At the start of the recent (and ongoing) heatwave, the staff at our nick received a patronising email from some H & S waster telling us to “drink lots of water”. So….. we are in full body armour, the aircon on all the cars is knackered as usual and it’s nearly 100 degrees (in old money) and some complete donkey feels the need to tell us to drink water. For goodness sake shut up and leave us alone. They will be telling us not to forget to breathe next!
They don’t really give a monkeys about our health. What they are doing is “Arse Covering” in case one of the troops keels over.
“What are you going to do about it then Inspector Gadget?” I hear you cry. The answer is, there is sod all I can do about it (the working conditions) but I can guarantee you that if you work for me, you will NOT be getting any patronising bloody emails. That’s a start isn’t it?
Ahh the patronising email, the back bone of the modern police service.
I, however prefer the obsucre email. The one which tells you things you must do in case of a particular event. Eg:
“Any officer who has had any dealings with any left handed, cigar smoking, albanian, belly dancers MUST contact the PS XXXX at the Proactive Left Peoples Department. PC XXXX works 10 – 2 at HQ. Failure to obey these instructions will lead to your supervision being informed”.
(Read PS XXXX is hoping to go for his Insp board sometime soon, the more stats he collects, the better he can look at tackling belley dancer offences).
They are usually followed by a swift movement to the delete button.
why not ignore the idiotic emailers, until they actually send someone around.
then arrest them on a charge of either (a) racism, or some other bizarre ‘hate-crime’, or (b) attempting to procure ‘red mercury’ for terrorist purposes.
the latter charge is best of all, because then they will spend the next 2 years banged up on remand before the trial eventually collapses.
they’ll think twice about sending spastic emails after that…!
We got a similar email but with an added bonus of also advising us to drink less fizzy pop & alcohol as it will dehydrate you.
Good to know that when the hot weather finishes we can start drinking more alcohol on duty
Lol vic. I’m amazed they haven’t sent an e-mail saying “use a fan” and “remember to breathe in and out”. How on earth did everyone manage to get up, dressed and somehow navigate themselves into work, let alone perform their jobs without these essentially helpful e-mails???
If only you were my inspector hey!! ?Perhaps you are!
These the same folks who think combat pants are dangerous?
Sad as it is there are some in the rank an file who would faint if not directed to breath and who would book sick from heat stroke if not told to hydrate and to stay the f**k out of direct sunlight (have seen it happen).
The only way to stop this is to change the labour code so the obviously stupid people who were hired by the dilligent HR managers could be readily fired and the HR staff flogged for crap hirings.
Then the H & S staff would be less likely to send these emails.
You are six ranks from the top, pull your finger out, and stop moaning!
It has always been the same….
Evolution NOT Revolution wil cure it.
Someone to make a stand. It’s easy to complain and comply.. You all do it.
Blimey, ‘Retired’ must have had a bad day?
No luck with the Diana Enquiry then Sir John?
Not you? Bad day ‘repping’?
If you are a retired ‘colleague’ and you did around 30 – then you must have had a lobotomy. Evolution? When did natural selection ever matter to the police (or any other public sector occupation). Like promotes like, systems ensure compliance. If you’re not on board, you’re out! Who will make a stand? No one who wants the next one that’s for sure.
Surprised they didn’t tell you that water should only be in plastic bottles to avoid the risks with highly dangerous glass and not to put bottles in side pockets of combats….
Had to laugh when I read this. Think yourself lucky the powers that be care. I am a detective in a ‘Northern’ force. Our office is in the basement of what can only be described as a bomb proof nuclear bunker, tiny ’slots’ for windows and no air conditioning. As the temperatures hit 32 degrees at nine am in the office last week we started wingeing. So…off to the buildings administrator (a civilian..) We want air conditioning we said. So. the nice man from Health and Safety came round and promptly told us off for having the brass neck to have ‘lots of computers and printers on’.We even had to move our fridge out of the office because it too raised the air temp by a micro degree. Apparently….. we have redress if it’s too cold to work, but not if it’s too hot. Send your health and safety people up here!!
Can’t you just arrest them for wasting police time
.
totally agree
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