...] Shang A Lang. On this shocking day for Tartan law enforcement, I would like to send my condolences to the police officers who will […] [...]
Has anyone else noticed that the ‘rollers’ hair cuts are back in fashion. Now that’s a crime.
Jeez I feel old.
Oh. How I miss the paperwork!! Nah.
How many jeeps were on fire? Counted at least 30 on Sky. Was it some kind of blazing jeep reunion? Surely the purpose of responsible reporting (how I pray for the day) is to make the point and develop it, not saturate the same film footage until we find ourselves switching over to Fireman Sam or Balamory for moral guidance.
By the way Gadget, it’s spelt ‘definitely.’
Keep up the good work
In our force we have had to go and visit all the “ethnic” restaurants and fast food outlets to “reassure” them. Why? Last I heard the terrorists weren’t blowing up kebab shops.
Yes I know its really an exteremly politically correct way of showing that not all muslims are terrorists and protecting them from reprisals. Not that they had any reprisals against them following 9/11 and 7/7.
And I’m sure that even the most biggotted of bigots wouldn’t take there anger out on the local Chinese chippie (yep had to go to them as well).
Paul says “you wouldn’t use gas as an explosive”.
Actually, if you do a Wiki on ‘blevee’ and ‘fuel/air explosive’ you’ll find that the most powerful non-nuclear explosives (e.g. the USA’s ‘daisy cutter’
use either gas or an air dispersed explosive.
What the perps[1] here did not have (largely ‘cos we had years of the IRA, Angry Brigade, etc. and now keep it pretty safe) is access to any high explosive with which to break open the cylinders and distribute/ detonate the LPG.
ISTR the IRA using gas cylinders to blow up trains and that someone once tried to assassinate Charles DeGaul with one.
[1] The press seem to be saying that two of them were Doctors. If so, I’d rather, given their technical and chemical ignorance, that they were terrorists than practicing in the NHS … far fewer deaths in the long run.
Noddy commented on the gas cylinders.
The modern cylinders are all fitted with safety valves to make it very unlikely
that the cylinder will explode (unless you try very hard indeed). I think you
can see one of the ‘pop’ valves operate in the clip that the BBC were showing.
The IRA used the cylinders from welding sets (nice thickwalled steel) as
mortar tubes, rather than bomb casings, as far as I’m aware.
Cadbury.
(The loon with the flaming trousers was straight off the Goon Show: Singiz Thingz.)
To Jock the Cop
can you discuss with your CI
1:why they are making people go into the
We should be thankful that our local terrorist cells have not recruited some of our trackie / hoody wearing “youts’ to deliver the next big ied - the chip pan device. These would be in plentiful supply and I think given the number of chip pan fires I’ve attended on our local estates they are quite adept at using them(always on themselves - shows the suicide element, ok ok so its not intentional). That said, we have several things in our favour…
1. I’m not sure they’re aware of where the airports actually are? Most of the underclass never seem to get outside the town, unless the local Mags court is closed for redecoration that is.
2. Intgelligence should pick up the manky vauxhall nova with 5 baseball cap wearing ‘martyrs’ heading at high speed towards the target, if only because of the ‘techno’ blasting out of it, the occassional shouts of ‘bruv’, ‘innit’, and ‘five O’ as they pass the police check point at the airport.
3. They are unlikely to get close to the target without being nicked for section 5 on the first coppers they see, and obviously no docs for the car, the odd outstanding warrant and a little bit of puff in the bottom of a fag box.
However, sort all that out and I think we have what the met might call ‘a potentially viable chipan device’ People with heated vegetable oil and the intention to use it (as long as its after midday)
To Jock the Cop can you discuss with your CI if it is possible to go to those dizzy heights ( not specifically but any bobby who can ask questions to those who occupy high office)
1:why they are making people go into the short term car parks (usually multi story)when they are expecting bombs, does no one remember Madrid a few months ago, the whole thing would come down and there is plenty more ready fuel parked there, even more casualties!! sounds like a good plan to me.
2:Would the glasgow airport fire bobbies be as good if a plane came down, no it would be blanketed in foam in seconds, why did they not do this, as they would not be more than 600 yards away, could have been more for the cameras, it might be cynical, but it is a cynical world we live in.
3: what kind of plan did the authorities have, seems like none, other wise 2: would have been seen implemented.
I’m shocked. I turned the telly on Sunday and saw the burning car with the Glasgow headline and just assumed Rangers and Celtic were having a summer pre-season friendly and the locals were just up to their normal business.
It wasn’t for another 10 mins after the CNN idiot had regurgitated the story for the third time that it finally sunk in what had really happened.
JOCK the COP - yes, I saw the same person giving his interview about the Official in the Yellow Jacket saying - ‘let the *%%$$ Burn’ I had to laugh, but then thought, oh dear, some bright spark, (no pun intended) in their ivory tower will suggest another investigation by the Professional Standards Dept and the IPCC!!! Lets hope it wasn’t a PC!
I also agree re: some of you over the reporters on TV. They had some guy phone in who had been quite a good witness, but when he saw one of the offenders get out of the Jeep with a bottle of petrol in their hand and the rag alight, quite rightly he grabbed his family and shouted to them to ‘run’. That wasn’t good enough for the reporter, he continued to push this poor guy over and over again why he thought it was petrol and alight?. Even when the guy said he saw it being thrown and it ignited along with the rest of the Jeep, you felt the reporter was disappointed why this guy had grabbed his family and ran the other way! Poor bloke, bet he will never ring in again!
I’m just a bit worried about going to see a GP or attending a hospital now! I was worried about MRSA and staff hygiene, now……………………….
…and fair play to the MET traffic officer who stood firm in face of the onslaught that was a raging Dame Elton John. Fantastic! Can you imagine if the old fruitbat had struck the officer with his handbag? If you did nothing else in 30 years it would be worth it! Bring back TrafPol! Belligerent buggers, but they got the job done!
areasearchnegative (july 1 2007 @ 0350pm)
asked “aren’t Debbie and I the subject of this?”
Actually, they were the grammatical objects, maybe even indirect ones, and possibly even datives, but definitely not ablatives.
So, yes: It should have been “Debbie and me”.
Best wishes, to Mr Gadget and his family.
Peter W(alker)
Ian to answer your comments if I can. Much as I am adverse to criticise the ridiculousness of our establishment at times I feel I do have to defend them a little of this occasion.
I’m not sure if you are speaking as a cop yourself or as an outside observer but in anycase have you ever been at the scene of a major or even a remotely serious incident as it kicks off or within say the first 5 to 10 minutes?? I don’t care if you are wee eck the Polisman fae Stornybridge or Dirty Harry from LA, bottom line is that when something like that happens no matter how good your planning is, how many times you have ‘rehearsed’ a major incident (which I think is a laugh cause you always get a heads up as to what to expect so make sure you have those things ready to respond!!) it is always pandemonium at the beginning. Ask any service ? Police, Fire, Ambulance, armed forces when the balloon goes up for the first 5-10 minutes its total chaos.
Also turning up first at the scene of total carnage is a nightmare!! You will likely be alone, have very little service and soon as people see you they all look at you and say go on then take control what you gonna do about it then! Your training is meant to be stand back and cp-ordinate but when you have people bleeding, screaming etc and others looking at you to do anything its pretty hard not to get sucked in!!! Just think of the poor cop who arrived first on the scene at Dunblane, a local village beat bobby in a sleepy Scottish village. The guy never recovered.
Training is about getting to grips with it soon after and starting to get some semblance of order as quickly and effciently as possible, setting up RV points, etc etc. I think they did not bad, they were there in minutes, started clearing, yes some were moved in direction of car parks initially to get them away from jeep but the airport is surrounded by nothing but car parks so where else do you think they would likely go. They did quickly realise this and started evacuating them aware of the risk of secondary explosion.
Lastly re the Fire brigade. I understand what your saying but the units that arrived first on scene were standard Tenders. Foam requires specialist tenders (most of which would have been inside the secure perimeter of the airport as opposed to units attending externally) plus foam isn’t much good on gas cylinders on fire which was there main concern. I know !!! I’ve had to deal with these fires and there a total nightmare. They normally result in a fixed water jet being placed on the gas cylinder and trained on it for around 24 hours before anyone is allowed near it as they can expode hours after the fire has been put out. So sorry but I gotta defend the Fire service too, I though they did pretty good and when you see the limited damage caused to the building (mainly cosmetic to entrance) and little or no impact on the terminal opening up again within 36 hours I think they did pretty good!!
We can always do thins better mind you with the luxury of hindsight, our office lurkers are good at that!!! Just ask IG!
Glad that the Sky news sceurity expert was able to clarify for us that “They are terrorists and have bombs”, I can see why he has been promoted to the “dizzy heights of expert”. I thought it was a very badly driven jeep.
I suppose we should all thank our lucky stars that they (the terrorists) acted with such breatkaing incompetence.
I agree with whoever said they can’t have been professional bombers. The Independent today had pages about how well-planned and “innovative” terrorist are nowadays. Can we please have some more like these who think mobile phones are going to make petrol explode.
PC Bloggs:
erm..
Mobile phones can make petrol vapour explode…
But let’s not go into the exact how,
lest we allow someone better preparation.
Peter